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Comment by Rachel Lynn Schuler on February 17, 2011 at 5:03pm

sheila, i know how you feel i lost my best friend too, my mom....we were so close, and i miss talking to her, just everything....its so hard, and im tired of it being so hard, sometimes i wish i didnt have any feelings....feelings can sometimes reall suck...im sorry for your loss hun, for some reason i sometimes get comfort about thinking about a sweet moment about that person, it gives me comfort, i dont know if that will help you....keeping busy helps some, but we are only human....my mom was my whole world too and all the memories, and 30 years, well 40 really, of her being in my life then gone, what a nightmare....my heart goes out to you sweetheart, they are always with us....therapy might help...i havent gone yet but will need it....im afraid to open the wounds again

Comment by Rachel Lynn Schuler on February 17, 2011 at 4:59pm

michael, not to be personal, but does your therapist or anything have you on any med that might help even a little?  im on one and it helps some, but i was on it before she passed....i know the depression, boy do i....im trying to hang in there, and go on somehow, talking on here helps hun, we are here :)

Comment by michael sandoval on February 17, 2011 at 8:27am

Dear Sheila, I feel the same way. It has been almost a year and half for me without Denise and nothing has changed for me. I am also very depressed.

Comment by sheila kerr on February 17, 2011 at 7:54am

ok today it has been 11 months since I lost Marvin,I do not feel better yet I miss him more and more every day and now my daughter think I should get out of the house more.I do not want to go to dinner or any of the things that normal people do all I want to do id go to work and come home and watch tv.I know I am most likely depressed but I miss my best friend and dont know how to get past this feeling as he was my whole life.Next month it will be a year and I am no closer to getting used to him being gone than I was when he died.Any ideas would be helpful

Comment by Barbra Ingrassia Fairman on February 16, 2011 at 5:04pm

Thank you michael for your condolences. I feel your sadness and I wish there was something I could say to ease your sadness. I wish my sister in law felt one little bit of what you feel. This girl dusted off her jeans and just moved right on. One day she is telling me that my brother's slippers are still by his side of the bed and 6 months after he died she is already dating her next potential daddy to be. Now she's onto her next boyfriend and their making plans to take my brothers kids to Disney. I cringe when I listen to her. My brother has been saving his change for the last 9 years so he could take his kids to Disney. What is her rush! Maybe she has the right idea and we're all crazy. I have to deal with losing my brother and now I have to deal with her trying to sell his family to the highest bidder. We were grieving together. Did she just wake up one day and say time to find a new daddy. Those poor kids. She doesn't even want them to grieve for their father. Just move on. Unfortunate for her my nephew is not going to let that happen. And to just parade men in front of those kids after they lost their dad. Wanting to scream now and have to go check my kid. My problem is my family won't give me the time to grieve

Comment by michael sandoval on February 16, 2011 at 9:57am

This is Groundhog day. Everyday is the same. I wake up and cry for Denise. I drive to work and cry. I cry at work. I cry at lunch break. I cry on the way home. I cry when I get home. Then the next day comes. After seven days, I get to talk to my therapist.

Comment by michael sandoval on February 15, 2011 at 9:30pm

Denise didn't feel good and first went to the hospital on 18 march 2009. We were told it was gastritis or something. They gave her some prescriptions and sent her home. In may they told her it was cancer and she needed a colon resection immediately. There were complications. Infection. Hospital visits. One chemo session and she was gone. September 2009.

Comment by Rachel Lynn Schuler on February 15, 2011 at 9:10pm

her birthday is soon....oh I hate the remembrances and the holidays....I so wanted her to make her 80th birthday....age may have played a factor in her getting so sick, but it still makes no sense

Comment by Rachel Lynn Schuler on February 15, 2011 at 9:09pm

I understand your alls anger....its a very vicious thing.....im angry that she got that ill so fast, something must have been able to be done to keep her halfway healthy....it makes no sense to me....that makes her death even that much harder....she WAS getting better, then took a turn for the worse

Comment by Rachel Lynn Schuler on February 15, 2011 at 9:07pm

Barbra I somewhat know what you feel like....my mom was to go in for a simple procedure, when they discovered cancer....before she went in for the surgery, she was FINE....there were complications with the surgery, im not exactly sure what went on....but within a 3 week period she deteriorated rapidly, was in the ICU, how does someone get DEATHLY ill when they were FINE before entering the hospital?  I know she had cancer, but....something went terribly wrong and I still struggle with it

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