Losing Someone to Cancer

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Losing Someone to Cancer

This is for anyone who has lost somone to cancer. I lost my adopted Mom to breast cancer some years ago. She was everything I could have asked for. She loved me because I was just me. She also loved my family and children as if they were her own.

Members: 632
Latest Activity: Jun 13, 2022

Discussion Forum

Lost Dad to Lung Cancer

Started by Shane Hughes Apr 16, 2020.

I feel worse 2 and a half years on, than I ever did. 11 Replies

Started by Michael Thompson. Last reply by morgan May 12, 2019.

Give yourself time to heal

Started by Felicia Evans May 8, 2018.

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Comment by Laura Salefski on March 1, 2012 at 4:48pm
I hate my life without Jon. I miss terribly.
Comment by michael sandoval on March 1, 2012 at 2:54pm

I hate life without my wife

Comment by Ron on March 1, 2012 at 10:07am

Thanks Phil and Jan Your comments lets me know that i am not completly losing my mind after losing my Jean.

Comment by Philip B. on February 29, 2012 at 7:27pm

Ron, my heart breaks for you.  I read what you wrote about the dream and just lost it.  I really don't know which is worse - the loneliness or the thought of even attempting to meet someone new.  

I heard this years ago and never forgot it:

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal.  ~From a headstone in Ireland

Comment by Jan Duvenage on February 29, 2012 at 3:20pm

Ron it does get better with time, the memories never fade and the hurt stays with you for a long time, April 19th will be two years since my beautifull Margi was ripped from us by pancreatic cancer, she outlived the doctors prognosis of 6 months by 15 months and just as we thought she had it beat, it took her swiftly within 4 weeks. After the 21 months of living day by day in reasonable comfort and without much pain to see her especially the last three weeks of her life was heartrending and made me feel so hopeless and useless by not being able to protect and defend her against this killer, i cried at night alone in our bedroom at night and during some moments at work when speaking to the doctors on the phone after hearing the inevitable.The first year afterwards was very rough as it's all the firsts, the first Mothersday then her birthday then Christmas then New year without her and all these days had their own emotional outbursts from me. I am much better now, i still talk to her at night and when i speak to someone now i am less likely to become emotional when i mention her name or that she has passed away which i couldn't do previously. We all work through it in our own way and it may take longer for some but i believe our soulmates someway and somehow communicate with us subconciously to let them go, and for us to get on with carrying on living not in the past but for the now and our kids and families but more importantly for ourselves. Keep well Ron.

 

Comment by Ron on February 29, 2012 at 2:47pm

If not for morphine my wifes would have suffered much more than she did .It put her to sleep so she did not feel anything when she left this world. Now getting off that.I had my first dream about my Jean last night.We were setting at the kitchen having our usual morning coffee and she said to me what she had said to me beforeshe left.You will find someone else to be with and do things with.I said to her .Would you? She said no i would not.I told her then stop talking so nuts.Thats when i woke and started to cry.Like i am right now.

Comment by Jan Duvenage on February 28, 2012 at 1:39am

Whilst my wife was still here she never took anything stronger than over the counter medication, only towards the end when she was admitted to hospital 3 weeks prior to her passing did she go onto morphine,she was allways loathe to go onto prescription meds and so was I. My first month without her was very traumatic and i suffered a panic attack which i had no clue that it was a panic attack i just thought and felt like i was having a heart attack, after going through to the emergency room and having being attended to i was told it was a panic attack, and after hearing the news that my wife had just passed away the doctor wanted to put me on tranquilizers to which i replied no. All our lives we battled and fought through different issues and we allways agreed on never using scheduled medicines, i battled and am still battling to come to terms with not having my dearest Margi with me, but am gratefull that i don't have to depend on medicines to live my day to day. If it works for you and helps you cope and come to terms with your losses then use it, if it wasn't for my loving and supportive family and also accomodating workplace then it may have been a different situation.

Comment by Laura Salefski on February 27, 2012 at 9:07pm
I use Lexapro. It keeps me going as well.
Comment by anna l. on February 27, 2012 at 8:26pm

Michael, I hope that means its working for you.  For that Im glad.  Whatever helps keep you trying to live his life without your wife is a good thing.  Ps, I have taken Effexor a few years ago and it got me through a very difficult time in my life, so I know what you mean when you say, Effexor rocks! 

 

Comment by michael sandoval on February 27, 2012 at 3:07pm

Effexor Rocks

 

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