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Comment by Linda Kelly on August 18, 2013 at 12:59pm

I lost my daughter to alcoholism three days ago.  She was in a rehab when it happened.  I am devastated and filled with grief.  She had been to many rehabs and for many years to AA, but she just couldn't beat it.  It's a horrible illness and it finally took her life.  I know I will have many sad days ahead and this is just the beginning of a long period of grief.  I lost my husband a little over a year ago and am still grieving him. It doesn't seem fair. 

Comment by Storyas Fawnfeather on August 7, 2012 at 10:36pm

Hi.  I was looking for the pet loss support group and saw this one on the list and decided to talk to you.  Do any of you feel that you've had a harder time with grief, recovering from grief and find solace in that person's well being in the after life due to their alcoholism?  My dad didn't die directly from alcoholism.  He had lived much of his life as an alcoholic though, and so many people place such harsh judgment on us during the years he was drinking that it has made my grieving and my faith in his well being harder.  My dad was a good man though.  He drank because he was severely abused as a child - so severely that he was left physically handicapped all of his life.  One of the reasons for his drinking was to kill the pain that doctors tell me was extreme - and that is just the pain from the physical handicaps.  There was also the emotional pain from the abuse no one can measure.  Even though he was in that much pain, he worked long hours every day to provide a better life for his family.  And, he did not pass on the physical abuse, which is a hard thing to do.  So, I remember a man in a lot of pain who was a good man who I loved very much, but people are so harsh in their judgments.

Comment by Chelsea Wilson on February 22, 2012 at 3:24pm

My heart goes out to everyone in this group... I lost my mother to alcoholism on October 21st of 2011. Yesterday marks 4 months since her passing, and I'm currently seeking guidance in regards to how to cope with, well, pretty much everything with her being gone. 

Comment by Sam on September 1, 2011 at 5:50am

It is very tough to lose someone to alcoholism either directly or indirectly. I lost my soul mate to murder. He is the only man I ever truly loved but I had to leave him becasue of his alcoholsim, it changed him into a different man.He was starting to become physically abusive, drinking and driving and he ended up stealing thousands of dollars from me. He was murdered seven years later by an old friend of mine who was also an alcoholic. My ex had been trying to turn his life around and i believe he had alcohol under some kind of control. She didnt. She is now rotting in jail, for now at least. So, it effected my and my sons lives greatly, and her sons lives. She became estranged from her kids years ago now they have to deal with the fact their mother helped murder someone. My ex became estranged from the son he loved so much. Our son is now dealing with addictions, mostly just to weed, some to alcohol..but he is young and i hope he striaghtens out. At least he knows he has a problem and uses things to self medicate the pain away. I did too for a many years, for that and all the other pain that was in my head. It took me hitting bottom over my exs death, trying to kill myself, that changed my life. Now I actually enjoy living. It took a lot of therapy and work on my own part. So, something good comes out of everything...my ex is finally at peace as his life was hell, and I came to value my life and i am here to help others through my experiences. Maybe try joining alanon to help you deal with your guilt and feelings. I too suffer guilt, wondering what would have happened if i stayed and tried harder. But mostly i know i did the best i could at the time. Life is hard, but we have to live one day at a time, and do the best we can by being a good person to others and make everyone we touch live's better.

A.A. Thought for the Day

Anyone can fight the battles of just one day. It is only when you and I add the burden of those two awful eternities, yesterday and tomorrow, that we break down. It is not the experience of today that drives us mad. It is the remorse or bitterness from something that happened yesterday or the dread of what tomorrow may bring. Am I living one day at a time?

Meditation for the Day

I give God the gift of a thankful heart. When life seems hard, I look for some reasons for thankfulness. If I seek diligently for something to be glad and thankful about, I will acquire in time the habit of being constantly grateful for all God's blessings.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may be constantly reminded of causes for sincere gratitude.

Comment by DNG on May 6, 2011 at 8:00am

Hi. I lost my mother to alcoholism. She was only 58 when she passed away. I carry a lot of guilt that I currently seeking counseling about. I tried and I tried to get her to stop drinking so much. I formed interventions with the family so that we could confront her an her drinking problem. And she just wouldn't stop. She didn't stop drinking until a doctor told her that she was in the final stages of liver failure. 6 months later she was gone. I'm very angry with her. I feel that she was so very selfish and didn't care what she was doing to the people that loved her so dearly. I have 4 young children, 2 of which will never remember their grandma. I'm still hurting inside and now that Mother's Day is right around the corner, it seems like the guilt and anger I feel are at a maximized level!

Comment by Gil & Gloria Wade on April 1, 2011 at 11:19am

My heart goes out to all of you, I can relate to your pain. I come from a long line of alcoholics, mother, father, sisters, I worry about my son, and right now as I'm writing this note I am awaiting the release of my (ex)boyfriend from jail where he's been sitting since Wednesday after receiving his 2nd DWI in 2 years. About 6 weeks ago I found out he had been hiding and drinking in the garage and although it broke my heart, after 5 years of lies and deceit, I made him move out. The addiction has totally consumed him and I'm afraid that the depression and the repercussions of this latest legal mess could drive him into something tragic.  I'm so sorry, Ellen, Jordan, Debbie, know that you're not alone in your ache, be strong, just by sharing your story you're helping others, it has not all been in vain.

Comment by debbie ramirez on March 16, 2011 at 12:07am

some people just dont get it.  My little brother died last week. he was 47 and alcoholic since 15 after my dads death, he lost it. Never recovered. People looked at him as a lost cause. i am dying in side as i watched him suffer for so many yrs. My father was also a alcoholic and passed at 47. I hate this discease and hate what it has done to my family. i have 4 brothers left and 3 are the same. i am the only girl and waiting for the next one. I miss my brother david so much i can hardly breath. God Bless them all!!

Comment by Jordan on January 19, 2011 at 11:06am

Im sorry, Ellen. I really am.  I lost my dad's twin brother in 2009 from the addiction that had been ruling his life since my dads death in 1990.  Ross Elden Hunt was a great man. He had a wonderful sense of humor and just missed my dad too much, I guess...

Comment by Ellen on October 24, 2010 at 11:54pm

The sadness is eating me alive. The DISEASE of Alcoholism overcame the love of my life. He was 55 and no longer alive and able to continue our journey on earth together. I miss him with every beat of my heart and am not sure how to continue on. He was unemployeed for the last two years due to the economy and made poor choices with alcohol in my eyes. When he started reaching for help, his body was already to plaqued with the chemical of alcohol and his liver was gone. GOD I am sick without him. It was supposed to be life together here. I am handicapped physically since some surgery and we were soulmates on earth. I am lost.

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