Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
Started by silvia maria. Last reply by silvia maria Aug 5, 2022.
Started by dream moon JO B Aug 13, 2021.
Started by Lucinda. Last reply by dream moon JO B Apr 19, 2021.
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This is not something any of us will ever "get over". I like to think it'll just be something that we deal with. It's just the way things are now. It sucks, but sadly, there just isn't anything we can do about it. Thanks to everyone that shares on here. It's very comforting to me, it makes me feel not so crazy. I have no one I feel comfortable talking to about any of this. I have a lot of people that care, just no one I feel understands.
I talked to my Grandma the other day on the phone and she said that Christmas' just seem sadder now. As much as I'm hurting everyday, I think my Grandma is hurting more. I can't imagine burring not one, but all 3 of her children. She and all of you give me strength. Especially with Christmas fast approaching.
I will never get over losing mom……..no one should get over losing their mom. People keep saying, you need to get over it, even my family but I never will. A part of me is gone forever…What make the grief even worse is that my healthy 43 year old brother died just one year before mom. For the last one and a half years, I’ve either been grieving or hurting. The last month of mom’s life was the worst. Having lost both parents under different circumstances and three siblings; two suddenly and one after a long illness. I think I prefer sudden death…dad died just a few hours after an auto accident so we didn’t have to watch him suffer. Seeing mom suffer was worse than anything I could ever go through.
Sue ~ in case I'm not on the site tomorrow...Happy Birthday! Celebrate yours and your mom's...it's o.k. We do have to keep going because our mother's would be incredibly disappointed if we didn't. I have to believe that our mom's raised all of us to be independent and strong woman and therefore, we keep breathing and put one foot in front of the other. On another note, I keep getting all this information from various people on "how to grieve"...really! I didn't think there was a right or wrong way to grieve. I cried and grieved so hard the first 3 days after my mom died, I knew I didn't want to experience that level of pain again. I haven't really cried since then, but that doesn't mean I miss my mom any less. Who knows what will trigger an emotional cry and when, but what I do know is that it won't make any difference...it will still be o.k. I appreciate and care for you and very grateful that I found this site. Hugs, Lisa
Hello my wonderful friends...
It's Sunday...I'm trying to come up with a reason to get up, shower and do something. Yesday I went and saw the movie New Years Eve. It was cute. Mom would have liked it to. It's funny...I always keep her in mind when I do things. Tomorrow is Moms birthday...mine to. Our first separated . She in heaven, me on earth. I will be 56. I have been doing this weird thing...organizing my home so that when I die, my friends will know where everything is. I had a dream about a month ago that I was driving my car in the fog and all of the sudden there were multiple cars in front of me...my air bag deployed in my face and darkness began..there was an overwhelming sense of peace when I woke up. I thought..this is how I am going to die. I really wish so much that my mother was here, healthy and happy. I wish my sisters were not just cold calus people. I am feeling a bit down today...but I will make it through another day just being Sue. I to know I will se my mother again. How do we will without our moms? Because yes...we just have to Melissa. This is my first birthday without my wonderful mom. In her honor I will live and be the best person I can be. Thank you for being there for me you guys. We are sisters sharing the most intimate experience of loosing our mothers. One day....maybe we will meet in person. Love Sue
Elaine,
I have no doubt in my mind that I will see my mother again, I know I will. My children keep me going. But I fall off the healing wagon alot lately and let the grief overwhelm me I can't help it I miss her so much.. I had no idea I would be 30 yrs old and be motherless! I ask myself...How will I live without her? A voice in my head says..Because you have too! I was sitting on my couch early this morning feeling very lonely for my mother..I felt her presence and instead of it comforting me like it normally does..It made me miss her so much more. This is so hard.
I pray for healing and comfort for us all,
Melissa
I'm so sad for us all..But I'm glad I'm not alone..thank you so much all of you ((((Hugs)))))
Finally worked up courage to visit the Cancer Center where mom had her 6-month chemo treatment. I could see her and me walking into the facility and me helping her getting into the car after the treatment. The facility was closed for the weekend. I sat in the car in the empty parking lot and started crying. How I wish she could continue with the treatments and she might still be with me today. I felt guilty for not talking her into it.
Like Melissa's mom, mine never smoked or drank a day in her life; Like many of your moms, cancer took her life; Like Sue, I was with her till the very end; Reading your comments help me realize I am not the only one who feels the way I feel. It's surreal to me that she vanished from this earth. This kind, loving and smart person that I love so much can no long be found.
Sue ~ I know exactly what you mean when you say "being just Sue". My mom and I always lived together and when I adopted my daughter 10 years ago, then it was always the (3) of us. I'm struggling with figuring out what the "new normal" is because I'm not sure when it will be the "new normal". It's like my mom is just on an extended vacation and she's not really gone. My mom was so full of life and energy...loved working in the yard, going out with friends, dancing, laughing, being feisty and the list goes on and on. It's just so surreal to me. I'm blessed that I have my daughter and I love her deeply and she has helped me with the healing process. I think (for me) it's best to stop using the words "grieving process" and begin using the words "healing process". I don't know...each day, actually each hour is different. Life would be so much easier if she was just here and not sick. I question a lot, why does cancer exist and why does God allow it when He knows what it does to a person's body and to their family members. Hugs to everone, Lisa
Hi Friends,
Went to 2 Christmas parties last night with my friend Brenda. It was so nice to see the husbands and wives together having a nice evening taling about their families and their holiday plans. I was so in awe of what they had. Eachother. Came home to my pup Rudy and 4 kitties waiting for me at the door. Didn't cry for a change. Maybe I am numb or just getting slightly use to being just Sue. Not Mom and Sue. I feel that mom has moved on in her journey...that makes me happy for her. What do the words "survived by" mean in an obituary? I guess it is survival isn't it. I only have a couple Christmas presents to buy this year. So different for me now. All of our moms would YES want us to be happy and create a life for ourselves. I have no idea how to do that. My thought always goes to moms lifeless body lying in that bed. My mom....her little body no longer her. I really am trying just like you are. Love Me
I'm having issues sleeping, soon as the kids go to sleep. the pain hits me like a ton of bricks. I miss my mom so much. I really need her.
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