Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
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I recently lost my boyfriend, and I loved him very much. In fact the depth of my grief is so intense that it serves as a testament and constant reminder of the depth of our love and intimacy, which in turn is a constant reminder of how much I have lost and will probably never have again... As I read your post, I fear that the pain and emptiness I feel with him gone will never go away, and it likely won't. I know he took a large part of me with him when he left me here on earth, and I have already tried to fill that emptiness with anything I can, and then afterwards I get angry with myself for even thinking I will ever be able to replace him with anything or anyone. I know he, and that space in my heart for him, is irreplaceable. I don't need to try to live from that place in my heart, but I need to start living from the heart that is still left in me, the parts of my heart that are unused, because I still have more to give (not necessarily to another man, but towards my work and the world around me). I don't know if that makes sense.. and I didn't really have anywhere I was going with this post, you just prompted me to start rambling my thoughts.
I guess what I would remind you to do is to never forget your love, and in never forgetting her, you must never forget her thoughts, feelings, prayers, and hopes for you, and you must live as she would encourage you to. I think that is sometimes the only way I can push myself out of bed, into the shower, off to work, and so on, from day to day. I miss my love, but while I find zero motivation in daily living, the one place I can find it is in knowing he is still there and wants, hopes, prays, desires that I continue to live and work with all the love I have, and that when I do, he smiles.
I don't see myself ever letting go of him, not in 10 years even... but I pray and hope that I will be happy again. I hope you can be happy too. But in the meantime, perhaps I can lend you some comfort in the simple fact that you are not alone in your suffering... that realization (partly with the help of this website) is a comfort for me.
Thank you for your post.
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