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Permalink Reply by David A on June 18, 2011 at 6:21am

I went one week after and had a good cry at the grave site.  I have been back several times and each time gets better although the sadness is still with me.  I am looking forward to visiting her many times of the coming months.

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Permalink Reply by Semary Rose on June 18, 2011 at 10:11pm

Thank you David.  I know 3 weeks is a little longer than most people.  Tomorrow will be three weeks since I last saw him alive. 

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Permalink Reply by BS on June 18, 2011 at 1:22pm

It is really hard when you lose someone close, I lost my Grandma in December 2010, the first time I went to visit her at the cemetery, it just felt so weird, like its not happening, but after a few visits I felt at peace there knowing I can talk to her and I feel good when I am there.  I visit with her at least 2-3 times a week.

 

I recommend you stop in and visit with your husband, you will find it comforting.  I hope this helps. *HUG*

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Permalink Reply by Semary Rose on June 18, 2011 at 10:09pm

I am so nervous anticipating the visit tomorrow.  I am going to do it with my best friend.  Oh my god, I miss him so much.  I don't understand how anyone can get through this.  I think I am still in shock.  I appreciate your positve response.

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Permalink Reply by Semary Rose on June 20, 2011 at 8:37pm

Thank you Resee.  I also feel closer to my husband right here in our house.  I did not make it to the cemetary yesterday.  I just could not do it.

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Permalink Reply by nadia on June 21, 2011 at 7:42am

I have been going back everyday for the last month since my wonderful sister died - hardest was the first time I went on my won a few hours after funeral.. I fell onto of the flowers and was trying to get physicallty close to her.. I had to force myseld not to try to take her out..

 My parents go there at least once a day to put fresh flowers and see her.. It is not easy - it i never easy but feel the need to goo.. there are days I feel OKish - there are many  more days when I go that I feel that this cannot be real.. It kills me to see that my younger gorgeous sister is down there... I feel the need to take her out and hold her in my arms.. I miss her physical self so much.....

I go there and talk to her...kiss her photo, light  candle... on my happy-ier days there it so happens that there  is a beautiful purple butterfly there always zooming around me or my twins or just standing there.. I feel it is her - I have had several unusual encounters... makes me feel good even if most people would dismiss these as pure coincidences...

Thinking of you....nadia

 

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Permalink Reply by Nicol Smith on June 25, 2011 at 12:07am

I didn't get to the grave site until almost a year after my dad's funeral.  I'm living a long way away... and it was hard not having seen it.  The whole distance thing at times is really hard.  My mom did what she could for me... sent me a picture but it's not the same.  So when I went... I got some flowers for my dad's grave and for my uncle's grave (he died a few months after my dad).

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Permalink Reply by Rebecca Hill Loflin on June 25, 2011 at 8:51pm

What's seems right for me may not necessarily be right for someone else, but I have been to my son Marty's grave every day

since he died.  It has been 17 months.  It helps me to go, sit and talk to him.  Someday's as I walk up the hill to his grave I just can't believe this is the way my life has turned out to be.  I keep flowers on there according to the seasons.  He was a big UNC Tarheel fan and I always keep UNC flags and wind chimes there.  It helps me to know I'm doing something he liked. It's still like a nightmare the way he died in the hospital after a routine heart procedure. I will never have peace with what happened,  I tell him this everyday and what is happening in the world that he no longer can enjoy

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Permalink Reply by Donna Gauthier on June 27, 2011 at 6:39pm

  I guess I am in a diffrent place tham those of you who have writen here. Because we cremated my son who died April 17. And he has been with me on the dresser waiting for the snow to melt on the mountin. We had a wonderful celabration to his life. A big BBQ where everyone could come and talk about the time they share what part of the lives they spent with him. An Because everyone is having troubled that was wonderful. It was much better than a traditionnal funeral. That is what he wanted. He didn't want to waste the money on a funeral. That's what he would say anyway.

  But now I have another problem it is letting go. I am dreding the day we take his ashes to the mountin to scatter his ashes. I know he will be with those who care because his grandmother grandfather and cousin who'sd ashes are scattered there also. I am having the trouble letting go. I talk to him all the time. I live alone so I only had him living with me before he died. We lived together no body called or come to see us then. and still don't come. I will be very lonly when his ashes are gone. But I am sure no one will understand how I feel. So I don't think I can talk to them about it. I think I will get a small attractive jar. And keep a small amount of him for my heart. I know it sounds strange. I know it sounds strange to most because they are having the other people going to the grave site

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