I know this is not a straight answer. 

I lost my fiancee one month ago on Thursday. I cry every single day.

I try to hold myself in until I get in my car, then I scream and cry until I get home\\

Just wondering what other people do or have done to keep themselves from going crazy (which is what I feel at the moment)

Views: 787

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Maybe never.  I've been doing this for almost 3 months. I hate everything about my life now. I hate being alone, I hate the memories that intrude on every thought. Everywhere I look around me I have memories. I was with Rocky for 13 years and now I can't function.

Maybe someone has something more uplifting to say than I do

I totally agree. Probably never. And it's ok to feel that way. But we need to remember. Our loved ones that left us behind, wants to see us live a happy life. As long as we don't forget them. I said it before. The words I used to hate so much was when people would tell me"TIME HEALS THE PAIN" I never believed such thing. But 8 yrs later, I can say I somewhat agree. It probBly took me 4 yrs to finally stop the constant tears. Don't get me wrong I still hurt. And sometimes I cry like a baby still. But in my belief or my situation, my wife doesn't want to see me sad anymore. But all this is easier said than done. Obviously I haven't let her go yet. I e been through few relationships, but 8 years later, I'm still a lonely man. Hang in there. And it's ok to feel how u feel. Nobody knows.
I lost my wife 2008. Nobody knew what I was feeling inside. It felt ugly. As if the whole world was staring. What got me thru was that I was thinking of my kids the whole time. But yet I would cry alone when I heard music or saw photos. I'm still not the same.

I know that there really is NO solution to our pain today. We can comfort one another, but the pain is still there.

One thing that helps me through the pain of such loss is HOPE. I try hard (it doesn't work every day) to look forward to a wonderful future as promised in Gods word the Bible. Here is one scripture that helps me.

  • Re 21:4 And he will wipe out every tear from their eyes, and death will be no more, neither will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore. The former things have passed away.”

What a beautiful promise ... no more PAIN. I am confident in the future, even though I am in pain today.

Thanks dennis

Sorry for your loss and pain. When I lost my wife, I was so devastated. I mean really really torn apart inside. I cried so much that I never knew anyone can carry so much tears inside. I know it's not for everyone, but what I did to ease the pain, was confront my fear, pain,and sadness. Without the presence of my kids or anyone else, I made it an obligation to relive the memories with my wife by going thru every picture, every song , every movie, and every location that would remind me of her and me together. I didn't hold back any feeling or emotion it would bring to me. That being said, I cried and cried and cried. It was a combination of cries. Sometimes I cried like a baby. Then I cried with a lot of anger. Sometimes just tears and other times with loud agony screams with never ending rivers of tears. Whether it be in my room or on the freeway or in the shower. Unfortunately it lasted too long. Year after year. But what it did , was it helped me act strong and under control around people in public places, at work, and around family. I know this is no solution , but I guess it got me thru. So I say. Nevertheless it took me 4 years to accept it and to move forward by actually letting her Rest In Peace and not showing her that I was still in such pain. Somehow I finally got the message that she's happy up there and I should also be happy down here. Just smile at the good memories. But MANNNNN!!! I wish she was still here!

Thanks for sharing that

I am really am sorry to hear about your experience and the level of pain that you are dealing with.  I lost my girlfriend last week due to damn cancer.

Russell Friendman says that the pain will not dissipate on its own any more than your leg will if you cut it open with a chainsaw.  You need professional help.  

https://www.griefrecoverymethod.com/

Check YouTube for Russell Friedman videos.

dnt no 4 yrs mutli loss sisne 2012 evry yer sisne 2012 u cud say

I think it's probably different for each person. For me, the pain never has and never will dissipate. My husband died nearly four years ago, and every day is still unreal to me. Literally, life is now unreal to me, and means nothing to me.  

I think perhaps it's at least a little bit easier for people who believe in some sort of afterlife, because at least they usually believe that they will be with their loved one again.  I neither believe nor disbelieve in an afterlife -- I fervently hope there is a good, peaceful afterlife in which I will be with my soulmate again, but I don't know if there actually is or not.

If you do have some sort of faith, then maybe speaking with a spiritual adviser of your faith would be helpful to you.

I sincerely hope that you and he are reunited some day.   Your love for him is as powerful as it gets.  I am so sorry that you were so cruelly separated from each other.

Thank you. I hope the same for you and your girlfriend.

RSS

Latest Activity

Speed Weasel commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"GriefShare is a church based support group. They do have meetings online, but the usual format is a group of people experiencing a loss getting together weekly to watch videos (13 weeks total) about grief and loss. After the video, we talk about the…"
Oct 21
Natasha commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"is griefshare a website like this?"
Oct 21
dream moon JO B updated their profile
Oct 16
Morgan Sangrouber is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Oct 10
Addie replied to Kali's discussion It was not supposed to be like this in the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
"Kali I’m so so sorry you are going through this. Grief is hard enough, but going through it secretly, all the while having to continue showing up for your kids, is just brutal. Perhaps your friend was careful to hide your conversations behind…"
Sep 26
Kali added a discussion to the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
Thumbnail

It was not supposed to be like this

In 2014 I met the most amazing man ever. We were both in our very early 20s and were looking for different things at the time. We ceased communication for roughly 6 months. During which time, he completed basic training and joined the Air Force. By the time we reconnected he was already at his first duty station.. 8 hours away.We decided we wanted to continue our relationship and proceeded to cultivate a deeply emotional connection. Regular calls and video chats, visits while he was home on…See More
Sep 26
Kali joined Cathy Richardson's group
Thumbnail

Being the Other Woman/Other Man

This is for anyone who has lost their lover to death and you were the other woman/other man in their life. We have to grieve in silence. I can't find any support groups and feel like I'm the only one going through this situationSee More
Sep 25
Profile IconKali and Bridget Baker joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Sep 25

© 2024   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service