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Permalink Reply by D. Stone on January 12, 2011 at 1:40pm

Penny, You are never alone. We are all here for each other. This is the best avenue I have found for dealing with my grief. Everyone here understands to some degree what each of us is going through. No it's not the he perfect solution...that would be to have our loved one back, but it really helps me to know I can come here anytime and find someone who will at least "listen to my pain" I lift you up in prayer that angels may be by your side and help you carry your heavy heart. I care..very much!

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Permalink Reply by Ash on January 18, 2011 at 11:45pm

I say wear the ring....my father passed away three months ago and his sister said to my mom "you still wear your ring?" I was so baffled she said this to my mother. Like you said, your still married. Give yourself time and dont feel ashamed for wearing it. You'll know the right time, if ever to take it off.

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Permalink Reply by Patricia J. Jones on January 19, 2011 at 6:42am

Thanks so much Ash~my ring definitely is staying on for now.  My daughter and I talked about passing the larger diamond in my ring to her (she's engaged to be engaged)~I always intended on giving her the ring some day.  There is no part of me that still doesn't feel married to my husband.  For now it stays on.  Blessigs to your mom.

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Permalink Reply by Brittany Hensley on February 14, 2011 at 8:53pm

I can't even begin to think about not wearing my wedding ring. I wear mine and his. I also plan on getting a tattoo for my husband and I had a friend ask me "What about the next guy?" I about came unglued. Honestly...who cares about the "next guy". I know I am only 25 yrs old and am still young BUT I have lost the man I chose to spend the rest of my life with. There was/is no "next guy" My aunt lost my uncle about a year ago and on the one year anniversary of his death she took her ring off. She said she grieved for a year and that was long enough. I think she is now regretting it. I think it is up to each individual person on weather or not to remove there rings. I may switch my rings to my right hand but take them off is not a choice for me. I am sorry about your lose.

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Permalink Reply by Patricia J. Jones on February 15, 2011 at 6:07am

Thanks Brittany~I'm very sorry about your loss too.  It really hurst doesn't it?  Some days (like today) I just want to crawl back into bed and pull the blankets over my head.  I still have my ring on.  I'm thinking about giving my large diamond to my daughter (who is engaged to be engaged ~ her fiance Steve is loving that idea) to keep it in the family.  It's almost two carats and originally belonged to my mother-in-law.  Then I might take the smaller diamonds, along with mine and my husband's birthstones and make more of an eternity ring.  There will never be another "us".  Just my husband and I.  I had the best and would never settle for anything else in a relationship.  I hope this day brings some joy to you.

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Permalink Reply by Patricia J. Jones on October 5, 2011 at 4:06pm

My daughter is getting married a week from Saturday.  I'm hoping I will make it through the day without the ugly cry.  My husband won't be there to walk her down the aisle.  Her older brother will do the honor. 

About my wedding ring......one of the hardest things I have had to deal with is the fact that I am not married anymore.  I am single, widowed.  It's a terrible word widow / widower. 

I decided to give my almost 2 carat diamond to my daughter for her engagement ring.  It's the right thing to do.  Originally  the stone belonged to my mother-in-law.  My husband had it put into a new setting for our 25th wedding anniversary.   The stone will stay in the family.  And life goes on......

My future son-in-law had my husband's birthstone put into my old setting.  There was originally a smaller diamond on each side of the large stone.  I will continue to wear the ring with his birthstone in the center, two smaller diamonds on each side, he and me for eternity.

 

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Permalink Reply by Loon on October 15, 2011 at 11:07pm

I have just started reading discussions and this particular one jumped out at me. 

 

I was considering getting that book. I still may pick it up because I am quite interested in what is written. On the matter of Wedding ring vs No Wedding ring this is how I feel for myself: I am in agreement with you, Patricia. I am still married to my husband whether he's physically still with me or not. My ring is one of two pieces of jewelry I will never remove.

 

I don't think poorly of anyone who removes their wedding band.

 

I don't think poorly of those who have found love again. I think that's wonderful if they can give themselves fully to another person after the loss of a love from death. I could never see myself being able to fully give myself to anyone else.

 

The way I think of it, for myself is if my husband were still alive, I wouldn't ever have my ring off, nor look for anyone else to be with and I'm still following that example even in his unfortunate death.

 

In addition: I think that is beautiful what you're doing for your daughters ring and still keeping your ring with his birthstone. That is a beautiful tribute, Patricia!

 

Your daughter will also love to have a part of him and your love together for her ring :)

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