Not looking forward to Christmas
It's been a long time since I've posted a Blog on here but I am not looking forward to Christmas I am notBecause the people should be here it's no longer hereSee More
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Why should I continue
I have struggled with depression and anxiety for pretty much 11 years starting at the age of 7. My dad had to leave my life at age 7 because of abuse and that's when I started to notice my depression. I finally understood what had happened to me and that it was not right. Growing up my mom was not really in my life. She was there physically but I wasn't her main concern. Let's just say she isn't a great mother partially because she had me at the age of 19. My grandma and grandpa were basically my mom and dad. My grandma taught me everything I know and my grandpa would play games with me when I was young and take me with him where ever he would go. 10 months ago my grandpa had a stroke. He had severe brain damage and fell into a coma. The doctors said he had no chance of waking up. 2 months later my grandma decided that my grandpa would not want to be in a coma for the rest of his life and she decided it was time to take him off life support. 8 months ago my grandpa passed away. My only father figure passed away. 1 month ago my grandma fell into a diabetic coma and the doctors said she had a 0% chance of waking up. When my grandpa passed away my grandma said if the same circumstance happened to her and she fell into a coma she would want us to take her off life support also. So 2 weeks ago my mother and aunt decided to take her off life support. She passed away 6 days ago. I feel like the floor beneath me has been pulled from under my feet. My whole world has been taken away from me. I am so lost in life. All I want to do is sleep and not leave my room. But finishing the last 2 months of high school and enrolling in college has to be done. Im falling behind in my classes. I've stopped looking for work. I just want to fully give up. My grandparents were my entire life. And now they're gone and I have no idea how to continue life like everything is normal. I've bottled up my emotions and made myself heartless because I just don't want to accept the fact that they're both gone so soon. I just don't know if I can continue on like this or even I should even bother. If you took the time to read this, thank you.
Tags: loss
Views: 289
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Dennis C. on
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Melanie,
I am so very sorry for all of the heartache and loss. The Bible does indeed say that death is an enemy. It causes so much ache. And the pain in our hearts just can't be put into words. It feels like it will never go away, or feel better.
What helps me get through this is what the Bible promises about the future. It tells us that those that we have lost in death will LIVE AGAIN.
Isa 26:19 “Your dead will live. My corpses will rise up. Awake and shout joyfully, You residents in the dust! For your dew is as the dew of the morning, And the earth will let those powerless in death come to life.
There are actually 8 resurrections in the Bible. When we read them we see family reunited with their dead loved one. How encouraging.
How does this help? Well, it won't take your pain away, but it does give you HOPE, which helps you move forward.
The Bible gives us wonderful hope for the future. When we Learn what the future really is then we can have purpose. This will help us get through each day.
If there is anything more that I can say to help you get through your terrible loss please ask.
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Permalink Reply by BillT on
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Melanie,
my heart goes out to you. You have endured so much. The pain of your loss is impossible to imagine. Thank you for posting here. If you have not done so, I encourage you to seek help from a professional in your area. You have a lot to deal with, and you will benefit from talking to someone face to face. In the meantime, please post here as often as you desire. You are amongst friends who share the deep grief of great loss.
Prayers to you, Melanie
BillT
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Melanie,
I am truly sorry for your loss and all of the things you've went through. No words can really describe the pain that we all feel of losing someone we loved so much.
Please stay strong and you are not alone in this battle because as you are on here; we are all here for you in supporting you and comfort each other through these hard times.
If anytime you feel like you need someone to let it all out, feel free to leave a message and we will reply back or you can send me a personal message and I will do my best to be there and listen.
Hollowed,
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I know how you feel, Melanie. I'm much older than you, but have recently lost two people who were all the world to me. Half (or more) of my reality is completely ripped away and my life has a huge gaping hole in its fabric. It feels so surreal to be stuck here in the exact same world, where everything goes on as before, except two of the most important people in my life are gone. Even their possessions and objects are left behind, but they disappeared into thin air. I can't wrap my head around it. It's very surreal and I get continuous panic attacks over it. Life has lost all it's meaning for me. Years ago, when I was much younger, I lost my beloved grandfather who was also a father to me (and who I lived with), since my owner father died around my birth. I went through quite a long and intense period of nightmarish pain, but - I think because of the resilience of youth - somehow got through it and lived to be happy until now. I hope you somehow find the way. None of on this site know where we are going to end up, emotionally, we can only take one step at a time through the darkness not even knowing where it will lead us. It's so, so hard, but just know that you are not alone on this ever-so-lonely path we are forced to tread right now.
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The pain of losing our loved ones is unbearable. Everything seems surreal and we can't seems to understand, if not accept, what has happened. I lost my wife at the age of 24. She was everything to me. Everything has turned upside down for me. Every single day I wonder, why is life (my life) as to be this way--where is my wife (still can't accept and wrap my head around her departure)--then I stopped and realized, I am in searching for help, for a new life that I never wanted-for a life that my wife is no longer here with me. I missed her so much. :(
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