Losing it?

Not sure how to explain the feeling, I have to keep busy, I can't stop to think.  When I do stop, I am a mess.  I start to feel guilty because I keep hearing I can't keep getting like this, I have to be strong and keep going for my girls.  But it's taking all I have in me to keep me functioning from minute to minute.  My mom is gone, she's been with me since day one and now it almost going to be 3 months since she's gone and it's getting worse each day.  I struggle to get through each day to get to the next-really for no particular reason at all.  Just to get done what needs to be done. I've caught myself thinking that if I had known that losing a mom would be this painful, I would not have had children, so I could spare them the pain one day of losing their mom. I think I'm losing it.

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Permalink Reply by renee collier on January 29, 2013 at 1:50am

Hello Margarita,

I know how you feel.  This grief process can make you feel  like you are losing it.  But the verdict is in and we are not.  I keep telling myself... this is normal feelings.  (so they say)  Keeping busy does distract from the feelings.  I have gone through that stage and I am sure I will go through it again, since this is a up and down roller coaster ride. One that I would love to get off of.   But right now I am in the I don't want to do anything. I want to say in bed and think about my fiance.  He passed (onto the next life) on April 27th 2012.  I found him dead on his yacht.  

This is a great site to come to, to confirm we are not losing it.  All we can do is take it one day at a time.

Sending hugs

Permalink Reply by Margarita on January 30, 2013 at 7:41am

Thank you Renee,I guess it's good to know that things change from here.  I still feel miserable and today really stink, as did yesterday etc.

I really dont feel like doing anything, but I know my mom would get mad at me if I just didn't.  I have so much that needs to be done for the girls and I have to force myself to do right by them.

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