Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
7 weeks ago i lost my bestfriend soulmate and fiancee he was only 49 years old He was a funny loving man
Been with him for about 3 years we fit together
Life wasnt easy but we stuck with each other
The night before he died i came home from work and told him that finally things were starting to turn around
We were trying to buy a dairy and there was a light at the end of the tunnel our plan was to buy our farm and then marry we were excited about our future
His work mates called saying he had an accident and was confused and meet at the hospital. i thought he must have had concussion, i waited at the hospital, he didnt even make 5 minutes in the ambulance it worked out accident was from him having massive heart attack we didnt know he was sick, i never got to say goodbye
He is sending me signs that he is around which is nice but i just want things to be as they were. i miss him 24/7
I am so lost and half the time i dont want to be alive which i know is selfish as i have my 2 kids who i love dearly
Am being told that i have to start moving on with life, and should go back to work i work on a dairy, that was our quality time, our common interest and our dream, not sure if i can
What do people mean when they say he is in a better place and happy
He was in a good place and happy when we were together
How do they think it will make me feel better i am having trouble picking up the pieces to keep going with my life
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and yes i will let you know if it happens
hi tildyc, i have had a lot happen in the last 7 weeks, and my family also. my bro was also a skeptic and one of my mates also. so when my bro was finding a song for mikes funeral he youtubed it , went off the page and the song continued to play, it was like mike was saying," see we do hang around" mike and my bro always had discussions about it and both were very passionate about their beliefs. and when my friend came to visit my screen door opened in front of him, the door is a very tight fit. mike seems to like doors, this has happened to different doors about half a dozen times around my son and i. my daughter was a little put out that mike hadnt visited her, i said perhaps you are just not seeing it, then we were on the phone the other day and she said " mum, this bloody front door keeps opening, and last night my bedroom door kept opening to the point i had to lock it." i smiled and said to her how long has this been happening, she said a month, i said to her thats mike trying to tell you that he is around, she said " mike will you PLEASE stop opening my doors" they havent opened since.
my 10yr old son was watching the simpsons one day and the channel changed to the wrestling, mike loved the wrestling, and then came home from school the other day and told me mike went to school with him, they have silent reading after lunch and his book was the only one on a desk and it was opened to the page he was up to.
something i forgot earlier, mum told mike she lost seeds for her garden before he passed away, after mike past they turned up sitting on top of the microwave.
my sister got a random book from her book shelf to read, she said it was about a girl named maddy williams that died and mentioned the dash reguarly. mike was michael williams and the dash poem was read at his funeral.
there has been alot happening i have forgotten to mention some of it, the song that continued to play was mexican girl by smokie, my son and mike used to sing it together on karaoke, that was the only thing my son wanted to do for the funeral was to play that song, well anyway the day it continued to play, mikes brother on the other side of australia had been singing it all day and a friend of ours had woken at 2 am and uploaded it on facebook, all without the other people knowing.
then it comes to me, the first thing was my alarm went off without being set at 7:48am, about the time i recieved the call, then i was listening to "our song" and i had 2 wafts of cigarette smoke pass my nose, the tv changed channel and played the song " im still in love with you" by dragon a kiwi/aussie band, mike is kiwi , i am aussie. i feel his arms around me at times, went to bed the other night and my lips and hand was tingling, we used to fall asleep holing hands. i tiled my kitchen, heard the offcuts scraping together for no reason, i said to him so you like the tiles, the scraping stopped. i lost my engagement ring and asked for his help to find it, i went straight to it and it was in a weird spot, i got lost driving and asked for his help 2 minutes later i came across a common sign. i couldnt sleep so got up to make a coffee and heard a male voice come from the kitchen table, but couldnt work out what it said. something i forgot earlier also was that i was feeding his pigs and had to lift a 20kg bag above my head to do this, i tried after i had dragged it over to their pen and i failed, felt as thou i had no hope. i said "mike a little help here...." i dont know how i did it, cant really remember but i got the 20kg up over my head and tipped the contents into the pig pen. his photo beside my bed glows in the dark and something else i forgot was i have seen , something, out the corner of my eye 3 times, once from the passenger side of the car, i mostly drove, after taking my son to school, something in the corner of the lounge and last night something went past the kitchen door , everytime i look up it disappears. oh and my daughter got in trouble so my bro and i went to help her and i had the most amazing calm pass through my body. oh and also on the tv note i was trying to watch my program and it kept stopping i had to keep resetting it! it happened half a dozen times or so and then just kept going, mike had quite a sense of humour..... and then a few nights ago noone was touching the remote and the information about my program came up on the screen by itself and stayed up for ages. and on the evening of my sons birthday we were walking past my kitchen window, my mum me and sis, i stopped i could see his sillouette, i stood there looking at it but didnt say anything to anyone, mum came and had a look and said omg its mike, mike had a slightly dropped shoulder from a motorbike accident so he has a very unique body shape, like everyone i guess. i talk to mike out loud daily, and things arent happening constantly a few thing happen then it all goes quiet for a while, but it comforts me on the days when he shows he is around.what have you witnessed?
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