Tom

Male

Duluth, MN

United States

Profile Information:

About Me:
I am 56 yrs old. I am a father of four and grandfather of 4 also. I like woodworking, camping and hiking.
About my Loss:
I lost my wife of 38 yrs in late October. We were high school sweethearts and best friends. My wife was first diagnosed with Malignant Melanoma in 1994. She beat 2 reoccurrences over the years, but succumbed to it this time when it attacked her liver. I am struggling with the "bad days". The rest of the world has returned to "normal" but I'm not there. I feel that my friends might be getting tired of listening to me, and I don't want to burden my children too much. I am afraid that if they are having a better day, my venting will bring them down. I still need to talk about, but am losing my listeners.
Are You a Service Provider? If Yes, please tell us about your service.
I am a Medical Lab Technician - unrelated to this though.

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  • Roslyn

    Hi Tom

    My husband passed away from his cancer which had spread to his liver on November 5th this year. I do understand what you are saying about the world moving on, when your world has come to a complete halt.   

    Most of my friends understand as best as they can, but unless you lose the love of your life, you will never truly "get it" and the huge impact it has on your life.  I also end up keeping most of my thoughts to myself now, as while others move on from his passing, I'm the one who seems unable to at present.  

    You take care and I have found also as I'm only a recent member here too, that writing those feelings down does help.

    Ros

    Dec 10, 2021

  • Roslyn

    Tom

    I understand that cliches from those who mean well simply don't work.  Someone once said to me before my husbands funeral, "now your a widow you must move on."  I was stunned.  But a counsellor did say, "you will never got over this, but you will get through it."  Now that did make sense and I often think of that.

    Writing a daily journal expressing your feelings on paper helps me, maybe you could consider doing something like that?

    I find the mornings worse than the nights.  I wake up and realise I'm all alone and the loneliness sets in all over again.  Thankfully I live on acreage and when I work long, hard hours it helps to keep me calm.

    Grief is certainly a personal journey and what suits one doesn't always suit all. I wish you well Tom on your journey ...... 

    Ros

    Dec 11, 2021

  • Charles McGrath

    Hello ,

    How is everything with you, my name is Charles McGrath,I picked interest on you after going through your short profile and deemed it necessary to write you immediately. I have something very vital to disclose to you, but I found it difficult to express myself here, since it's a public site. Could you please get back to me on:(charles_mcgrath81@yahoo.com) for the full details.

    Have a nice day
    Charles McGrath.

    Apr 14