Barbra Ingrassia Fairman

Female

Hurleyville, NY

United States

Profile Information:

About Me:
I'm 44, married with a beautiful, spoiled 4 year old daughter. I have a pretty good marriage and life. I have a good job as a secratary for a nursing home. My husband also has a good job where he recently got a promotion and I am currently living in the home of my brother that has passed away.
About my Loss:
My brother died almost 11 months ago from glioblastoma. He was in NYU, being treated by so called genusis.I put my life on hold and made the hospital my new home(a year ago that was my life).They said he had 6 months maybe 8. He only had 3. The dr's messed up and I have to live with this. I'm having a moment
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  • Arielle

    Hi Barbra. I'm so glad you reached out. I know there is no way I can make it through this alone.

    Apr 29, 2011

  • Arielle

    Hi Barbra. Just saw your post. So simple but so true. I feel exactly the same way. It's so much better when I just let myself live with a level of disbelief. My brain doesn't want to accept it and I'm not going to force it.
    I moved into a new apartment yesterday and it made me so sad because my brother would have been so excited and enthusiastic, saying how "awesome" everything is.
    But I also thought of his laugh the other day and actually smiled thinking of it, without even realizing. It was the first time I thought of something like that without tears in my eyes.
    Therapy and medication really help!

    Jun 4, 2011

  • Sue Waxman

    Hi Barbara,

    I am saddened by your loss. I lost my mother 2 weeks ago to cancer. She went so quickly. I am feeling we all comfort each other on this site and I am very much here for you as much as you need me to be. I have 2 sisters who don't want anything to do with me. They say they can't give me what I need?????? Talk about dysfunction. You were blessed with the love of your brother. Mom was all I had left. She was a gentle and lovely person who I adored. I refuse to allow myself to be angry because she is no longer suffering. But I am angry that she destroyed her body by smoking cigarettes. She quit 20 years ago and it came back and ravaged her little body. I know you, me and all of the others on the site have a gigantic hole in our hearts. Nothing can replace it. I just find a reason to make it through each day that brings me closer to my departure from this planet. I have my faith that I will be with Mother again. Otherwise ....what is it all about? Huggs Sue

    Jul 14, 2011