I lost my 22 year old son, my baby, on May 2 of this year...I have never seen your posts or I would have answered before...my son may have died of an aortic aneurism, or possibly apnea ...the ER doctor wasn't sure....I am so haunted by his death because he was severely disabled and couldn't have helped himself, especially if he wasn't getting enough air for some reason...I'm having a terrible time with this...mostly I comment in the sudden loss group or the missing my son or daughter group...maybe if you commented in one of those groups you would get more replies...anyway I'm so sad for you....I know how painful and horrible your loss is...I feel like I'm losing my mind over the loss of my son...nobody I know wants to talk about it...its as if they think its all over with and nothing can change anything so I should just forget about it and move on....how insane is that?

I am so sad for you. Why do such things happen?

I also get angry with time passing...and I get angry when I feel like people want me to stop talking about my son...not just his death, but about him at ALL...I don't EVER want to stop talking about him, thinking about him, trying to feel his presence in some way...ANY way ..that doesn't go against the will of God...but since I do NOT understand the will of God...never have, and NOW still more...I can only guess what is and isn't 'acceptable' to Him...I have had the feeling that my son has tried to comfort us through birds and animals ...they keep popping up in unusual places and doing unusual things...shy birds right out in the open, a deer looking straight at us while we were playing music and apparently listening to us for awhile without leaving...an owl that I later found out was "laughing" outside our mountain house one night, a mama and baby dolphin 'waving' at us the last day Brandon was in the sea with us, and then a dolphin ALONE sadly lifting her fin to us a few days after he died...two scarlet tanagers on the ground right near our front door...taking turns eating and watching out for the other...and in over 40 years we have never seen any of them on the ground...only really high up in the trees and then only maybe three times...an indigo bunting flying across the road many times in the past especially when we were contemplating whether or not we should adopt Brandon with all his needs...could we do it?....we got him at 4 and he lived to 22...but that was just not long ENOUGH for me...and just lately the indigo bunting my husband saw after not seeing ANY for years....maybe I'm crazy but I think my son is trying to tell us he is happy and watching us....or maybe God is doing it for him...I truly pray this is true...we miss him SOOOOO much...ALL the time...