It definitely is NOT easy. What kept me pushing forward was that I wanted Bill to look down on me with pride that I was trying to keep things going. In some ways, I was lucky. We had just revised wills literally 2 weeks before he died...so the legalities were all in place. I had someone who helped with the paperwork and contacting insurances, etc. My adult children still live with me and so I have that support...But I miss Bill everyday and want to rant at the cruelty of having him taken from me...I wasn't done with him yet!!!! I spent the first year just being angry...why take him when there are so many older people(he was 57) and so many evil people?????
But, I plod on...I must be healing a little because I'm starting to feel bored, listless. I need to find SOMETHING to focus on to fill the void...

Looks like you're having problems sleeping. Me too. I will take something a couple of times a week to make sure I get some sleep. As for the fishing poles. I will hold onto them. I might not know how to change lures or hook a worm, but I can do minnows...I am hoping my son gets the boat working this summer so that we can use it...I'm sorry that you've had additional heartache. In the year during which Bill was diagnosed and eventually died I hit 10 funerals. It seemed to all come at once. A couple of husbands, a couple of moms, a daughter, a cousin...after a while I was telling friends they should leave me alone, I felt like death was stalking me....But, I push on and so will you.