Hi Barbara

I'm so sorry for your loss.  Not only the cancer, but the sudden loss of your husband.  I too have a new grandchild however, it's my 4th and they are all under 5.  When the last one was born 3 months ago, i felt the same as you were explaining with that situation.  My oldest daughter died one year ago, 12/12/10 and she left a 3 year old son.  Although we did find out after many doctor appointments, tests and other diagnosis that she had cancer, they told us the odds of her making it were extremely high.  That is when 6 months later another scan and blood test showed that it had spread and that she only had a little time left.  It was like the air had been let out of the balloon and all hope vanished.   I hope your pain and healing get easier each day and that you can reflect on the wonderful memories you have of your husband.  

Hugs to you

BeccA

Dear Barbara,

Thank you so much for writing.  Plese don't feel guilty about not being beside your husband.  My goodness, how can we know!  I was so glad to be with Mike, but truly, when we said our last goodbyes the night before, there was absolutely no indication that we would never speak again.  I have a friend who is dying of cancer, and he and her husband have spoken about her death.....very difficult conversations.  Mike and I never had those words.  We believed he would get through it and we would be married and go on with a good life together.  My heart goes out to you so much.  Please don't beat yourself up.  There are just so many things we can think of that we should have done better, and Barbara, if there's anything I'm so aware of right now is that we're just human!  What else can we do, but be human and keep moving one step ahead of the other.  Take care, okay.  Ruth

Dear Barbara,

I work in animal rescue. You are completely right on about dogs. - Sue