Samantha Daniels

Female

United States

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About Me:

I'm a 20 year old Pre-Med student.

About my Loss:

I just loss my dad last month. He died from a very, very extreme heart attack. It took him instantly, the paramedics said he didn't have a chance. It was an absolute shock. He was taken so sudden. My mom found him at home on Thursday, Jan. 12th in our basement sitting in a chair. It looked like he was asleep. I almost lost my dad to a heart attack when I was a little girl, so I always knew he would have trouble with his heart. My dad, like most men, refused to go to the doctor for ANYTHING, and I had a hunch around Christmas that it was happening again. I begged him, we all did, to go to the doctor. He would always say he was fine. December came, and he kept hinting at things by saying something like "this is here if anything ever happens to me, and the key is here for this if something happens" or "this is what I want to be done when I die..." we just thought he was joking around, but after his death we put the pieces together. We are pretty sure he knew he was getting sick again, and he was okay with that. If my dad would've survived and been holed up in the hospital, that would've been dying to him. So I almost find comfort in that he died the way he wanted, instantly and without pain. I am a Daddy's girl, and I'm trying to figure out how to continue on with my life without him. The hardest part is seeing my mother go through this. She has Post-Traumatic Stress disorder from finding him and everything that happened afterwards (the 911 call, the paramedics, etc) and I think that has been distracting me from dealing with my actual emotions about losing my Dad. I just want to find happiness again and not feel guilty about it.

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