Lynda I am so sorry for your loss.  There are no magic words to heal your pain.  Just gentle thoughts that you will find a way to take care of you now.  Cancer is not an easy thing.  Please dont blame yourself for not being there at the ultimate end.  Your mom knows how much you loved her and she, Im sure, loves you enough to have wanted you to get that rest you were after.  She might have even chosen to go while you were gone to spare you that pain. 

lynda,i am so so sorry for your loss.  i know you're tired of hearing this cuz i sure was.  my mom went to heaven on feb 22 2012.  altho she was 93, i miss her with my entire being.  the world is not the same. 

Lynda, I'm so sorry it has taken so long to respond to your friend request, which I just accepted.  I haven't been on much since about mid-summer.  I'm so sorry.  My husband was sick most of the summer and taking care of him so soon after having taken care of my dad ran me down to where I started having health issues too.  I think I'm going to be able to start getting on more often very soon.