I know it is so hard but you have to try to build a new life now...and it is awful...but you can take him with you hon... you wont be leaving him behind, ever.... it's ok to get up and live now..your husband would want that for you.. I dont know what you believe in and thats ok.. but if you happen to believe the soul goes on than you have to know that he is perfectly fine now....you will see him again... he wouldnt even been in your life in the first place if you werent ment to be together....try baby steps... do one tiny thing today that you havent been able to do since he has been gone.. just one small thing...it doesnt have to be huge. Try to write to him...and then in a few days read it then write back to yourself like you are him... what would he tell you?... then wait a day or two and read it... it works.

this sunday would be my sons 20th birthday... instead of sitting here crying I am going to have a party for his friends, we are going to bbq and eat his favorite foods and desserts... the guys are going to play basketball and we are going to swim too..then we are going to release black and red balloons for him...alot of my facebook friends that didnt even know him are cotting to wear red and black on sunday and it is making me feel so good because I know that he will be able to feel the love....they were his favorite colors....would something like this be possible for you to plan? the balloons arent symbolic of letting go for me they are more like sending love to him... I know he would love this party.