Hey Jon, oh it's a great name, he looks like a Connor, which is stupid of me to say, because I have never known anybody named Connor. Oh that is just the worst thing ever, how can that even happen.  You are in my thoughts. It was 11 months for me Sunday and I cried all day, some days are easier then others I guess but they all suck.  This is all so knew and sudden for you all, sending you some peace and hugs.

Hi there, it's really hard, I went back to work after 3 weeks but didn't work full days. I've worked at my job a long time so all around me is pix of him growing up, from birth to 18 years old. It's unbearable but I can't take them down, so I try not to look at them. It's so friggin hard.  It seemed to get a little easier around 6 months and then it got harder before 8 months.  I am consumed by what ifs on my end.  You didn't do anything wrong though, you don't have that aspect. I think you are probably a great job.  The grief site helps me a lot, you can talk about how you feel and find support here . I went to a counselor twice, she didn't help at all.  I think she wasn't the right one. You cry a lot and you just take it one day at a time.  In the first few months, I screamed, I threw things (lol) I cried in the car to and from work. I just feel broken. Coming up to the year is beyond difficult, I miss him so much.  Some days I think I can't go on but I do and you have your other kids to think about too, they need you and you need them. Take and give support to your family.  I have my boyfriend who has gone through 10 years of hell and stress and drama with me and I thank God for him. My ex doesn't want to talk about Randy and that is hard for me, we have to talk about him, you never want to let them go.  I think it's harder for you, because thiss is so tragic and sudden for you.  Ultimately we do share the same pain. I have a grief book that helps a little, i'll look up the title and send it to you.  I dreamed about your family last night, but you have to know that I have crazy weird dreams all the time.  It just shows that you have been on my mind a lot, some people you read their stories and you just go on. I've become best friends with a girl on here who also lost her son to heroin.  Maybe a grief group might help, I hear they do but again I haven't done one.  Just gong on along one minute and one day at a time, it's really all we can do.  Again..many many hugs coming your way.  Just hug your little ones a bit more and know they still need you. x0

Hey Jon, you have been on my mind.  How are you holding up? Stupid question I know... hugs