Julie M

Female

Saint Paul, MN

United States

Profile Information:

About Me:
Stay at home mom. I'm married and we have a sons.
About my Loss:
I lost my mom unexpectedly two and a half months ago. I spent two months after her death taking care of my father (needed 24/7 care). I was unusually strong and helpful and calm both prior to and after her death. I needed to be; for my sibling, my kids and their cousins, and most importantly, for my dad. When I finally came back home (I missed my husband and kids so very much), I was excited because I had so much to catch up on, and I was also excited to be with my husband and kids. However, the first day I woke up and got the kids ready for and dropped off at school, grief hit me like a tsunami. The hardest thing for me right now is not being able to pick up the phone and call her for advice, or to share a story with her. In addition, my dad has lots of health problems and my sibs and I have moved him into an assisted living facility so that he gets the care that he needs. My body/brain delayed the grieving process for me, and I don't know if this is making it harder or not. I was physically ill with a bad sinus infection shortly following my mom's death until late last week. I'm still just so fatigued and not feeling quite up to my normal self. I've let my housework and everything else get pretty out of control because I was away from home for so long, and because I was so sick for nearly a month after I got back. I think my husband and kids are becoming upset with me because I'm not yet back to my normally happy and capable self.

Comment Wall:

  • Lisa Green

    Julie, thank you for leaving your comment on my wall. I can't tell you how much I needed to connect with someone who understands this horrible lonely thing we are living with. Waves of grief describe me very well. Out of nowhere for reason at all I will bust out in tears that I cannot control. I went camping with my husband, his gang and my son this past Memorial Day and had a really good time then late Summer day evening I was sitting in a lawn chair and watching a mom and her toddler a d I completely fell apart thinking about the circle of life a d how quickly life passes us by. It's hard to talk to my can't about it. I want tl share with my sister and ask her about her feelings but she can't talk about it. She gets a lite mad at me a d that's hard too because she is the closest person to mom I have left.I miss everything about mom and I'm struggling with the finality of it all now. Thank you for reaching out to me. I'm glad you're here. This site is wonderful

    Jun 3, 2016