I lost my first and third grandchild due to problems they suffered in the womb... neither survived until birth... I know that the grief over losing these precious babies is so intense and I wasn't even their mother... just their nana... so I hope you have been able to connect with others who can help you .. the group I have been a part of since my youngest son Brandon suddenly died in 2013 is called Missing My Son or Daughter... please come join us... I don't post there as often as I did at first but when Brandon first died I was in here all the time and met some wonderful people who just surrounded me with loving help... I didn't know about this site when my granddaughers died.. I wish I had known... love to you..