Stephen,

I am so sorry.  The words that we say will hardly compensate for your loss and 53 years is a very long time and now to be alone is heartbreaking.  This website can be more than helpful if for no other reason it brings together people whose hearts are also breaking (or broken).  For me it helps to know I am not crazy for feeling the way I do.  And as much as it helps I still feel alone.  

Try to stick with this site and write and cry as much as you need to (because you will need to.)  Nothing will ever be as it was and you will take whatever time you need to to go through the emotions of this so don't let anyone tell you any different.  If you can find someone who will listen (other than us of course) try to do that.  You will need it along this journey.   Many people will not understand the pain.  But we do.  And someone who you know well, might also. 

Take baby steps.  Sometimes you will get through a whole hour and others it will barely be five minutes.  Do what you can, when you can. There are millions of self help books and other sites and if you are anything like me you will want to find an answer and will be looking everywhere for it.  The answer lies within.  It is only as much as you can do of the moment.

You have been catapulted into a different universe now.   You only will try to participate in the old one but you no longer "live" there.  I constantly have to try and tell myself my lover is still with me and as hard as that is it is all I've got.  Other than that I just manage the days.

Take care.  Try to rest if you can't sleep and hydrate as your body depends on water. Know we all care.  I know I do. 

morgan