Cydney, I am very sorry for your loss,I lost my husband to cancer Nov. 2014. I, too, was a nurse. Sometimes I think it's tougher on us because are entire being is aimed at saving...I know I feel I screwed up because I couldn't save him. I still second guess those months. Doesn't matter, end result is the same...he's gone and I'm here trying to muddle thru life without him. I have finally gotten to where I don't feel like I have a gaping hole in my chest...Good luck on your new journey. Feel free to rant and rave here. We get it.