Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Patricia Hoffman
Female
Edison, NJ
United States
Profile Information:
- About Me:
- I am a 51 year old married mother of 3 and grandmother of 3. I suffer from Panic Disorder/OCD, & Clinical depression. I am not doing well at all and feel I cant make it through this, like I am going to wind up in an institution or go crazy, I cant look at her pictures, her playroom, or eat because she loved to eat so much.
- About my Loss:
- Last week my 3 year old Grabndaughter Olivia had an astham attack at our house on our watch, it was her first attack, but she has alwaysbeena sickly child, they could never really find out what was wrong with her. she was in the hospital for a few things, she needed thumb surgery, something was wrong with her eye, but ahs was always sucha a happy little girl, regardless of having to take meds masks, etc, 2 times per day. She was the love of my life, along with my other 2 grandchildren here older brother Dylan, and her cousin Michaels 11 months. She was fine that night she stood with us, and then in the morning she couldnt breath, but she never stopped, the 911 got here in 6 minutes, and by then, she stopped breathing and they had to intubate her in the ambulance, after many tests they realized her brain had been deprived of oxygen, and her brain cells started to die, then they did am MRI and realized the worse was happening. enentually, the machine was breathing for her totally, and they turned if off when she was declared brain dead.
Bern
Hi Patricia,
I loss my son 20yrs, 6mths ago.. The panic attach are like what I experience. I am scared of the unknown. I am trying to just survive everyday. Losing a child is hard and unreal. Sometimes I can not physical comfort to my grandchildren...because it hurts so bad. But, I hold them anyway. So, be there for yourself, husband and children.
Apr 15, 2013
anna l.
Hi Patricia,
My losses are very different from yours but we all share the same feelings of what if, if only, guilt, horror, anger, anxiety, etc. I never had panic attacks until my husband died and then they were a terrible part of my every day life. You have my sympathy for all you are going through. The way I handled my panic attacks was to walk, hard, fast, and as long as needed until my brain and heart calmed down. I would head out onto our street day or night, sometimes in my pjs and jacket and walk up and down up and down up and down. It was the ONLY thing that worked for me. Now I have some other strategies but in the early days it worked and why mess with what works. I hope you find something that works for you. Please know that many people here can relate to what you are going through. Sending hugs of understanding and care.
Anna
Apr 15, 2013
Angela Scott
The way you was feeling can't eat can't
Sleep didn't wanna play with my 2
Granddaughters i lost my 20 year old son in February and this has been the worst for me i wanted to kill myself that pain it me som hard and i am still sad every day but it gets better with time i still don't no how to handle it but i deal with but but
Patrica i am so sorry for you're lost i feel
You're pain i do my granddaughter is 3 years old i
No how i will feel i hope you feel better i
Do because life is to short to waste feel better love ya Angela Scott
Feel better.
Apr 17, 2013
Dennis C.
I am so sorry for your loss.
I have a dear friend who experienced something very similar. Her granddaughter died in her arms from an asthma attack. Of course she was, and continues to be devastated.
I do know that what helps her is to focus on the hope she has for the future. She believes that she will be reunited with her granddaughter. She does therapeutic things like keeping a journal so that when they meet again she will give the journal to her. We must fight back by having HOPE. We already feel helpless, we must, MUST not feel hopeless as well.
Apr 19, 2013
Dennis C.
http://www.onlinegriefsupport.com/forum/topics/when-someone-you-lov...
Please follow the link you find there to a brochure on grieving etc.
Apr 19, 2013
Dennis C.
But when all is said and done, it is ok to grieve, but you also need to develop HOPE.
Here is a scripture that describes a resurrection of a twelve year old
* Mark 5:41,42 — And, taking the hand of the young child, he said to her: “Tal′i·tha cu′mi,” which, translated, means: “Maiden, I say to you, Get up!” 42 And immediately the maiden rose and began walking, for she was twelve years old. And at once they were beside themselves with great ecstasy. *
Notice that the family "they were beside themselves with great ecstasy"
One day we will be reunited with our loved ones. I know that doesn't take the pain away, but it does give us HOPE!
Apr 19, 2013
theresa ouellette (wells)
thanks for the chat i hope you things get better hugs to you
May 7, 2013
Connie K
Hi Patricia
My name is Connie and I lost my only son in a tragic car accident 5 months ago. He was seventeem. I am so sorry for your horrible loss. I can ralte to the overwhelming feeling of grief consuming your while being. I sometimes feel I am going to go instantly insane when that nightmare reality seeps in. It helps me to read meditations from others who are making their way through life with this loss. Being outside and hiking help me. I know it is hard and I just wanted to send you a cyber hug. Try to have faith that your grand daughter is still alive in spirit and is with you and help you get through things when you just don't know how you will. This is the only way I survive.Energy never dies it just changes form. And the love you shared with her will always be there and never change.
May 10, 2013
Dennis C.
Grandchildren are such a wonderful gift.
If there is anything that we can do to comfort you, please let us know.
May 17, 2013
Bonnie Jacobs
I want to thank you all for your warmth and comments. At a time like this you can't have too many friends and I think of you all as my friends.
May 22, 2013
Connie K
I Am so sorry to hear about the loss of your Mom. It must be so hard to deal with all of this grief. please a know you are not alone and we are all sending prayers.
Jun 4, 2013