Vivian, I'm sorry for your loss.  This group knows the pain you are going through.  You said you are alone in your grief and I can understand that feeling too.  I often feel like I am alone.  You have to realize that others feel uncomfortable about this.  They tend to draw away.  It's all normal according to what I have read and see in comments from other grieving parents.  This is when you find out who really cares I guess.  One of my closest friends for 32 years use to call me almost every day until my son left.  I saw her once after that and have never heard from her again, so nothing surprises me anymore.  Our lives are forever changed.  We now have to find a new normal, but you are not alone here.  We are here for you.  

Dear Vivian -  I'm so very sorry to hear about your son.  Here on this site you will feel comfortable in sharing what is on your mind as you go through this terrible grieving period.  You surely are still in shock at the unexpected death of your dear son.  Believe me when I say that we do know how your are feeling and each of us are going thru similar experiences.  You have friends here.  Hugggs to you.  Take care of yourself.