Not much to tell. I am an organic farmer by trade, lover of all nature, environmental activist and take my stewardship of Mother Earth pretty seriously. That is one of the bonds that I shared with my husband. We lived, worked, played, loved and shared every day, side by side. I am completely lost without him, even though I know that I am a strong person in my own right. This feeling of total helplessness is foreign to me and I am not coping well at all.
I'd like to correspond with anyone on a personal basis but for some reason my email doesn't work from this site all the time so here is an alternative. piratewench52@gmail.com Maybe that one will be okay.
About my Loss:
I recently lost my husband to renal cancer. I don't even know what to say at this point about it all, except that I never thought I could feel this empty or miss anyone this much. It has only been three weeks but I am already feeling like I need to reach out to others, in the hopes of making some sense out of this tragedy in my life.
Hi Suzanne B.
I have not been on line as I just returned to work God, this is horrible. You lost Dan just a few weeks before I lost my George.
God, this pain is something I have never felt before in my life. I can't hate anyone this much to wish this kind of pain on them.
I cry-just start to cry. I played the message machine in our room and George's voice was on the machine. I felt my heart break and I felt so ill. I wanted so much to call him-and I knew I couldn't. He is gone and I am all alone.
Like I posted before-I cry doing every day chores. I cry in the grocery store,driving in the car to work. I can hear him telling me to have a good day or call him during the day if I need anything-but he is not there saying it. It is all a memory. Oh how I wish I had a re-do for one week-just one week.
People try to be kind-I know that. But all the sorrys in the world does not make me feel better. I feel like I am at the bottom of a deep, black hole looking up.
My heart broke April 3rd-My life as I knew it died on that date. I was no longer a wife-no longer a partner. I really don't know what my life is or who I am now.
All I can do is pray-Just so I have someone to speak with and to get the strength to make it another day.
I am here for you to share your feelings too Suzanne.
Take care Julie Conway
Hi Suzanne B,
I am so sorry for your loss. Cancer is just a horrible diesease. I too am trying to reach out to others and fight back in some way. I recently raised $750 for our local Relay for Life cancer walk. I am hoping that in some small way I can stop someone else from going through what our family has been through. It is nice to connect with you. I am not coping so well either, so feel free to cry/vent to me anytime! I am in the same boat and its soooooo painful.
Thank u for your comment and compliment my daughter is the light of my life and I am always going to miss and love her dearly yes I'm extremely proud of my Angel!
HI, Suzanne,
I read your post and came to your page to get your email address, but didn't find it. Not used to this site yet. Mine is jelliemae@gmail.com if you want to write.
Sue
julie conway
I have not been on line as I just returned to work God, this is horrible. You lost Dan just a few weeks before I lost my George.
God, this pain is something I have never felt before in my life. I can't hate anyone this much to wish this kind of pain on them.
I cry-just start to cry. I played the message machine in our room and George's voice was on the machine. I felt my heart break and I felt so ill. I wanted so much to call him-and I knew I couldn't. He is gone and I am all alone.
Like I posted before-I cry doing every day chores. I cry in the grocery store,driving in the car to work. I can hear him telling me to have a good day or call him during the day if I need anything-but he is not there saying it. It is all a memory. Oh how I wish I had a re-do for one week-just one week.
People try to be kind-I know that. But all the sorrys in the world does not make me feel better. I feel like I am at the bottom of a deep, black hole looking up.
My heart broke April 3rd-My life as I knew it died on that date. I was no longer a wife-no longer a partner. I really don't know what my life is or who I am now.
All I can do is pray-Just so I have someone to speak with and to get the strength to make it another day.
I am here for you to share your feelings too Suzanne.
Take care Julie Conway
Apr 24, 2010
Kirstine Rushing
I am so sorry for your loss. Cancer is just a horrible diesease. I too am trying to reach out to others and fight back in some way. I recently raised $750 for our local Relay for Life cancer walk. I am hoping that in some small way I can stop someone else from going through what our family has been through. It is nice to connect with you. I am not coping so well either, so feel free to cry/vent to me anytime! I am in the same boat and its soooooo painful.
Apr 24, 2010
Shelly
Apr 25, 2010
Sue Swinehart
I read your post and came to your page to get your email address, but didn't find it. Not used to this site yet. Mine is jelliemae@gmail.com if you want to write.
Sue
May 1, 2010