Denise, I'm sorry your "friend" was insensitive.  My daddy was 84 yrs old; had been on dialysis 14 yrs; lost a kidney to cancer; and other problems.  He died from sepsis infection following surgery for bladder cancer.  Did I know he was declining?  Yes.  Did it make the loss of the Rock of our family any easier?  Absolutely not.  My brother was 58 when he died from a seizure 8 weeks before Daddy.  We had no idea he was going to die.  The only thing that made his death more difficult was that I didn't get to say good-bye.  I worked with survivors and families of the OKC Murrah Building bombing in 1995.  I learned there is no right or wrong way to grieve and there's not a time limit.  So, my heart goes out to you as you remember the day you dad went to heaven. 

jb:  I agree about father's day.  I wish I could just hide.

Monique and gramaokie thank you for the kind words.  My Dad passed from Cirrhosis, we do not know from where.  I spent 8 years as a ward secretary in an intensive care unit.  I knew the disease and I had seen it claim lives before.  When Mom and Dad first told me I went home and locked myself in the bathroom and cried.  I knew, it took the disease a year and a half from the first major complication to take him.  Every time he had a complication  knew he was closer, as I have said before I got to tell him how much I loved him, how wonderful a Dad he was, apologize for my thickheaded behavior and tell him how much I appreciated all he did for me as my father.  I kept telling him I loved him every time I left.  Did it make it easier??  No, as you both said the heart does not listen to reason.  JB I dread fathers day too, hugs to you all.

Monique, I love the saying in the red box.  About Father's Day.  At Daddy's funeral I read a card that I gave him on Father's Day in 2007 that he kept.  I knew I couldn't speak, but managed to choke my way through the verse on the card.  I treasure it.  I know my daddy knew how much I loved him, but believe more than ever that you can't say it too much.

at my dads funrell gramaokie i woz lik a zobbie i a transe all i no i had tears i cryd non stop

i woz thr but icud hrdly speak evn speakn to th family lik cuzens /so on frineds of th family /nboz it woz so hrd to speak 

but iv kept som of th fathrs days crd i snt him evn bday crds i snt him

i no wen u sea our lovd 1s sufer it hrts wen thy hav gon it hrts more coz thy r not ther

i thnk me nd monque muts hav bean on th sam web site ti fin d thes foto pics we hav thy r so adictive thy r

to dad luv u wish u wear still hear

a few tims iv saw my dad siting it th table reding th paper i told mum abot it she  has saw him to sitng it th table 2 reding th paper 

Went to the local Fire Department's annual community breakfast.  Dad used to get after me to go ever since we moved here.  We missed it every year and last year Dad was so ill we never even gave it a thought.  So in his honor we went, myself and my husband.  Then we went to the cemetery I left a penny on the headstone.  Dad used to love collecting pennies.  I stood there and cried, there is so much going on that I was overwhelmed with.  I miss you Dad.... so much, the problems are overwhelming emotionally, I miss your voice telling me to have faith.  

I to have just lost my Father. There is know greater love or bond then that of a Father with his daughter. He was my Father, my Freind, my Protector, he was my HERO.

Thank you Monique I'm so sorry for your loss and best wishes to you also

dad miss u love u wish u wear still hear

Thursday was my son's graduation, Saturday my daughter's dance recital, and now it is Memorial Day weekend. My dad would have been at every one of these events, proud and happy to be surrounded by family. Today I put new flowers on my parents' graves, and my dad's date of passing is now engraved on the headstone. It gave me a sense of peace to see their names side by side and linked together by heart which holds their wedding date: December 25, 1942. But I still miss my dad so much, every day I long for his presence. 

Monique,

What a beautiful arrangement you made for your Dad!  Great job.

LJ, I can understand how you have a sense of peace now that the headstone has been engraved.  I ordered my Dad's in April and the foundation has been poured and the headstone should be placed by the end of July.  I felt a sense of peace by just getting everything ordered. 

Monique:  That's a lovely arrangement you made.  I go to the cemetery every week.  It makes me feel closer to my daddy & my brother.  I check on the flowers, keep dirt and grass off the markers, and just make sure everything is okay.  It is my way of paying respect to all that they are to me.

My name is Debra. I suddenly lost my father on April 26th due to a collapsed lung and he stopped breathing and was without oxygen at least 5 minutes so he was brain dead. I am totall devastated and still cannot believe this is real. My dad raised 4 kids by himself and his kids and grandkids were his everything. I was very close to him as I was his only girl. I never knew pain like this.

so sory abot yore loss debra all i no death sucks 

i lost ,my dad 2012 3rd .3 at 220am it still hurtss now i stil get th usural stuff like get ovr it its easy i no i cant coz ther silly words hrt

i no grief pain is so cruel its worst pain we can hav evr hav in liffe 

Hi Debra,

I am so very sorry for your loss.  My Dad passed suddenly Sept 2012 and I never knew how much it hurt either.  I was Daddy's little girl and I knew it would be tough but I never thought it would be so bad.  Focus on the memories, talk about it and how you feel and honor him in whatever way brings you peace.  Take care.

Hi Debra:  My sincere sympathy to you for the loss of your father.  Losing a loved one is never easy, but is even worse when it's sudden.  My daddy was 84 and had medical issues.  When we took him to the er it was for a leg pain.  We never expected he would have a seizure, be in a coma 3 days, and die from sepsis.  My brother was found dead 8 weeks earlier.  I agree that it's a pain like no other.  It's been 3 years and I think of them every day and still miss them greatly.  This is a good place to share your pain because everyone here has been through it and understands.  I wish you comfort in your love and memories of your father.  It sounds like he was a special man.

Dear Debra -  I am so sorry for the sudden loss of your dad. I know your heart is breaking. I lost by dad in January - he was 92 and had a short run with cancer so his death was expected. But I grieve for him every day - we were so close and I miss him desperately. My brother was a strong, healthy and vibrant 68 when he died just 3 weeks after my dad from a pulmonary embolism. It was completely sudden and unexpected and shocking so soon after we lost our dad. My brother has a 17 year old daughter who is devastated.  please come onto this page that Diana created any time you need to express your sorrow. There are others here who understand. 

Gramaokie and LJ,

I'm so sorry for both of your losses.   I couldn't imagine losing 2 loved ones so close together. My heart goes out to both of you. 

I try not to put myself thru this but I am already dreading Father's Day as it will be my first one without Dad.  My husband and I usually made plans with Dad for the day.  The past couple years we took him to monster truck shows and he really enjoyed that.  Before we used to go on a motorcycle ride and stop at one of his favorite eating places.  His name was Kermit and many referred to him as "Frog" so I bought a big mylar frog balloon to put on his grave along with a Father's Day balloon.  I will try to focus on the past memories and think about Dad spending  Father's Day with his Dad (passed in 1977) in heaven.  Take care everyone.

i no how u feal abot fathers day debra i thnk we all feal th sam way on hear dreding thes anversys coming up ilee bdays xmas s fathers day not long awy wish im drding i no its 2nd 1 but im still dreding i cant even avod it coz thy show ads on tv even in th shops i try to avod gong pastt the fathers days cards coz it upsets me 

im even geting emlse abot whot to buy dad fow fathers day 

i wish u cud bac frm heven to earth so i vud spoil u for fathrs day on sonday i no u cant 

we will try tp pray for eash othr diana fathers day othr anvrsys is so panful it is

Hi Dina,

Prayers for you and the members of this group.  I hope everyone was able to get thru Father's Day.  I was emotional anticipating the day but I did much better than I thought.  I tried to focus on the fun things we did with Dad for Father's Day.  Then I thought about my Dad and how this would be the first Father's Day he would be spending with his Dad (my Pappy) since he passed in 1977.  And that made me feel good.  Sometimes we can look at things in a different way.  Take care.

fathers day woz so hard debra 2nd 1 woz hard but today i seasm do cry more today 1 of thm days

if hed bean hear he wud hav bean eatng sweats whot woz left over after yday he wud of bean

or on th satad or today i wud of got him a taway frm th deli takway swndwish shop he wud of got a lot coz th peple behnd th condt new he lovd th foood thr

jo

Debra

Fathers day was tough, but then on June 24th was Dad's birthday..  I found myself shedding tears and missing him.  I have pictures of him in my home and my office, I miss his voice and just knowing he was there.  Funny today I suddenly was remembering a conversation he had with me about his computer, it used to frustrate me so much he would call for help with a problem.  I remember telling him to just hang on until tomorrow, and his answer was that we don't know what tomorrow brings.  Now, I have to sit at that computer for first time in a long time and help Mom make some adjustments.  I am reminding myself to have more patience, because now I would do anything to have Dad call me with a computer problem that would frustrate me.  

Denise,

That would be tough to celebrate 2 events so close together.  I also have pictures of Dad at home and in my car.  so he goes everywhere with me.  I also long for the phone calls when I had thought Dad was a pest.  There are times when I think I am doing ok and then a memory or thought hits me and the crying starts.  My Dad had retired in 2004 and he called me almost every day.  A few weeks before he passed the calls weren't as frequent.  But I always thought the phone calls were for him.  After he passed I realized how much those phone calls were for me. 

jb,

So sorry that your father's day was so hard.

Prayers for both of you.  Take care.

Dad, 

Last year you left me,

Like i dont know why you?

It's hard to let my bestfriend free.

it seems so empty in every room,

where are my hugs

where are my kisses?

without them my heart needs billions and billions of stitches, 

now all I can do is cry

and hopefully accept that one day I will have to say goodbye

i get alot of dreams marylin its why i stard my own dream pag on hear 

yore brandon sond lik a sweat boy he dose so full of lov he dose

i no my dad ded 3rd mrch 2012 at 220 am evry tim i wk up ay tht tim i feal realyweid evn if its to go to th tolitt i always feal weidi dor

I haven't been on for a while.  I'm not going to try to go through old messages at this time.  I'll just post a message and pick up on future messages from here.  I'm gonna copy here what I posted on another group, and then I will get started again:  I have been talking to Jo (JB) on private messages, and she has been encouraging me to come back to the groups and talk.  I think I'm just now ready to do that - thank you, JB, for your support.  About six or nine months ago my husband got very sick (and he is not out of the woods yet but I think he can be okay instead of leaving me) and shortly before that my nephew got shot and died and then I'd had my dad die right before that and my Mom before him and several friends in the interim - and even though some of these deaths happened a while ago now and I should be getting over it, I got worse for a while instead of better.  I got so depressed that I just couldn't come over here and talk about it.  It was more than I could handle.  Over this summer I've had a lot of yard work and repairs and house repairs to work on, because so many things I couldn't do when I was taking care of my Dad, because I was too busy (and I'm not complaining).  I'm so depressed that when I get up to start them I'm actually angry that I have to do it when I don't feel like doing anything, and then after I start moving my body and start getting that exercise and start sweating, I start to feel better.  Then, the next day, I feel angry again that I have to even do anything until the exercise starts to lift my mood.  Yesterday I posted a bunch of pictures on Facebook of the yard work and realized how beautiful it is becoming and how lucky I am to have such a gift as a house, even if it's a small house and yard in a rough neighborhood - I'm so lucky to have it.  And, I'm so lucky that God gave me the gift of being creative and putting flowers and wind chimes and things out in a creative way to make it so beautiful.  And, I thought - I am so blessed - why am I so sad and angry?  I should be enjoying this.  And, I guess that snapped me out of it enough that I decided to come back to the groups today.  Sorry for bringing everyone down with my depression.  Thanks for listening.

dad i luv u wish u wear still hear u no betty died yday toe fav cuzen wish u wear still hear

i tk thes on mon we usd 2 go thr in t 70s thn som of t 80s i did 

Hi JO B, pictures are beautiful!  Where were they taken?

Saturday the 21st will be one year since my Dad passed suddenly.  I wrote a poem yesterday for him and wanted to share with everyone.

A year ago today,

God took you away.

It was your time to go,

the reason I do not know.

Your pain and worries are gone

and I do  my best to move on.

My heart has hurt so bad

because you are my Dad.

You taught me right from wrong

and would even sing a song.

The memories - there are many

and I would enjoy reliving any.

Don't worry about me

because you are free.

My time will come to

and I will reunite with you.

Love you Daddy!

 hrd 1 of my dads fav songs 2 day imangin by j lenon it md me thnk of my dad evm mor 2 day 

it woz 1 of his favs lk many mr songs lk balled songs he loved