i no how you feel christine g im missing my dad i keep on saying why cant you come bac coz we r hurting so mush with out him he allways told me if you wont out big save for it
the fone rang today i fort it woz my dad want us to pick him from the hospitl but it wozent it still hazent sunk in proply yet that he haz gone wen we kissit him goodby in the undertakers im pleasef my mum told us hed be stone cold wen we kissit him on the hed its left a huge hole in our hearts the pain it leaves you and hurt wen som 1 dies is very painfull people say it dont hurt but we all no it duze
My father died last July. I got the news he was near death and flew to Phoenix as quickly as possible but he was already in a coma when I arrived. Although we were not as close during my lifetime as I would have liked, I was glad to be with him as he took his final breath. I hold many fond memories deep within my heart. I miss him desperately at times. There was something about his voice that seemed to capture all the emotion of life in one tone.
Sometime in the next 3 hours is the one week anniversary of my Dads death, alone, in his bed. It hasn't been long, but the sense of loss is overwhelming right now still.
me to wish he woz hear with us my dad woz my hero i woz very lucky to hav a loving kind dad i wood jump off high buildings if it wood bring him back to us
mum says iv got sum of my dads habbits he dint like milk or drank milk i dont like milk or drink milk he liked harry potter films so do ihe didnt like romantik films nether do i nether duze mum we all enjoyed the green mile film wen i bout the dvd we wotched a few yrs ago we all enjoyed it im still taping his programs on the sky box keep fogeting he is not hear i keep on hoping the fotos of him will jump out and say im bac i no it only me bean selfish i wood love to sea all my family iv lost com bac to life
Susan, I feel the same way often. It's amazing how much I thought he depended on me when he was alive because of his illness but now I am seeing that he was a significant part of my life and I really needed him much more than I ever think he needed me.
Yes....little did I realize..how much my identity went with my Dad. I real feel like an orphan now. Dad made me feel secure and I'm a adult. Still at 39....I loved having a Dad to go home to.
How true! I am 44, and I felt like 5 years old when my dad passed away. You are never too old to need a dad, I guess. I appreciated him much more when I became an adult and raised my own kids than I did when I was actually 5 years old! My mom is coming to visit me by herself this summer. It will feel so different without him.
i no how you feal andrea you apreaset yore parents more wen you get older my mum told me she never got over losing her dad and that woz over 40 yrs ago before i woz born i just wish i cud bring bac all my family iv lost bac to life i no i cant but i fink evry 1 on hear feals the sam my dad woz such a kind loving man he didnt deserve to die on sush a dirty ward
im dreding fathers day next month i no ll be a toatl mess wen it comes coz i wont be able to by him any fink and i no wen i sea the cards in the shop ill be in tears i still cant stop crying i no its bean abot 10 weaks and i still cant eat proply just yet a few bites and im full people hav said iv lost wait coz i woz obease to just over wate now
wen i went to the semetery to put flowers on my nan and grandas grave i left a message on for my dad telling him i miss him and love him wish he woz still with us non of us can stop crying over him wev bean likwe that sinse his funrell in march the hurt it leaves u is very painfull
My dad just passed a couple weeks ago. I`m 26 and getting married in less than 3 months...I dont want fathers day to come and I dont want his birthday to come either. Im having a really hard time coping with his unexpected death. He had a heart attack. Gone. Just like that. I dont understand death. I dont understand life either. Why was he taken from me so young? He wasnt suffering...or in a lot of pain....he didnt have cancer...why....I have so many unanswered questions. My dad consumes my thoughts and emotions every minute of every day. I just wish I knew he was OK.....
Liz - I am sorry for your loss. I lost my father to a heart attack, too. Nothing at all could have ever prepared me for that loss. My birthday is this week and it is so hard for me to get through these last few weeks. He passed away in March but it still hurts to think that he is gone. We got through Easter and my Mom's birthday but my birthday was our special time. We always spent it together. I am 32 and still confused about death. The thing is, we can ask ourselves why but that doesn't bring the person back. I had to learn that and you will too. Even now, I have days where all I can think about is him. But it does get easier. We will torture ourselves asking questions that cannot be answered but I learned to get by on the memories and not ask myself why and it has helped. This is the first real death I've had to deal with for someone close to me since I was very young. So, it is a new experience, new feelings. This group has helped me a lot. We can't answer "why" for you but we can provide an ear and a shoulder when you need one. I hope it helps you, too.
JB and Cassandra - much of what you are saying is so familiar to me. My dad loved candy, so I always took it to him. I now see it in the store and start to buy it and think, "He can't eat it any more". And, I drive by my parents doctors offices where I took them a lot during their last years and miss even going to the doctor with them cuz at least I was with them. How can the world be going on like it always did and them not be in it any more. I pulled into a store parking lot last week and there used to be a Joann's Fabrics in there. It is closed now, but I remembered all the times I went in there with my mom like it was yesterday. I hope they have Kit Kats in heaven, because my dad loved Kit Kats. And, I hope they have Indian food and lemon meringue pie for my mom and whatever else they might both still enjoy and find happiness in.
Christianlee - my dad's one year anniversary just passed too - I think that may be why I haven't been on; I'm hiding from my emotions. It doesn't seem like a year to me either. I was going through papers of his just today and remembering playing bingo with him and going to the flea market and it just doesn't seem possible we'll never do those things again. I hope you are doing okay and that you get through this anniversary okay.
Cassandra - I have had a lot of dreams where I'm following my mother around surprised that she doesn't have cancer and lived even though the doctors told her she wouldn't, and she is just right as rain and not even a little surprised that she is well. Then, I wake up and realize she is gone. Maybe she is telling me it's all okay on the other side.
JB - you are not crazy that you felt your dad help you. Things like that happen. I'm not sure if it was an angel or my mom or what, but shortly before my dad died, I almost drove off a cliff near my house. I felt hands land on top of my hands on the steering wheel and swerve my car back onto the road. The reason I almost drove off the cliff was I wasn't paying attention, and that go my attention again. Someone from the other side saved my life that day. And, if your nan keeps telling you to go to the doctor - please go to the doctor. It sounds like she is warning you, because you will definitely be okay if you listen to her but she wants you to listen now while there is still time for it all to be okay.
Marty C - my dad died alone too. I never forgave myself for that. He wanted me to stay with him. I thought he would be okay til morning. I have a pretty severe case of hypoglycemia, and I really needed to go eat at the moment I left. He died before I got back. I'm sorry your dad died and if you wanted to be with him I am sorry he was alone. I'm so sorry.
Mark - my dad and I were very close when I was little. But, my dad was a survivor of severe child abuse, so bad it left him crippled for life and then took his life from Parkinsons from blows to the head that caused the Parkinsons when he was abused. So, in my middle years with him he pushed me and everyone away. Then, in the last years of his life, he and I got very close again. All relationships go through ups and downs, close times and distant times, etc. All that matters it that the two of you loved each other and had the bond that only a parent and child can have, and thus you will miss him and hopefully remember the good times that did create whatever level of bond you had. It is good that you miss him sometimes, because that shows that you were probably closer than you thought you were. We are taught as humans to measure closeness one way, but I think the spirit measures it in a whole another way, and that is the way that lives on. I believe your dad is watching over you. I believe all of our dads are watching over us.
Susan- we never out grow our daddies, even when we are old ourselves. You're never too old to need your daddy, Thank God that After Death Experiences (see that group) people are sharing are leading me to believe more and more that we all still have our daddies. I love my daddy more than I ever realized until he was gone and I couldn't tell him any more.
Liz - I am so sorry you lost your father when you are so young. I don't know what I would have done had I lost my dad when I was 26. I am so so sorry for your loss. I now it must be horrible to loose him so close to father's day and your wedding. I hope you have been on the after death communications group on this site and that that brings you some comfort that he probably will be at your wedding but just not in the physical body. Be aware of things that day. I'm sure you'll get an impression of him. I'm sure he'll let you know he is there. I don't understand life and death either. I guess none of us will until we get to the death part. I agree with what JB has said many times - I wish everyone I love could live forever, but maybe that is what we will have when we get to the other side: a forever life with everyone we love. I remember a short time before my mom died, we all went out to eat and my niece was talking about vampire movies and how she wanted to live forever (she was a young teenager), and my mom told us then that she would not want to live forever. One of her reasons were the people who went before her she would not see any more if she lived here forever. I think we forget sometimes that our parents had parents that they lost, so when they leave us they go and be with the people they had lost just like one day we will be with them. Maybe they are happier than we will ever know and just waiting for us to come over and share that happiness. But, you are only 26, so I'm sure your dad will want you to live a long time, be married, love your husband, maybe have babies who will bring more souls into the family that you can one day share eternity with - which will be the time when your father will meet those babies. So, please try to be happy until many years from now when you will be reunited with your father, because I am sure that is what he would want for you. I was never lucky enough to have children of my own, but I have nieces and nephews who are like my own children we are so close (especially my niece Angie and her brother Johnny). When my time comes and I leave this planet, I want them to be happy. And, knowing the pain of loosing my parents, my plan is to - if there is any way possible - look out for them for the rest of their lives from the other side. And, I'm one of those over protective aunts who would probably be like a poltergeist to anyone who gave them a hard time. Oh - you just harmed my niece, oops, didn't mean to pull that rug out from under your feet and make you fall on your keister - my bad. My niece and nephew will probably be begging me to go on to heaven and leave them alone I'll be watching over them so close, so I'm sure your daddy is watching out for you that close from the other side as well - if not closer cuz he really is your daddy and these are my nieces and nephews. One day when you have children, you'll understand how even death can't separate a parents love and protection from their child. And, I don't know why I'm saying all of this - part of me just feels led to. I hope it is helping. It's actually even helping me a little bit. God bless you. I will say a prayer for you tonight.
Thank you Casandra and Fawnfeather for sharing your thoughts with me. It does help to hear other people going through the same thing...
Today and yesterday have been kind of hard days. My dad`s father built a beach front cottage on an Island with a buddy back in the 50`s and its a very special place to my family. Its our summer home. This was my dads favorite place in the world. We have so many good friends up there. Well, this coming holiday weekend we are going up to open it up for the season...without my dad for the 1st time ever. My mom and my brother and I are all going up. We plan on spreading his ashes around his favorite spots on the island. I cant even think about this weekend without having to excuse myself. I always loved this Island, but I`m so scared to go up without him. It doesn't feel right at all. This is the place I`m getting married at this summer too...
Sometimes I think to myself...ok...this is going to be a better day...and then I try to keep myself busy in my job and whatnot.. and then all of a sudden it will hit me out of nowhere...my dads never coming back. I cant talk to him ever again...I cant tell him how much I love him...I cant shoot the shit and crack jokes ever again...it hurts so much..physically and emotionally. Getting married is suppose to be the happiest time of a woman`s life..and I am dreading it. I really hope this starts to get better soon because I feel like Im losing it...like I`m screaming at the top of my lungs but no one hears me...everyone just keeps on living their lives and I`m at a stand still...
Liz - it's okay to fall apart. All of us did. And, it is especially likely to happen at a special place like your dad's cabin. My mom loved Christmas so much. The Christmas after she died, I was in the grocery store and saw all the Christmas stuff, and I just started crying. I thought everyone would think I was nuts, but some kind lady came up to me and took my hands and said, "God told me to tell you he loves you more than anything and that it will be okay" or something along those lines. She stood and talked to me while I cried without judgment. I think there are a lot of kind people out there who understand, and sometimes God sends them to us. I volunteer in my church office two mornings a week. One of my jobs is to do the bulletin and make sure it is ready for the service. After the service, I am to take the extras and a copy of our newsletter to our members who are in nursing homes. This week was the first week I had the delivering to our nursing home members part. I was standing in the lobby and just started crying, because my dad was in a nursing home his last months and all I could remember was all the time I spent with him.
Tomorrow is my birthday and my husband has taken off work to spend it with me which is something he normally wouldn't do because we are both workaholics. My mom has planned a family dinner for tomorrow, which usually she will make my favorite meal sometime within the month of my birthday and invite me over to eat, so it is a HUGE deal that she is making it specifically on the day of my birthday. Normally, as ritual has it, my father and I would have lunch or dinner together on my birthday and he'd take me shopping. Even being in my 30s, his idea of shopping was handing me $20 or $30 in my favorite store and letting me spend it on whatever I wanted. That was our thing since I was very little, lunch and shopping. It evolved after he and my Mom split-up to us spending the entire day together but no matter whatever else we did that day, lunch and shopping was the main agenda. This birthday, obviously, I won't have that. I know that everyone is doing what they can to fill the gap that he's left for me. And while I am eternally grateful for the attention and the effort in making tomorrow as special a day as possible, I am still very sad knowing that this is the very first birthday I will have to spend without him.
But I am hanging on to the memories of the birthday's past and all the fun times we had together. Hopefully, that will be enough for me to get through the day tomorrow.
Casandra, Happy birthday! I am glad your husband and your mom are making it special for you. I went to lunch and shopping with my mom on my birthday too. We always went to Red Lobster, and I drove by a Red Lobster around my first birthday without her and started crying like a crazy person. Part of me wants to say take $20 or $30 and go to the store and either buy something for yourself or for your dad and put it on his grave to keep that part of the tradition alive, but if you are anything like I was at my first birthday with my mom, you might not be able to handle it. It might make it worse. If that is the case, start new traditions like your husband being off work and your mom making you dinner on your birthday until the old traditions don't hurt too bad to pick them up again.
wotched a hom vidio today wit my dad on it woz gud to hear his laf and vose agane i just wish i cud hear him tark agane for real bean a total mess sinse his results cum bac he died of all the sam thngs his sisters had and sum of his cuzens
wotched a nother home vidio of my dad his birtday in 2009 it woz just gud to hear his vose and lafter agan i just wish it woz for real i wish peopl iv lost wod com bac from the ded i no thy cant and evry tim i sea fathes days cards in the shops it sets me off a bit it still hurts i no its gona hurt for a long tim
JB - It's been just a little bit over a year since my dad died and I can hardly look at pictures. My mom died before him and I have a video of her and I just can't watch it. Does it help you to watch or does it make you feel worse?
a bit of both storyas i just feal sad wen it ends but wotching it hearing his voise and lafter agane i feal like hisstill in the room i just wish he woz still wirh us it fathers day im dreding only a few weeks away no dad to spil rotten like i used to i just hope his geting looket after wer he is
JB - I know what you mean. I used to spoil my dad a lot too. After he got sick, I always kept a drawer of his dresser full of candy. He loved candy, and he was not diabetic and he had a very high metabolism. All of his life, he could eat candy all day and still be very thin and fit. So, I always kept his drawer full of candy. And, he loved bananas. It was 11 months after he died before I could eat a banana, because he and I always ate bananas together. And, I know what you mean - I always want to know that he is looked after and okay where he is at. That is all I think about. I just want to know he is okay and happy and looked after. When others are grieving I think - of course your family member is okay and I know that is so true. But, with my dad, I want proof. Faith isn't enough. I want proof. I guess that makes me a really selfish person, but I love him so much and I need to know that him and my mom are both okay beyond a shadow of a doubt. I loved my mom so much too. I still love them both so much.
that srang storyas my dad liket sweets and bannas evry day to after his dinner he wood get a sweat teh a banna and apple after my dad cud eat i just hope he is geting fed wer he is and geting looket after
Thank you Christine. I hope they have bananas and Kit Kats wherever they are and that they are enjoying them and at peace and happy.
jb - you and i are so much alike in the way we grieve. I think many of the same things you say you think. My dad had a feeding tube and couldn't eat at the end, and I find myself all the time wondering if he is able to eat now and hoping he is able to eat. And, my mom couldn't eat at the end cuz her internal organs were full of cancer, and I find myself wondering if she is able to eat now. I also hope all the time that they just have what they need. When my mom was dying she tried to get out of bed once and when I asked her where she was going, she said she wanted to go back to where that big salad was we had been eating that morning. Maybe she was going between worlds and there was a big salad waiting for her. I hope so, and I hope there were other goodies waiting for her as well. My mom loved Indian food and Lemon Merinque Pie and McRibs.
my dad loved kit kats and mars bars sum times he wud eat 3 a day and he loved his sunday roast and if it woz chicken 3 sundays on a row hed say im spruting fethers and im starting to cluck like a chiken before he died he had cholite bars hiden all over the fridge i still cant eat a choklit bar just yet i still cant even eat proply just yet a few bites and im full and i no poor peple in 3rd world cuntrys wud proberly apreset the food im leaving but i got told it will com bac in my tim 1 of my cuzen told me it took her a yr and harf to com bac
jb - your dad sounds so much like my dad. I can hear my dad saying that he's starting to grow feathers if he ate too much chicken. Was your dad from the appalachian mountains? my dad was, and that is how he talked. your dad sounds so much like my dad. my dad liked mars bars too but kit kats were his favorite. for years and years it was m&m's. he kept a jar of m&m's by his chair all the time. then, to my surprise, he got tired of them and started eating kit kats all the time. i can't eat a kit kat now. I ate my first banana since he died about a month ago. i don't think i'll ever be able to eat a kit kat again. my dad liked roast too. i'd make this roast where i'd just put a roast in the pan and put a packet or jar of onion gravy and a pack or jar of mushroom gravy mixed together on it and bake it like that so that it was just covered in gravy and make it with some mashed potatoes and he'd love it. But, his all time favorite was fried chicken. he had fried chicken for lunch every day. I'd buy a box of it from the grocery store deli every few days so he'd have enough to last for a few days til I went back to the store again. at his funeral i had a reception and served his favorite foods - it was a fried chicken dinner, bowls of kit kats, and for dessert cake and coffee. He loved cake and coffee. I do also hope he is able to eat wherever he is now. He'd had a feeding tube for a few months before he died. I hope when he got to heaven that a feast was waiting for him - fried chicken dinner and cake and coffee for dessert.
jb - your appetite will come back with time. if you start loosing too much weight, try eating milk shakes unless you have a health problem that would make it bad for you to eat them. I have my appetite back. I have a very severe case of hypoglycemia, so if I loose my appetite it is very dangerous for me as my blood sugar will drop way too low. So, I started eating things that either just had a lot of sugar in it to keep my blood sugar up with just a few bites or whenever i craved something I'd go get it and eat as much as I could. Ice cream really helped me keep my blood sugar up, especially milk shakes. Sometimes ice cream was too heavy and it would make me sick, but the milk in milk shakes diluted it a bit and also allowed me to sip on it slowly so that I could get more down.
I've never been to the UK but watch a lot of UK Tv.
I guess if you don't like milk I would just say pick the highest calorie things you can so that a few bites gets the most into you until your appetite comes back. Or, make milkshakes out of soymilk and soy ice cream. That's what I do at home, because I don't like milk to drink but I can stand dairy products if they are in cheese, yogurt or ice cream, but I never have regular milk at home, so I make soy milk milkshakes. But, I don't know how easy soy milk and soy ice cream will be for you to get. i live in a fairly large city with a lot of health food stores.
jb - also, isn't it funny how small the world really is when we start talking. My dad was from the appalachian mountains and you and your dad are from northern uk, yet both of our dads were so much alike. But, it could still be cultural influences. Like I said before, I don't know much about the UK other than what I've watched on tv and BBC documentaries, but isn't the northern end of UK bordered by Scotland on the other side of the Trent. Am I correct? Like i said - this is just knowledge from TV and reading - never been there. Most Appalachians migrated from Scotland and Ireland. Most of us are a mix of Scottish and Irish, or what we call Scotts Irish (although a lot of Scottish people I have met in my region get mad at me for saying Scotts Irish - yelling at me that they are not a drink, but I'm not saying Scotch I'm saying Scotts. I guess I still have a bit of an accent. But, in the region I come from it is totally appropriate to refer to yourself as Scotts Irish). So, maybe there is a cultural thing that made our dad's so much alike. Your dad's humor sounds like my dad's humor. My dad ate chicken all the time and he loved to make jokes like he was growing feathers and the like. My dad had a great sense of humor. I remember one time there was a neighbor child who used to come to visit my dad. He was ten and he had a crush on my 22 year old niece. My dad got my niece on the phone one day and said, "You got a prospective beau down here who wants to court you." The little boy was so embarrassed that he ran out of the house and hid in the yard, and my dad was laughing so hard his face was turning red. It was funny.
our acsent duz sound a bit scotsh storyas but live below scotland i drink a lot of zero cola abot 3 or 4 cans a day wen i woz a teanager it used to be diet coke abo 6 or 7 cans or more im eating a bit of tast well only harf gets eating but got told it will com in my tim my cuzin it took her a yr and harf to com bac wen her mum died and the sam we her dad died like last yr it xmas we had that mush turky for 4 or 5 days on the go my dad mad ud laff wen he said im starting to goble like a turky and starting to looke like a turky int he miror he woz so funny he cud mak evry 1 laf
jb - my dad wuz funny too. I miss his sense of humor. Your appetite will come back with time, but if you start to loose too much weight maybe you should talk to a doctor. You don't want to make yourself sick. Your dad wouldn't want you to make yourself sick.
i no wot u mean storyas i fink if our dads had met they wood pf made a gud dubl act my dad cud make any 1 laf he wood say lifes to short for misrible people like wen he told my mum u hav sum ink on u she said wot he said clothes or if u told him to put the ketle on he wood say he can get over his neck
jb - your dad sounds funny, so much like my dad. May I ask - how old was your dad. My dad died exactly one week before he would have turned 79. But, my dad was not always funny. He was sometimes sad too. He was handicapped all of his life from child abuse when he was little, but what made him a great man was that even though he was beaten so badly that it left him crippled his entire life, he never hit his own kids. Sometimes he would have dark moods, because he would remember how badly he was treated as a child. But, the humor helped him survive it too. I'm actually writing he story of his childhood with the help of a local author and counselor and a priest. I am hoping it will get published and help in the fight against child abuse. The counselor and priest are both going to write forewards for the book when it is ready to be submitted. I don't understand how anyone can beat their children. My dad broke the cycle, so I don't know what that is like, but I know it plagued him all of his life. My dad used to have a pet guinea pig, and he would take it out at night and let it crawl on him. I have a picture of him where my dad has a cigarette hanging out of his mouth, and the guinea pig is sitting on his chest right next to my dad's face (my dad was lying down at that moment) with a cigarette hanging out of its mouth. Of course, the cigarettes were not lit or he would not have put one in his guinea pigs mouth, but it is such a funny picture. Then, he had me take a picture of him right after that where he had the lid on a bottle of whiskey so that the guinea pig couldn't get any and the guinea pig was chewing on the lid so that it looked like it was drinking and my dad was holding a can up with a big smile on his face like he was saying, "Party." It was funny. I guess you have to see the pictures to really get how funny they were though.
he woz 76 yrs wen he died wen he start geting pooly yrs ago thy sad it woz bronkotters then the said it woz asmer thn thy said it woz c o p d then lung desese then it woz resperty desese my dad woo say thy wont to make thr mind up wot it is he woz always making joke out of thngs storyas he told me 1s ther woz a hole in the sink and the tollit i went to hav a look and said i cund find it he told me to look a gan thn i trigi the hole wer the water gose doon and the hole wer u sit i wish he woz still hear making evry 1 laff i supose his doing it up thr now making thm all laf it the minit im sick of people telling me to get over him i cant get over him coz he woz my dad and that i loved him still do
jb - i so sorry you went through that with doctors. We face that with doctors a lot in the US. They kept changing my dad's diagnosis and at the end said he had Parkinsons but they never did the test on him and he really didn't have many of the symptoms. I kept begging the doctor to do tests on him to see what was wrong and the doc finally got mad at me for asking too much and said, "Okay, fine - you want a diagnosis, I'm going to guess he has Parkinson's but I'm not putting an old man through the test cuz he's gonna die soon any way, so get off my back." Then, after he got that diagnosis that was based on nothing, other things that didn't fit into that diagnosis didn't get treated, and then he died. His last few months were in a nursing home, and it got heavily fined and closed down for neglect and abuse, and now some of his medical providers might loose their license. It's shameful how too many medical providers treat old people. Don't they realize they will be old one day too? I know how you feel - I'll learn to cope with loosing my dad, but I'll never get over it. You only get one dad, which makes him priceless. The same for your mom. You only get one of each parent, so they are precious. They are priceless. I do like your dad's sense of humor. The reason I said I wonder if it comes from you living near Scotland and my family originally being from there is that many of my uncles on my mom's side of the family have the same humor. My Uncle Ed, who has also passed away, was very funny too. The jokes your dad tells are very similar to the jokes the men in my family tell, especially my dad and my Uncle Ed. Me and my dad used to go to a restaurant 4 or 5 mornings a week for breakfast before he got so bad he had to go in a nursing home for a short time before he died. He was very good friends with the waitresses, and one morning they were jokingly acting like it was the Jerry Springer show and they were fighting over my dad, and they had the whole restaurant laughing. There was even a mom and daughter who worked in that restaurant, and they were saying, "But he's mine." You had to be there, but it was really funny. All the other customers were laughing and laughing.
i no wot u mean abot drs they all go agan st eash other storyas wen thy did the psotmortm on him he died of heart failer kidny falir liver failer rsperty failer sam as his sisters i wish he never had a psotmortim wen the results com bac it mad us all feal worse that he suferd lik tht
jb - i am so sorry that he had to go through that and that you all are having to suffer with that knowledge now. I don't know what is wrong with medicine any more. It seems to have lost spirit heart and compassion and only be pure physical. It's such a shame. I am so sorry your dad suffered, and I am sorry for what you are going through now. I find myself often focusing on my dad's suffering when he was alive, and I get so sad and feel such guilt that I didn't succeed in making it better even though I fought on his behalf like nothing I thought I was capable of doing. But, I'm going to share something with you that might make you think I'm nuts, but maybe it will make you feel better. After my dad died, I was grieving so bad. I went to have Reiki done. I don't know if Reiki has made it to your portion of the UK, but it is a hands on healing thing from Japan. I can explain it more if you want me to, or you may be very familiar with it. While the guy was doing Reiki on me, he bent over and whispered in my ear, "Your dad is here." I started crying and said, "Is he okay?" The guy got this quizzical look on his face and kinda shook his head like he couldn't believe I would doubt he was okay, and he said, "Yeah." Then he said, "Your dad told me that his arms hurt from wanting to hug you so bad." I began to suspect then that something was happening that was real, because that is how my dad used to explain himself in life. He'd say how what he felt felt in his body - like I want to hug you so bad it hurts my arms. Then, he said my dad told him that he had a hard transition (he was very sick at the end) but he was okay now. I again suspected the guy was really talking to my dad, because I knew my dad had a hard transition. Not only did he suffer a lot at the end, but he was struggling with dying. He was afraid to die, because he was a child abuse survivor and he didn't trust parents and God is our heavenly parent, so my dad was really scared when he died. Had this guy told me my dad had landed on the other side in a field of flowers and butterflies, I would have known he was full of crap. But, he said my dad had a hard transition. I was starting to feel like something was really happening. Then, he told me that my dad said to tell me that he'd made his transition harder than it needed to be by being so hard-headed in life and said he'd always been hard headed, but he wanted me to know he was okay now and once he had figured out what was happening to him and understood that he was safe in transitioning that everything became okay. Well, most people say stubborn where i live now, but my dad always said hard headed. My dad was the only person I knew who still said hard headed. So, when that guy said my dad said he had been hard headed in life (his child abuse history sometimes made him not trust right away and he'd get stubborn to protect himself until he understood he was safe), I really began to suspect that this guy was really talking to my dad. Plus, that is how my dad lived his life - he became hard headed at his transition until he understood he was safe and then he relaxed and let good things happen to him. This was the first time I'd met this Reiki guy, so how did he know all that about my dad. I certainly didn't tell him. All I told him was that I was grieving my dad and needed help through it. I did not tell him one thing about my dad. Not one thing! So, I think that both of our dads left the suffering that was the end of this life to go to a place where they are safe. So, we can stop feeling bad about their suffering, because I truly believe they are not suffering any more. And, I fought the nursing home my dad was in to make sure no one else got hurt, and I won. So, all we can do from here is pray for medicine that it will improve and treat people better and with more compassion and make reports against bad doctors to save others from suffering.
we had a freind yrs ago storyas who cud tark to the sprit world she new wen thr woz gona be a desater pr wen sum 1 woz gon give nirh or get marid or wen sum 1 woz going to die but she never protdict her own death but she left her gift to 1 of her dorters so thy mite help she woz tht good it woz sum tims skary
christianlee
May 10, 2012
dream moon JO B
i no how you feel christine g im missing my dad i keep on saying why cant you come bac coz we r hurting so mush with out him he allways told me if you wont out big save for it
May 10, 2012
dream moon JO B
the fone rang today i fort it woz my dad want us to pick him from the hospitl but it wozent it still hazent sunk in proply yet that he haz gone wen we kissit him goodby in the undertakers im pleasef my mum told us hed be stone cold wen we kissit him on the hed its left a huge hole in our hearts the pain it leaves you and hurt wen som 1 dies is very painfull people say it dont hurt but we all no it duze
May 11, 2012
Laurie Kline
May 11, 2012
Mark Hundley
My father died last July. I got the news he was near death and flew to Phoenix as quickly as possible but he was already in a coma when I arrived. Although we were not as close during my lifetime as I would have liked, I was glad to be with him as he took his final breath. I hold many fond memories deep within my heart. I miss him desperately at times. There was something about his voice that seemed to capture all the emotion of life in one tone.
May 11, 2012
Marty C.
Sometime in the next 3 hours is the one week anniversary of my Dads death, alone, in his bed. It hasn't been long, but the sense of loss is overwhelming right now still.
May 11, 2012
christianlee
May 12, 2012
dream moon JO B
me to wish he woz hear with us my dad woz my hero i woz very lucky to hav a loving kind dad i wood jump off high buildings if it wood bring him back to us
May 12, 2012
dream moon JO B
mum says iv got sum of my dads habbits he dint like milk or drank milk i dont like milk or drink milk he liked harry potter films so do ihe didnt like romantik films nether do i nether duze mum we all enjoyed the green mile film wen i bout the dvd we wotched a few yrs ago we all enjoyed it im still taping his programs on the sky box keep fogeting he is not hear i keep on hoping the fotos of him will jump out and say im bac i no it only me bean selfish i wood love to sea all my family iv lost com bac to life
May 13, 2012
Susan Harkin
May 15, 2012
Casandra Porter
Susan, I feel the same way often. It's amazing how much I thought he depended on me when he was alive because of his illness but now I am seeing that he was a significant part of my life and I really needed him much more than I ever think he needed me.
May 15, 2012
christianlee
May 15, 2012
dream moon JO B
i fell the same with evry 1 on hear im lost with out my dad and im 37 i just wish i cud bring him bac to life i no its only me bean selfish
May 15, 2012
Andrea Clark
How true! I am 44, and I felt like 5 years old when my dad passed away. You are never too old to need a dad, I guess. I appreciated him much more when I became an adult and raised my own kids than I did when I was actually 5 years old! My mom is coming to visit me by herself this summer. It will feel so different without him.
May 15, 2012
dream moon JO B
i no how you feal andrea you apreaset yore parents more wen you get older my mum told me she never got over losing her dad and that woz over 40 yrs ago before i woz born i just wish i cud bring bac all my family iv lost bac to life i no i cant but i fink evry 1 on hear feals the sam my dad woz such a kind loving man he didnt deserve to die on sush a dirty ward
May 16, 2012
dream moon JO B
im dreding fathers day next month i no ll be a toatl mess wen it comes coz i wont be able to by him any fink and i no wen i sea the cards in the shop ill be in tears i still cant stop crying i no its bean abot 10 weaks and i still cant eat proply just yet a few bites and im full people hav said iv lost wait coz i woz obease to just over wate now
May 17, 2012
dream moon JO B
wen i went to the semetery to put flowers on my nan and grandas grave i left a message on for my dad telling him i miss him and love him wish he woz still with us non of us can stop crying over him wev bean likwe that sinse his funrell in march the hurt it leaves u is very painfull
May 19, 2012
Liz
My dad just passed a couple weeks ago. I`m 26 and getting married in less than 3 months...I dont want fathers day to come and I dont want his birthday to come either. Im having a really hard time coping with his unexpected death. He had a heart attack. Gone. Just like that. I dont understand death. I dont understand life either. Why was he taken from me so young? He wasnt suffering...or in a lot of pain....he didnt have cancer...why....I have so many unanswered questions. My dad consumes my thoughts and emotions every minute of every day. I just wish I knew he was OK.....
May 21, 2012
Casandra Porter
Liz - I am sorry for your loss. I lost my father to a heart attack, too. Nothing at all could have ever prepared me for that loss. My birthday is this week and it is so hard for me to get through these last few weeks. He passed away in March but it still hurts to think that he is gone. We got through Easter and my Mom's birthday but my birthday was our special time. We always spent it together. I am 32 and still confused about death. The thing is, we can ask ourselves why but that doesn't bring the person back. I had to learn that and you will too. Even now, I have days where all I can think about is him. But it does get easier. We will torture ourselves asking questions that cannot be answered but I learned to get by on the memories and not ask myself why and it has helped. This is the first real death I've had to deal with for someone close to me since I was very young. So, it is a new experience, new feelings. This group has helped me a lot. We can't answer "why" for you but we can provide an ear and a shoulder when you need one. I hope it helps you, too.
May 21, 2012
Storyas Fawnfeather
JB and Cassandra - much of what you are saying is so familiar to me. My dad loved candy, so I always took it to him. I now see it in the store and start to buy it and think, "He can't eat it any more". And, I drive by my parents doctors offices where I took them a lot during their last years and miss even going to the doctor with them cuz at least I was with them. How can the world be going on like it always did and them not be in it any more. I pulled into a store parking lot last week and there used to be a Joann's Fabrics in there. It is closed now, but I remembered all the times I went in there with my mom like it was yesterday. I hope they have Kit Kats in heaven, because my dad loved Kit Kats. And, I hope they have Indian food and lemon meringue pie for my mom and whatever else they might both still enjoy and find happiness in.
May 22, 2012
Storyas Fawnfeather
Christianlee - my dad's one year anniversary just passed too - I think that may be why I haven't been on; I'm hiding from my emotions. It doesn't seem like a year to me either. I was going through papers of his just today and remembering playing bingo with him and going to the flea market and it just doesn't seem possible we'll never do those things again. I hope you are doing okay and that you get through this anniversary okay.
Cassandra - I have had a lot of dreams where I'm following my mother around surprised that she doesn't have cancer and lived even though the doctors told her she wouldn't, and she is just right as rain and not even a little surprised that she is well. Then, I wake up and realize she is gone. Maybe she is telling me it's all okay on the other side.
JB - you are not crazy that you felt your dad help you. Things like that happen. I'm not sure if it was an angel or my mom or what, but shortly before my dad died, I almost drove off a cliff near my house. I felt hands land on top of my hands on the steering wheel and swerve my car back onto the road. The reason I almost drove off the cliff was I wasn't paying attention, and that go my attention again. Someone from the other side saved my life that day. And, if your nan keeps telling you to go to the doctor - please go to the doctor. It sounds like she is warning you, because you will definitely be okay if you listen to her but she wants you to listen now while there is still time for it all to be okay.
May 22, 2012
Storyas Fawnfeather
Marty C - my dad died alone too. I never forgave myself for that. He wanted me to stay with him. I thought he would be okay til morning. I have a pretty severe case of hypoglycemia, and I really needed to go eat at the moment I left. He died before I got back. I'm sorry your dad died and if you wanted to be with him I am sorry he was alone. I'm so sorry.
Mark - my dad and I were very close when I was little. But, my dad was a survivor of severe child abuse, so bad it left him crippled for life and then took his life from Parkinsons from blows to the head that caused the Parkinsons when he was abused. So, in my middle years with him he pushed me and everyone away. Then, in the last years of his life, he and I got very close again. All relationships go through ups and downs, close times and distant times, etc. All that matters it that the two of you loved each other and had the bond that only a parent and child can have, and thus you will miss him and hopefully remember the good times that did create whatever level of bond you had. It is good that you miss him sometimes, because that shows that you were probably closer than you thought you were. We are taught as humans to measure closeness one way, but I think the spirit measures it in a whole another way, and that is the way that lives on. I believe your dad is watching over you. I believe all of our dads are watching over us.
Susan- we never out grow our daddies, even when we are old ourselves. You're never too old to need your daddy, Thank God that After Death Experiences (see that group) people are sharing are leading me to believe more and more that we all still have our daddies. I love my daddy more than I ever realized until he was gone and I couldn't tell him any more.
May 22, 2012
Storyas Fawnfeather
Liz - I am so sorry you lost your father when you are so young. I don't know what I would have done had I lost my dad when I was 26. I am so so sorry for your loss. I now it must be horrible to loose him so close to father's day and your wedding. I hope you have been on the after death communications group on this site and that that brings you some comfort that he probably will be at your wedding but just not in the physical body. Be aware of things that day. I'm sure you'll get an impression of him. I'm sure he'll let you know he is there. I don't understand life and death either. I guess none of us will until we get to the death part. I agree with what JB has said many times - I wish everyone I love could live forever, but maybe that is what we will have when we get to the other side: a forever life with everyone we love. I remember a short time before my mom died, we all went out to eat and my niece was talking about vampire movies and how she wanted to live forever (she was a young teenager), and my mom told us then that she would not want to live forever. One of her reasons were the people who went before her she would not see any more if she lived here forever. I think we forget sometimes that our parents had parents that they lost, so when they leave us they go and be with the people they had lost just like one day we will be with them. Maybe they are happier than we will ever know and just waiting for us to come over and share that happiness. But, you are only 26, so I'm sure your dad will want you to live a long time, be married, love your husband, maybe have babies who will bring more souls into the family that you can one day share eternity with - which will be the time when your father will meet those babies. So, please try to be happy until many years from now when you will be reunited with your father, because I am sure that is what he would want for you. I was never lucky enough to have children of my own, but I have nieces and nephews who are like my own children we are so close (especially my niece Angie and her brother Johnny). When my time comes and I leave this planet, I want them to be happy. And, knowing the pain of loosing my parents, my plan is to - if there is any way possible - look out for them for the rest of their lives from the other side. And, I'm one of those over protective aunts who would probably be like a poltergeist to anyone who gave them a hard time. Oh - you just harmed my niece, oops, didn't mean to pull that rug out from under your feet and make you fall on your keister - my bad. My niece and nephew will probably be begging me to go on to heaven and leave them alone I'll be watching over them so close, so I'm sure your daddy is watching out for you that close from the other side as well - if not closer cuz he really is your daddy and these are my nieces and nephews. One day when you have children, you'll understand how even death can't separate a parents love and protection from their child. And, I don't know why I'm saying all of this - part of me just feels led to. I hope it is helping. It's actually even helping me a little bit. God bless you. I will say a prayer for you tonight.
May 22, 2012
Liz
Thank you Casandra and Fawnfeather for sharing your thoughts with me. It does help to hear other people going through the same thing...
Today and yesterday have been kind of hard days. My dad`s father built a beach front cottage on an Island with a buddy back in the 50`s and its a very special place to my family. Its our summer home. This was my dads favorite place in the world. We have so many good friends up there. Well, this coming holiday weekend we are going up to open it up for the season...without my dad for the 1st time ever. My mom and my brother and I are all going up. We plan on spreading his ashes around his favorite spots on the island. I cant even think about this weekend without having to excuse myself. I always loved this Island, but I`m so scared to go up without him. It doesn't feel right at all. This is the place I`m getting married at this summer too...
Sometimes I think to myself...ok...this is going to be a better day...and then I try to keep myself busy in my job and whatnot.. and then all of a sudden it will hit me out of nowhere...my dads never coming back. I cant talk to him ever again...I cant tell him how much I love him...I cant shoot the shit and crack jokes ever again...it hurts so much..physically and emotionally. Getting married is suppose to be the happiest time of a woman`s life..and I am dreading it. I really hope this starts to get better soon because I feel like Im losing it...like I`m screaming at the top of my lungs but no one hears me...everyone just keeps on living their lives and I`m at a stand still...
May 23, 2012
Storyas Fawnfeather
Liz - it's okay to fall apart. All of us did. And, it is especially likely to happen at a special place like your dad's cabin. My mom loved Christmas so much. The Christmas after she died, I was in the grocery store and saw all the Christmas stuff, and I just started crying. I thought everyone would think I was nuts, but some kind lady came up to me and took my hands and said, "God told me to tell you he loves you more than anything and that it will be okay" or something along those lines. She stood and talked to me while I cried without judgment. I think there are a lot of kind people out there who understand, and sometimes God sends them to us. I volunteer in my church office two mornings a week. One of my jobs is to do the bulletin and make sure it is ready for the service. After the service, I am to take the extras and a copy of our newsletter to our members who are in nursing homes. This week was the first week I had the delivering to our nursing home members part. I was standing in the lobby and just started crying, because my dad was in a nursing home his last months and all I could remember was all the time I spent with him.
May 23, 2012
Casandra Porter
Tomorrow is my birthday and my husband has taken off work to spend it with me which is something he normally wouldn't do because we are both workaholics. My mom has planned a family dinner for tomorrow, which usually she will make my favorite meal sometime within the month of my birthday and invite me over to eat, so it is a HUGE deal that she is making it specifically on the day of my birthday. Normally, as ritual has it, my father and I would have lunch or dinner together on my birthday and he'd take me shopping. Even being in my 30s, his idea of shopping was handing me $20 or $30 in my favorite store and letting me spend it on whatever I wanted. That was our thing since I was very little, lunch and shopping. It evolved after he and my Mom split-up to us spending the entire day together but no matter whatever else we did that day, lunch and shopping was the main agenda. This birthday, obviously, I won't have that. I know that everyone is doing what they can to fill the gap that he's left for me. And while I am eternally grateful for the attention and the effort in making tomorrow as special a day as possible, I am still very sad knowing that this is the very first birthday I will have to spend without him.
But I am hanging on to the memories of the birthday's past and all the fun times we had together. Hopefully, that will be enough for me to get through the day tomorrow.
May 23, 2012
Storyas Fawnfeather
Casandra, Happy birthday! I am glad your husband and your mom are making it special for you. I went to lunch and shopping with my mom on my birthday too. We always went to Red Lobster, and I drove by a Red Lobster around my first birthday without her and started crying like a crazy person. Part of me wants to say take $20 or $30 and go to the store and either buy something for yourself or for your dad and put it on his grave to keep that part of the tradition alive, but if you are anything like I was at my first birthday with my mom, you might not be able to handle it. It might make it worse. If that is the case, start new traditions like your husband being off work and your mom making you dinner on your birthday until the old traditions don't hurt too bad to pick them up again.
May 23, 2012
dream moon JO B
wotched a hom vidio today wit my dad on it woz gud to hear his laf and vose agane i just wish i cud hear him tark agane for real bean a total mess sinse his results cum bac he died of all the sam thngs his sisters had and sum of his cuzens
May 25, 2012
dream moon JO B
wotched a nother home vidio of my dad his birtday in 2009 it woz just gud to hear his vose and lafter agan i just wish it woz for real i wish peopl iv lost wod com bac from the ded i no thy cant and evry tim i sea fathes days cards in the shops it sets me off a bit it still hurts i no its gona hurt for a long tim
May 26, 2012
Storyas Fawnfeather
JB - It's been just a little bit over a year since my dad died and I can hardly look at pictures. My mom died before him and I have a video of her and I just can't watch it. Does it help you to watch or does it make you feel worse?
May 26, 2012
dream moon JO B
a bit of both storyas i just feal sad wen it ends but wotching it hearing his voise and lafter agane i feal like hisstill in the room i just wish he woz still wirh us it fathers day im dreding only a few weeks away no dad to spil rotten like i used to i just hope his geting looket after wer he is
May 27, 2012
Storyas Fawnfeather
JB - I know what you mean. I used to spoil my dad a lot too. After he got sick, I always kept a drawer of his dresser full of candy. He loved candy, and he was not diabetic and he had a very high metabolism. All of his life, he could eat candy all day and still be very thin and fit. So, I always kept his drawer full of candy. And, he loved bananas. It was 11 months after he died before I could eat a banana, because he and I always ate bananas together. And, I know what you mean - I always want to know that he is looked after and okay where he is at. That is all I think about. I just want to know he is okay and happy and looked after. When others are grieving I think - of course your family member is okay and I know that is so true. But, with my dad, I want proof. Faith isn't enough. I want proof. I guess that makes me a really selfish person, but I love him so much and I need to know that him and my mom are both okay beyond a shadow of a doubt. I loved my mom so much too. I still love them both so much.
May 27, 2012
dream moon JO B
that srang storyas my dad liket sweets and bannas evry day to after his dinner he wood get a sweat teh a banna and apple after my dad cud eat i just hope he is geting fed wer he is and geting looket after
May 27, 2012
Storyas Fawnfeather
Thank you Christine. I hope they have bananas and Kit Kats wherever they are and that they are enjoying them and at peace and happy.
jb - you and i are so much alike in the way we grieve. I think many of the same things you say you think. My dad had a feeding tube and couldn't eat at the end, and I find myself all the time wondering if he is able to eat now and hoping he is able to eat. And, my mom couldn't eat at the end cuz her internal organs were full of cancer, and I find myself wondering if she is able to eat now. I also hope all the time that they just have what they need. When my mom was dying she tried to get out of bed once and when I asked her where she was going, she said she wanted to go back to where that big salad was we had been eating that morning. Maybe she was going between worlds and there was a big salad waiting for her. I hope so, and I hope there were other goodies waiting for her as well. My mom loved Indian food and Lemon Merinque Pie and McRibs.
May 27, 2012
dream moon JO B
my dad loved kit kats and mars bars sum times he wud eat 3 a day and he loved his sunday roast and if it woz chicken 3 sundays on a row hed say im spruting fethers and im starting to cluck like a chiken before he died he had cholite bars hiden all over the fridge i still cant eat a choklit bar just yet i still cant even eat proply just yet a few bites and im full and i no poor peple in 3rd world cuntrys wud proberly apreset the food im leaving but i got told it will com bac in my tim 1 of my cuzen told me it took her a yr and harf to com bac
May 27, 2012
Storyas Fawnfeather
jb - your dad sounds so much like my dad. I can hear my dad saying that he's starting to grow feathers if he ate too much chicken. Was your dad from the appalachian mountains? my dad was, and that is how he talked. your dad sounds so much like my dad. my dad liked mars bars too but kit kats were his favorite. for years and years it was m&m's. he kept a jar of m&m's by his chair all the time. then, to my surprise, he got tired of them and started eating kit kats all the time. i can't eat a kit kat now. I ate my first banana since he died about a month ago. i don't think i'll ever be able to eat a kit kat again. my dad liked roast too. i'd make this roast where i'd just put a roast in the pan and put a packet or jar of onion gravy and a pack or jar of mushroom gravy mixed together on it and bake it like that so that it was just covered in gravy and make it with some mashed potatoes and he'd love it. But, his all time favorite was fried chicken. he had fried chicken for lunch every day. I'd buy a box of it from the grocery store deli every few days so he'd have enough to last for a few days til I went back to the store again. at his funeral i had a reception and served his favorite foods - it was a fried chicken dinner, bowls of kit kats, and for dessert cake and coffee. He loved cake and coffee. I do also hope he is able to eat wherever he is now. He'd had a feeding tube for a few months before he died. I hope when he got to heaven that a feast was waiting for him - fried chicken dinner and cake and coffee for dessert.
May 27, 2012
Storyas Fawnfeather
jb - your appetite will come back with time. if you start loosing too much weight, try eating milk shakes unless you have a health problem that would make it bad for you to eat them. I have my appetite back. I have a very severe case of hypoglycemia, so if I loose my appetite it is very dangerous for me as my blood sugar will drop way too low. So, I started eating things that either just had a lot of sugar in it to keep my blood sugar up with just a few bites or whenever i craved something I'd go get it and eat as much as I could. Ice cream really helped me keep my blood sugar up, especially milk shakes. Sometimes ice cream was too heavy and it would make me sick, but the milk in milk shakes diluted it a bit and also allowed me to sip on it slowly so that I could get more down.
May 27, 2012
dream moon JO B
no storyas uk the north dont like milk same az my dad he didnt lik milk just sweats and choklit
May 27, 2012
Storyas Fawnfeather
I've never been to the UK but watch a lot of UK Tv.
I guess if you don't like milk I would just say pick the highest calorie things you can so that a few bites gets the most into you until your appetite comes back. Or, make milkshakes out of soymilk and soy ice cream. That's what I do at home, because I don't like milk to drink but I can stand dairy products if they are in cheese, yogurt or ice cream, but I never have regular milk at home, so I make soy milk milkshakes. But, I don't know how easy soy milk and soy ice cream will be for you to get. i live in a fairly large city with a lot of health food stores.
May 27, 2012
Storyas Fawnfeather
jb - also, isn't it funny how small the world really is when we start talking. My dad was from the appalachian mountains and you and your dad are from northern uk, yet both of our dads were so much alike. But, it could still be cultural influences. Like I said before, I don't know much about the UK other than what I've watched on tv and BBC documentaries, but isn't the northern end of UK bordered by Scotland on the other side of the Trent. Am I correct? Like i said - this is just knowledge from TV and reading - never been there. Most Appalachians migrated from Scotland and Ireland. Most of us are a mix of Scottish and Irish, or what we call Scotts Irish (although a lot of Scottish people I have met in my region get mad at me for saying Scotts Irish - yelling at me that they are not a drink, but I'm not saying Scotch I'm saying Scotts. I guess I still have a bit of an accent. But, in the region I come from it is totally appropriate to refer to yourself as Scotts Irish). So, maybe there is a cultural thing that made our dad's so much alike. Your dad's humor sounds like my dad's humor. My dad ate chicken all the time and he loved to make jokes like he was growing feathers and the like. My dad had a great sense of humor. I remember one time there was a neighbor child who used to come to visit my dad. He was ten and he had a crush on my 22 year old niece. My dad got my niece on the phone one day and said, "You got a prospective beau down here who wants to court you." The little boy was so embarrassed that he ran out of the house and hid in the yard, and my dad was laughing so hard his face was turning red. It was funny.
May 27, 2012
dream moon JO B
our acsent duz sound a bit scotsh storyas but live below scotland i drink a lot of zero cola abot 3 or 4 cans a day wen i woz a teanager it used to be diet coke abo 6 or 7 cans or more im eating a bit of tast well only harf gets eating but got told it will com in my tim my cuzin it took her a yr and harf to com bac wen her mum died and the sam we her dad died like last yr it xmas we had that mush turky for 4 or 5 days on the go my dad mad ud laff wen he said im starting to goble like a turky and starting to looke like a turky int he miror he woz so funny he cud mak evry 1 laf
May 28, 2012
Storyas Fawnfeather
jb - my dad wuz funny too. I miss his sense of humor. Your appetite will come back with time, but if you start to loose too much weight maybe you should talk to a doctor. You don't want to make yourself sick. Your dad wouldn't want you to make yourself sick.
May 28, 2012
dream moon JO B
i no wot u mean storyas i fink if our dads had met they wood pf made a gud dubl act my dad cud make any 1 laf he wood say lifes to short for misrible people like wen he told my mum u hav sum ink on u she said wot he said clothes or if u told him to put the ketle on he wood say he can get over his neck
May 28, 2012
Storyas Fawnfeather
jb - your dad sounds funny, so much like my dad. May I ask - how old was your dad. My dad died exactly one week before he would have turned 79. But, my dad was not always funny. He was sometimes sad too. He was handicapped all of his life from child abuse when he was little, but what made him a great man was that even though he was beaten so badly that it left him crippled his entire life, he never hit his own kids. Sometimes he would have dark moods, because he would remember how badly he was treated as a child. But, the humor helped him survive it too. I'm actually writing he story of his childhood with the help of a local author and counselor and a priest. I am hoping it will get published and help in the fight against child abuse. The counselor and priest are both going to write forewards for the book when it is ready to be submitted. I don't understand how anyone can beat their children. My dad broke the cycle, so I don't know what that is like, but I know it plagued him all of his life. My dad used to have a pet guinea pig, and he would take it out at night and let it crawl on him. I have a picture of him where my dad has a cigarette hanging out of his mouth, and the guinea pig is sitting on his chest right next to my dad's face (my dad was lying down at that moment) with a cigarette hanging out of its mouth. Of course, the cigarettes were not lit or he would not have put one in his guinea pigs mouth, but it is such a funny picture. Then, he had me take a picture of him right after that where he had the lid on a bottle of whiskey so that the guinea pig couldn't get any and the guinea pig was chewing on the lid so that it looked like it was drinking and my dad was holding a can up with a big smile on his face like he was saying, "Party." It was funny. I guess you have to see the pictures to really get how funny they were though.
May 28, 2012
Storyas Fawnfeather
jb - that remark about not being able to get the kettle over his neck - that is really funny.
May 28, 2012
dream moon JO B
he woz 76 yrs wen he died wen he start geting pooly yrs ago thy sad it woz bronkotters then the said it woz asmer thn thy said it woz c o p d then lung desese then it woz resperty desese my dad woo say thy wont to make thr mind up wot it is he woz always making joke out of thngs storyas he told me 1s ther woz a hole in the sink and the tollit i went to hav a look and said i cund find it he told me to look a gan thn i trigi the hole wer the water gose doon and the hole wer u sit i wish he woz still hear making evry 1 laff i supose his doing it up thr now making thm all laf it the minit im sick of people telling me to get over him i cant get over him coz he woz my dad and that i loved him still do
May 29, 2012
Storyas Fawnfeather
jb - i so sorry you went through that with doctors. We face that with doctors a lot in the US. They kept changing my dad's diagnosis and at the end said he had Parkinsons but they never did the test on him and he really didn't have many of the symptoms. I kept begging the doctor to do tests on him to see what was wrong and the doc finally got mad at me for asking too much and said, "Okay, fine - you want a diagnosis, I'm going to guess he has Parkinson's but I'm not putting an old man through the test cuz he's gonna die soon any way, so get off my back." Then, after he got that diagnosis that was based on nothing, other things that didn't fit into that diagnosis didn't get treated, and then he died. His last few months were in a nursing home, and it got heavily fined and closed down for neglect and abuse, and now some of his medical providers might loose their license. It's shameful how too many medical providers treat old people. Don't they realize they will be old one day too? I know how you feel - I'll learn to cope with loosing my dad, but I'll never get over it. You only get one dad, which makes him priceless. The same for your mom. You only get one of each parent, so they are precious. They are priceless. I do like your dad's sense of humor. The reason I said I wonder if it comes from you living near Scotland and my family originally being from there is that many of my uncles on my mom's side of the family have the same humor. My Uncle Ed, who has also passed away, was very funny too. The jokes your dad tells are very similar to the jokes the men in my family tell, especially my dad and my Uncle Ed. Me and my dad used to go to a restaurant 4 or 5 mornings a week for breakfast before he got so bad he had to go in a nursing home for a short time before he died. He was very good friends with the waitresses, and one morning they were jokingly acting like it was the Jerry Springer show and they were fighting over my dad, and they had the whole restaurant laughing. There was even a mom and daughter who worked in that restaurant, and they were saying, "But he's mine." You had to be there, but it was really funny. All the other customers were laughing and laughing.
May 29, 2012
dream moon JO B
i no wot u mean abot drs they all go agan st eash other storyas wen thy did the psotmortm on him he died of heart failer kidny falir liver failer rsperty failer sam as his sisters i wish he never had a psotmortim wen the results com bac it mad us all feal worse that he suferd lik tht
May 29, 2012
Storyas Fawnfeather
jb - i am so sorry that he had to go through that and that you all are having to suffer with that knowledge now. I don't know what is wrong with medicine any more. It seems to have lost spirit heart and compassion and only be pure physical. It's such a shame. I am so sorry your dad suffered, and I am sorry for what you are going through now. I find myself often focusing on my dad's suffering when he was alive, and I get so sad and feel such guilt that I didn't succeed in making it better even though I fought on his behalf like nothing I thought I was capable of doing. But, I'm going to share something with you that might make you think I'm nuts, but maybe it will make you feel better. After my dad died, I was grieving so bad. I went to have Reiki done. I don't know if Reiki has made it to your portion of the UK, but it is a hands on healing thing from Japan. I can explain it more if you want me to, or you may be very familiar with it. While the guy was doing Reiki on me, he bent over and whispered in my ear, "Your dad is here." I started crying and said, "Is he okay?" The guy got this quizzical look on his face and kinda shook his head like he couldn't believe I would doubt he was okay, and he said, "Yeah." Then he said, "Your dad told me that his arms hurt from wanting to hug you so bad." I began to suspect then that something was happening that was real, because that is how my dad used to explain himself in life. He'd say how what he felt felt in his body - like I want to hug you so bad it hurts my arms. Then, he said my dad told him that he had a hard transition (he was very sick at the end) but he was okay now. I again suspected the guy was really talking to my dad, because I knew my dad had a hard transition. Not only did he suffer a lot at the end, but he was struggling with dying. He was afraid to die, because he was a child abuse survivor and he didn't trust parents and God is our heavenly parent, so my dad was really scared when he died. Had this guy told me my dad had landed on the other side in a field of flowers and butterflies, I would have known he was full of crap. But, he said my dad had a hard transition. I was starting to feel like something was really happening. Then, he told me that my dad said to tell me that he'd made his transition harder than it needed to be by being so hard-headed in life and said he'd always been hard headed, but he wanted me to know he was okay now and once he had figured out what was happening to him and understood that he was safe in transitioning that everything became okay. Well, most people say stubborn where i live now, but my dad always said hard headed. My dad was the only person I knew who still said hard headed. So, when that guy said my dad said he had been hard headed in life (his child abuse history sometimes made him not trust right away and he'd get stubborn to protect himself until he understood he was safe), I really began to suspect that this guy was really talking to my dad. Plus, that is how my dad lived his life - he became hard headed at his transition until he understood he was safe and then he relaxed and let good things happen to him. This was the first time I'd met this Reiki guy, so how did he know all that about my dad. I certainly didn't tell him. All I told him was that I was grieving my dad and needed help through it. I did not tell him one thing about my dad. Not one thing! So, I think that both of our dads left the suffering that was the end of this life to go to a place where they are safe. So, we can stop feeling bad about their suffering, because I truly believe they are not suffering any more. And, I fought the nursing home my dad was in to make sure no one else got hurt, and I won. So, all we can do from here is pray for medicine that it will improve and treat people better and with more compassion and make reports against bad doctors to save others from suffering.
May 29, 2012
dream moon JO B
we had a freind yrs ago storyas who cud tark to the sprit world she new wen thr woz gona be a desater pr wen sum 1 woz gon give nirh or get marid or wen sum 1 woz going to die but she never protdict her own death but she left her gift to 1 of her dorters so thy mite help she woz tht good it woz sum tims skary
May 29, 2012