You're too young to be a widow

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I never thought that I would be a widow in my forties.  My friends can't relate and feel the need to comment on everything, even if they have no experience with grief.  I know they mean well but only we know what we are going though.

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So lost - he was taken from me at 52

by Angie

Aug 13, 2016

I woke up last Friday, 8/5 to find my husband gone. He passed overnight of a heart attack. It was completely unexpected. We had a good evening the night before and it was the last thing I would have thought. We were together 18 years- married for 17. There are no children and we live away from family. I took him back home for burial so he isn't even close to me now. I don't know what to do, how I will get through this. My heart is breaking inside. Everyone says they understand but if you haven't lost ahusband you don't really understand.
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    Kelly

    Hi Angie,

    My husband passed in the same way on June 4, 2016 - the day before my birthday. It was our 2nd marriage for both of us, we didn't have children together but each had children from our 1st marriage. My youngest daughter, just the week before, had her Grad ceremony. We were so happy, our nest was almost empty, you see, we had plans to retire in 2 years, were going to build a house.....I was so shocked and still am, my brain doesn't work most days. No one understands that hasn't lost a spouse,  you are right about that. My biggest peeve is that people ask how I am..............I can't fake it and say, Good. because I am not, I am still shocked and fearful of everything in life. I feel like I literally live hour by hour. I can't comprehend time passing, eating is difficult, making decisions is not easy. I find it hard to talk to anyone about how I feel because they don't know. If you want to chat, I will answer. Maybe we can somehow get through this together.

    Kelly

    Aug 28, 2016

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      Ruthie

      Angie, I lost my husband at age 51 in an accident and so when I went to those grief groups everyone was in their 60s and 70s and I am in my 40s and totally could not relate to them.. as our 27 year old daughter just married last year and we so were looking forward to having grandkids.  Now my daughter and I just do not know if that will ever be in the picture as our loss is so great.  Yes, 52 is way to young, and I can understand your pain. Take care, your not alone in your pain.

      Sep 26, 2016

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        ShingingLight1967

        Hi Angie:

        I too lost my husband suddenly to a heart attack.  that day he walked out the door to go to work, kissed me on the head and left.  We were texting about our mini getaway over Christmas, I was telling him about the hotel and how much fun we would have, I never heard his voice.  the next thing I got was a call from the social worker at the hospital wanting information about his medications. 

        I didnt even get to hear his voice one last time. 

        No one understands this pain. No one understands that I didnt get to hear his voice one last time. I didnt get to look into his eyes and tell him I loved him.  And no one understands that I was the one tasked whether or not to take him off of life support and effectively took his life.  The guilt I have felt about this decision everyday has haunted me.

        I am giving you hugs and letting you know that this site will understand exactly what you are feeling

        Oct 15, 2016