Not that losing a sister is anymore painful then losing any loved one, but for me it's different. I have lost loved ones before but losing my 43 year old sister was losing the best person in my life. I was truly blessed with the fact that my sister and me were very close. She was my best friend, my only best friend. I have other friends and other close friends, but not like my sister. We were only a year and half apart. We grew up together and remained very close all of our lives. We talked everyday, we saw each other numerous times a month even though she lived an hour and half away. Losing her was losing myself and I can never get that back. I love you Tracey may you rest in peace and be forever pain free

She was only 11 months older than me, she was 31 full of life, love and kindness. growing up we hated each other and then grew to be great friends. i miss her!!

Karla, I'm so sorry for your loss. Because me and my sister were only a year and a half apart we also hated each other. But after school and we went our seperate ways, we became very close and stayed that way for over 20 years. Our sisters are always with us. They help make us what we are today. Hang in there Karla this grief stricken road does start to get smoother as time goes on.

My sister is in the process of going thru the stages of death. She is only 52. She is also my best friend. I am going this pretty much alone. There is no help from any other family members. I hurt so much for her. It is so hard to watch her die. I am having a very hard time knowing she will gone soon. I just lost my mother March 25th. So I haven't even had the time to grieve for her. What am I gonna do?

Oh Dinese, I am so sorry you have to go through this. First I am so sorry about your mom. You are certainly having a tough time. What you are going to do is TALK to anyone and everyone. It really helps. Just know that your sister won't be in pain, it is harder on those of us who have to watch. Talk to your sister. Tell her that you love her and be there every second you can. Please seek out your friends and ask for help. Ask them for support and don't be afraid to take it. Does your sister have family? Be with them, don't go through this alone. And if you need anyone, I can be a phone call away. Or if you are in NJ, I can be there for you. God bless you Dinese & I wish you all the strength you need to get throught this.

I lost my sister a little over a year ago. I miss her everyday. I just want talk with her. She was my best friend. My sister and I are only 2 years apart and as a kid we did everything together. As an adult she move away but she always came home for christmas and Nordic Fest (small town celebration). She was only 34 when she died. I never got to say goodbye. I had talked with her on the phone the day of her accident and we were making plan for her to come home for a visit. She was a second mom to my boys. I am not sure what my future looks like without her in it. Right now I rely a lot on my folks. I spend most days with them. I can't imagine what will happen when I do not have them. My husband does not understand and he does not talk about my sister.
I am just babbling. I am so sorry for all of you that have lost a sister. A sister is a blessing from God and I hope that joining this group it will help me not feel so alone.

I lost my sister and best friend on 8/1/10, she was 42 years old. We may not have seen each other every day but we talked at least once a day every day. And most weeks at least a couple times a week you could find us together. My head knows she is in a better place but my heart hasn't caught up to that fact. I miss her terribly and it's a struggle just to get through the day and the nights are even worse. I can't seem to turn it off and go to sleep. The what ifs are making me crazy and realisticly I know I couldn't have stopped this, her body was wore out (from type 2 diabetes and other realated health issues) and i know she is at peace now but I want to be selfish. I want her back, she was mine and no one had the right to take her from me. She was 12 years older than me but she was a second mother to me from the moment I was born...my mom use to joke and say that God forgot to tell Tracy she was my sister not my mother. I'm hoping that by talking on here that I can begin to heal. I don't think the pain will ever go away but maybe I can remember all the good times...

Emily,

I am so sorry that this has happened. I know how you feel. I lost my sister March 14 and it has been one of the hardest things I have ever had to deal with. I miss her daily. Like you we did not get to see other often but spoke on the phone quite often. She would call me and say "hey sister" sometimes I can still hear her say that.
Also, like you I know she is in a better place, but it still doesn't take away the hurt and pain I feel.

I will talk to you soon. many hugs and blessings to you and your family!

I think I have cried all that I can and something brings it all back. I try to stay busy but I can't focus on anything...I feel so lost. I don't know what to do. It was a week ago today that we buried my sister and best friend. I had a voice mail on my phone today and checked it and found a message from her...it made me so happy to hear her bright sunny voice but so sad that is the last I will ever hear it.

I have went a year now without my sister and the pain hasn't gotten better at all. The thing that you can do is pretend you are ok around other people because they think that if you don't get on with your life then something is wrong with u. The thing I hate hearing the most is it will get easier. The only way it will get easier is if she would still be here.

I lost my sister to lung cancer six years ago. I miss her every day. To help me deal with the loss I decided to do something positive and dedicate a garden in her memory. The garden has provided me a place to visit her memories and she in turn sends me messages in the form of flowers and fruit. Take a look when you feel the time is right. You can dedicate a flower to your wife---others has found that helpful. www.mysisterdalesgarden.com

My younger sister Julie left me on Dec 9,2008. Her death anniversary is approaching. She was 32, my only sister, my best friend. She was sick for four months with an infection to her brain, and I visited her in Belgium in October 2008. She was sad she couldn't show me stuff and asked me to visit her in April so she can do stuff with me. The day I left she asked me to stay for one more day, but I had to come back to Toronto. I miss her so much. I have no words...Life is so painful...We used to talk everyday.With lots of family issues with my mom and dad she was my rock and I was hers. I feel so alone...

Day after tomorrow dec 9 will be two years --Julie left me on that day
I am panicking,can't sleep, can't think..I miss her ............

My older sister, Sarah, dies November 16, 2008. She had just turned 30 days before being rushed to the hospital. She was there for almost 3 weeks before finally passing. Sarah was 4 years older than me and growing up I idealized her. She was not only my sister, but my best friend, my sounding board, my everything. She was diagnosed at the age of 9 with Juvenile Diabetes (Type 1 Diabetes). Sarah spent 21 years battling this disease since she never really accepted the fact that she had diabetes and would always have it until they found a cure.

 

On October 28, Sarah was rushed to the hospital after my father found her near comatose in her apartment after falling ill the day before. The problem with diabetics is when they become sick, unlike "healthy" people, their illness can take a turn for the worse very quickly. The strange thing is, Sarah knew what she was supposed to do when she got sick. This wasnt her first rodeo. But for whatever reason, she didnt call the doctor or anyone for that matter.

 

8hours of being in the trauma room in the ER, she was finally brought up to ICU where the nurses tried to intubate her (start on a breathing machine). During this process, she stopped breathing 3 times before they were able to successfully intubate her through her nose. What we didnt know at the time was that each time she stopped breathing part of her brain was dying. It took 3 weeks for us to realize that regardless of what was going on inside her body (kidney loss, infections, heart attack), she would never be the same again.

Sarah was in a coma for those long 3 weeks and I was there, next to her side each and every day. In the back on my mind I was preparing for the worst (at night I would go to her apartment and "clean"). But during the day I had a smile on my face and positive thoughts to share with the nurses, doctors, and my family. I really really wanted that miracle you see on TV when the person wakes up and it completely healthy. I kept waiting for the doctors to have good news. But that never happened and the doctors only had bad news to share. I was ready and willing to spend every day of the rest of my life waiting next to her, holding her hand until she got better, but it wasnt until my father looked at me and said "I cant do this anymore". In my mind, we were killing her if we were turning the machines off. The doctors told us they would stop giving her insulin and stop the feeding tube. The only thing that Sarah would have was a morphine drip for the pain. I couldnt wrap my head around all of this. If God wanted her dead, why couldnt she just die on her own...with all the machines still on? Why did we have to make the decision to turn everything off?

 

It took Sarah 2 days to finally pass on her own. Her whole life, she ran on what I referred to as "Princess Time". And by golly she wasnt going to leave this world any other way. Sarah waited until we left the room to have lunch to begin her final passage. When we got back into the room, she took a couple more breaths and then she was gone. November 16, 2008 at 2:52pm. It was the worst and best time. I knew she was no longer in pain or suffering and could always watch over me, my brother and younger sister like the big sister always did....but I still wanted her here, next to me.

 

It's been over 2 years and it still hasnt got any easier. I still find myself wanting to go over to her apartment when Im bored. I find myself picking up my phone to call her to tell her a funny joke, ask her to lunch, or bitch about life. But she's not there anymore. She cant answer. 

 

About a year ago it hit me that Sarah wont be here to be my bridesmaid. I cried so hard over something so silly. Sarah never had the chance to get married or have babies or anything that she really wanted to do in life. It's not fair. And I find myself having panic attacks when I think about all the things I havent done yet. I dont want to die before finishing "my bucket list".

Sarah still finds her way into my dreams every now and then. I love those dreams. For the longest time though, she would appear and we would be in the hospital and she would still be alive. I would try to explain to her that she died and then catch myself and stop, hoping that she wasnt dead.

 

SInce Sarah's death, I have pushed everyone away without realizing it. It's almost like I dont want to be close to anyone again in fear that I will lose them like I did her. I dont want to go through the death of another person I love so dearly. I've dealth with the loss of my mom and 2 friends, but none of those affected me the way Sarah's loss did.

Stephanie my sister younger sister Julie passed away on dec 9,2008. She was in the hospital for a while, went into a coma and then she just left us. SHe was my only sibling and it is still as painful as day 1. I understand exactly how you you feel. I am afraid to face another death of a loved one and sometimes that fear consumes me. I don`t know what to do.........it is tough

Hi Jennifer. It is very tough to deal with. I just started reading some new books in hopes that they will shine some much needed light my way. I will post once I finish them to see if they are any good =). It's strange, 2 months after Sarah died, I was up every morning working out and getting on with life. Then, my brother and I took a trip to Colorado to spread some of her ashes while hiking and once we got back, it hit me. She wasnt here anymore. She REALLY really wasnt here anymore and I just left part of her in a cold snowy place I wasnt sure she would like. After that trip I fell into a deep depression. I cut off the entire world except for my live-in boyfriend and close family. Even then, things between my boyfriend and I havent been the same. It's like he doesnt know what to do or say to help. And I dont know what to tell him to do to help. All I know is that it has slowly been getting better. I started anti-depressants but shortly quit taking them after 3 months of them making me feel worse.

Im certain things will get better and some days are easier than others. I just wonder how long until all the days are better?

It's been two and a half months since I lost my sister. She died in a horrific car accident. She was on her way to yoga class and a man coming in the opposite direction slid directly in front of her and collided with her head on. I don't think that I will ever accept the fact that she's gone forever. I still want to hear her voice and see her smile. I too agree that life is really not fair. There are so many people who want to die because of illness and so on and here my poor sister was with a voracious drive to live and she gets killed in the process.  I will never understand why this had to happen. I keep hoping that this is just a nightmare that I will eventually wake up from but everyday I wake up to reality and I become more depressed. I hate it when people say it will get better with time.....I think its the opposite because the slow realisation sinks in that she's never ever coming back.