Brad Busby
  • Male
  • Waco, TX
  • United States
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About Me:
I am 54, now retired/disabled
About my Loss:
My father passed in 1983 and that was of course pretty tough on a 20 something college student, after i graduated college i took a job in my home town so that i could help my mom with things. she worked and was very independent so things were fine, for years to come, then in 2000 she had to quit work that she loved at age 74 due to knee problems and soon after a bout with breast cancer, she kicked the cancer and had knee surgery and i was there to take care of her as she had to move into my house, i was now single again and was glad to be able to help (i have no siblings or children) in 2005 they found lung cancer and she kicked that (she was very strong willed and had a very positive outlook on life) about 2008 i noticed changes in her mentally by 2009 she stopped working her games on the computer and stopped doing her puzzle books, and later she stopped watching her tv programs all together. in 2009 she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. now i was taking care of her pretty much 24/7 of course she could no longer drive or do many of the things she use to love to do, such as cooking, etc.

she moved into stage 2 Alzheimer's late 2011 and by March of 2012 i had a bit of help with home care, but that was only 2 days a week, but was very thankful for them., on August 20th 2012 mom suffered an aneurysm in the brain which caused a severe hemorrhagic stroke, mom suffered in ICU and later Hospice in the hospital for 10 more days, it was the hardest thing i had ever been through to watch her wither away knowing there was no hope and nothing i could do but pray that she would be out of pain in those last days, i had support from many friends and cousins (all of my aunts and uncles had already passed on) when she passed at 11pm that night even though i knew it was coming at any moment it just tore me up, the only person who ever loved me completely and unconditionally was gone., the sense of loss was almost more than i could handle, the worst times are when i am in this house alone and the thoughts start to pour in, i am a grown man who has been through many hard times in my life but nothing has ever caused this much pain to me, i feel like i have lost a part of my soul. i know the hurt never goes away and i know that she is no longer in pain and is with my dad and her mom and dad. but at times i feel like what now? what is my purpose in life, i just spent the last several years taking care of my mom and now what do i do.

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