Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
I lost my father on November 4, 2011 one week before my birthday. It was sudden. I still can't believe he is gone. I miss his voice and his jokes. I dont know how to go on without him. My aunt told me not to make sad a lifestyle. I know she is right, but I am so sad that my heart hurts. I was daddy's little girl. I am an only child and have no one to turn to. I worry about my mom being alone. I don't want to go anywhere or do anything or even talk to anyone. I force myself to go out and do things. I am tired of putting on a happy face when I am dying inside. I suffer from anxiety and depression and it has gotten much worse since his death. I thought about seeing a grief counselor, but I feel like there is nothing anyone can say or do to make it better. Unless they can bring him back, which I know is impossible. How do I move on? I cry almost everyday and everynight when I go to bed I replay the day he died over and over. His birthday is coming in the beginning of February and I am dreading it.
Thanks for listening.
Stephanie
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hi stephanie,
i am so sorry for what you're going through, i know how much it can hurt. i lost my dad in july of 2011, the day before my wedding so it has been devastating on so many different levels. i was really close to him, much more than the rest of my family. i know right now it may not seem like it but the pain does get more manageable. it's never going to go away completely but you'll get to a point where you can function and even have happy days again. it's been almost 6 months for me and i can't believe how much healing has happened in that time when i think about where i was even 2 months ago. i do still replay the day he died often, almost daily but it doesn't feel as obsessive as it used to. i went to a greif counselor and it did help, especially with things like intrusive thoughts. now at least i am able to remember him in a happy way instead of just thinking about his death.
we're all here to listen, i hope things get better for you. just remember that your dad loved you and would want you to live your life and be happy.
-megan
Hi Stephanie,
I wish I didn't identify with how you feel but I do. It has been 5 months now since my Daddy died, and I too was a "Daddy's girl". He was the one person I could talk to, to share with, to go to with any troubles. He thought the world of me. I am losing friends because I can't get up the energy to be around people much. I sense that people close to me are getting tired of me crying about my dad. I even had a friend tell me it was childish that I was crying over the fact my mother didn't call me on my birthday, knowing my beloved father is gone, making it seem worse. I feel like an orphan. I know logically there is nothing I can do, that sitting around depressed isn't helping anybody...but the pain is so great to bear, that it zaps me physically. Most days I am just numb not knowing what to do. I know that nothing in life lasts forever but day after day of this pain is so great. Therapy, meds, etc. ,etc., do not appeal to me as I know it will only prolong what I need to get through. I don't need anyone to tell me to think positively, to move forward, to appreciate what I did have with my dad, etc. It's such garbage. I just need to heal.. and how that will happen, I don't know.
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