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Sudden Death of My Husband

Last Monday, my husband, who was driving himself to the hospital, went into cardiac arrest. His heart stopped beating for 30 minutes. He was put on a ventalator, which we disconnected on Wednesday. He had passed away immediately it seems.

I had no time to prepare fur such an event. I spoke to him at 8am about his pain in the arm, and he underestimated it, and was gone by 9am. No time to say goodbye, nothing. It feels as if my heart has been ripped open, and I do not know what to do. Thankfully, there are many friends and family who have been calling, comming to visit, sending emails to hold me up, but it still is very difficult.

Any advice on what to read, or what steps to take to walk through this horrible grief.

Thank you.

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Permalink Reply by Eve on June 5, 2009 at 7:02pm

My husband's death was not sudden. I thought I was prepared for him to go and was handling the grief very well. Then I found out I'd just been stuffing it away and ignoring it. I have no great words of wisdom to offer you. But you do have my sympathies. I miss my husband very much, as I know you miss yours. Some days are better than others, some are worse. Don't hide from your grief the way I did - that only prolongs the process. Just go one day at a time, knowing that it will get better.

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Permalink Reply by Katherine Ellis on June 7, 2009 at 12:57am

Eve, I did the same thing when our daughter died. I was so busy taking care of everyone else I forgot to take care of myself. 7 years later it hit me and I am in couciling now. I'm glad you caught yours sooner. I'm so sorry for your loss. I know your days have to be so empty. I am praying for you. (((hugs)))) Katherine

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Permalink Reply by Ted Wiard on July 2, 2009 at 8:58am

Blessings to you all. When my wife died I spent most of my energy focusing on my daughters. With their sudden deaths a few years later, I found myself stripped and blinded by loss. Today I run a small retreat center that helps those in need with grief and loss. It is called Golden Willow Retreat. Please pull it up and see if it can be of help for anyone you know. www.goldenwillowretreat.org
I also write a newspaper column in the Taos News and I answer questions about emotional healing from loss. Please send any questions that you would like to see explored to gwr@newmex.com
Blessings to you all. Ted Wiard

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Permalink Reply by healing07 on July 3, 2009 at 5:13am

I m very sorry for heard about your loss. Its such a horrible loss. I know its very tough time for you. 3 years ago my uncle have been also in same situation. My uncle died with heart attack and he stopped beating for 7mins. Its difficult to deal with our grief. I loved him very much and miss him lot.
I understand your feelings what you feel this time. You should trying to deal with your grief but I know its difficult. When we lost our loved one, its so painful to us. Its all in God's hand, we are nothing against God's power. You should go to grief counseling for deal with your horrible grief. Its really helpful community.
I pray to God for you.

condolences