Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by gramaokie on August 20, 2010 at 11:34pm

Lilly: I notice it's been a while since you posted, but I wanted to let you know that I care. My suggestion would be to create a memory book either a hard copy or online. Just like people keep baby books for all of the little things babies do, you could include the precious events, funny sayings, etc. that you don't want to forget about your husband. My daddy died May 7, 2010. My mom journals every night like she was talking to him. You could use journaling to record your love and how much you miss him. I've created memory books for Daddy & for my brother who died March 9, 2010. They're just more about the funerals, the music, the eulogies, and I included a page in each book with pictures of some of their favorite things. I sent a copy of Daddy's to my 3 aunts who were unable to travel for the funeral. It really meant a lot to them. I know how precious memories become to us when our loved ones are gone. So, it is important to hold on to them however possible. Good luck & God bless!!

Permalink Reply by Cheryl Kolve on August 22, 2011 at 9:13am

Hi. Just wanted to tell you that you are a wonderful person to have thought about your Aunts who weren't able to come for the funeral! What a great idea and a true treasure! Bless your heart!!!

Permalink Reply by Julie Dolsey-Weiss on July 8, 2011 at 6:09pm

My dad died in 2005 and it is getting harder to remember his face so i look at his picture, some days i can not bare to do that. My mom died in 2009 and i can not look at her ashes or pictures it hurts too much. Your husband will never leave you, i find little memories of my dad and mom pop up and i dream about them and they are alive. They will make me laugh and i can hear his voice he was a funny guy and i remember that.

 

I even remember and focus on the last time i saw my mom, she passed sitting up on her bed all alone. I will never forget that and sometimes i focus on that so i dont forget her but if anybody falls asleep, my heart races and i think they may have died as she left me so quickly.....

Permalink Reply by Stefanie Parise on July 20, 2011 at 9:58am

I can hardly look at pictures, either. I was just getting to a place where I could look at pictures of my mom and even study them .. to try to remember what she was like, since she passed when I was only 6. But now that my dad is gone... I can't look at the pictures of them for too long anymore. It hurts too much.

 

In response to the original poster: I seriously doubt you will ever forget much about your husband. When you truly love someone - they tend to be all you think about..whether they're here or not. But it isn't a bad idea to scrapbook about them if it isn't too painful to do so. I don't think I could get through one page without crying hysterically.. LOL. But someday I will look into it, because it is a great idea!

Permalink Reply by Cheryl Kolve on August 22, 2011 at 9:09am

Hi Lilly, I haven't lost a husband but I am no stranger to loss. In answer to your question; I would probably make a "memory board" with a bunch or a few pictures of him and of you, family...and whatever else you want to post on it. Then I would sit down and write a bunch of memories that I don't want to forget and place those on the board too. It can be "your own board" and you can post whatever you want to on it. You can leave it out of put it away (under your bed?) and just have it "for you", because it's what YOU NEED. Don't feel guilty about it, don't feel like you are going crazy! Just feel what you feel. I guess my advice would be, do whatever it is that will help you with this pain that you feel. Time does HEAL but each of us heals at a different rate and that's OK. Just remember to bring yourself back to the present when you feel you have gone through enough time of looking through everything and then "just breathe". I thought my counselor was nuts when she told me that. She said I have to bring myself back to the present and just breathe. It was the BEST advice she could have given me. Hope this helps. One Day At A Time...