Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by nadia on June 17, 2011 at 3:43pm

Dear Kelly

I have had some very intense experiences to make me believe that there is more after life here and to feel that my sister is around me... this comes form sn like me who was never spiritual... I am reluctant to discuss with people here as I have the feeling they woudl think i am going mad... Ther are memnt I feel i may be going mad.. or looking too much for sg to feel the void adn give me some hope... would you mind sharing some of your experiences??

 

Permalink Reply by Deborah Dodds on June 17, 2011 at 4:01pm

I feel Randy's energy all the time.  Especially where I sit at my computer all the time and write to him.  I can feel him behind me with his hands on my shoulders.  Sometimes I automatically tilt my head as if he is giving me a kiss on my neck.  I get chills and my hair stands up as if I can feel his breath.  He was an artist.  His last drawing I received was a boy angel kissing the cheek of a mortal woman.  Kinda haunting.  As if he knew.  He kept telling me the night before on the phone that he felt weird but couldn't explain it.  The next morning he was killed. 

I really feel him when I am journaling to him.  It's as if I can hear his thoughts communicating with me.  His thoughts answer me or talk to me sometimes.  The feeling was more intense when he first died.

Permalink Reply by Kelli C. on June 17, 2011 at 5:19pm

I can understand why you would feel reluctant to talk to others about your experience,  most people do understand, but believe me, I have definitely had a few raised eyebrows too.  Here is one thing I would like to share with you:

All of my life when things are not going so well, I will suddenly start noticing hearts everywhere I go - whether it is a heart shaped cloud, a rain puddle or my pancake batter pours out into the shape of a heart (without me trying to do that).  And when I see those things, I know that is a sign that everything is going to be okay.

When my brother died in the fire, my mother and I flew down south to take care of arrangements.  The next day, I wanted to go to his house so I could put roses where they found his body. Everything was burned to the ground and without going into detail, it was an extremely devastating and emotional experience for me.  I was very shaken up and after I laid the roses down, I turned towards the driveway which was filled with sparkling granite stones and for no special reason, I stopped in one particular spot in the driveway by the car and just happened to look down.  There, right in front of my foot, there was only one stone (out of all of those stones) that was sparkling in the sunlight - and it was a perfectly heart-shaped stone.  I carry it wherever I go and I know that no matter how horrible his death was, that my brother is okay now. 

Everyone that I tell this story to is completely amazed, especially when they see the stone.  There is no other explanation for me - out of the thousands of stones in that driveway, how did this perfectly shaped heart happen to be less than an inch away from my toes, and the only one that had the sunlight sparkling off of it? 

Nadia, if you feel that your sister is around you or have had experiences that was some type of communication, then I believe you.  You're not going mad and it is definitely a sign of hope. 

Permalink Reply by Deborah Dodds on June 17, 2011 at 5:41pm

Kelli, reading your experience gave me chills.  Good chills. :)  WOW!!! what an amazing experience.  Thanks for sharing.

Permalink Reply by nadia on June 18, 2011 at 3:42pm

Thank you for sharing ... I have been blessed to have repeated experiences which I feel are my sister... a tiny beautiful purple butterfly who appears around her grave flies around my twins (which she absolutely adored) then comes and stays with them or me.. it is so unusual as she is not interested in the flowers we have planted in the grave but us... First around one of the boys, then following day me. then my mum and then again my boys.. it keeps happening and it is always a purple butterfly...But the weirdest one was suddenly getting a message onher mobile which I am using and intent to keep saying in SHORTLY WITH YOU... it came on the screen out of blue, no sender, no time no date, no option to reply... I was staring at it for a good 5 minutes and then it was gone..  I have scrutinised all files in phone nothing.. I do not fully comprehend the message but I feel it is her... In my mind, I know it was her unless I had a momentary loss of sanity .. I feel it is her.. I want her to be her. The first momentof happiness the last 3 weeks.. This is so unusual as I have alwasy been the very practive common sense girl with little room for spirituality...I nevertheless feel that this was very much real...

I still miss my 'physical' sister so much too.. I have not touched for almost a 12 months as I live away from Greece and was so looking forward to hug her... I miss her physical self as well as her spirit, energy, her love.... I feel less brave the last couple of days... I need to keep a brave face for my mum and dad who are broken which I do most of time but I have days and hours when the longing and pain are so difficult to hide.... sending you my love thoughs and prayers...

 

Permalink Reply by Kelli C. on June 18, 2011 at 7:53pm

Nadia,

Thank you for sharing that story, it is so beautiful and it gives me more hope as well.  My mother had something similar happen with a bird after my brother died.  A few years ago when my brother was driving, he told us that a huge hawk flew alongside his passenger window for several miles.  He was just so blown away by that and was trying to keep an eye on the road and look at the hawk too and he said it just went on for the longest time.  He also said that he felt very strongly it was like some kind of message from our father.  So, when we were down in Texas, this bird just flew right up by my mother and just stared at her, and my mother said, are you trying to tell me something about Kevin?  and the bird immediately started chirping and singing to her - while looking directly at her - for at least a full minute or more.  She said she also had a very strong feeling that it was my brother around or some type of message that everything was okay. 

I think that is pretty amazing what happened with the message on the phone too and I really believe that they are able to communicate with us from the other side.  I know it sounds unbelievable and sometimes 'way out there', but I have heard a lot of stories from other people who also say they have gotten some type of message or feeling - whether it was a dream or scent of their perfume or something else.   

I know what you mean about missing your sister physically.  Even though we know that our loved ones are gone and are okay, it still isn't the same.  My brother traveled a lot, so we were used to him being gone for long periods of time, but we always knew he was coming back.  Now, everything has changed and it feels like things will never be 'normal' again.  But just remember, Nadia, even in your weakest moments, you are braver than you think.  I wish you love and blessings

Permalink Reply by pattie christianson on June 16, 2011 at 11:45pm

Deborah,

   How long was this man in your life?  I've heard that the more you loved a person the longer the grief can last.  only stands to reason right? don't expect for their to be one certain day. there won't.  what you will have are really good days, really sad days and everything else in between. nurture your heart as much as you can.  it might help for you to talk to him before you fall asleep and when you wake up.  take care of yourself because just as soon as you think that something starts to feel somewhat normal.  it changes. one thing for sure is that nothing will ever be the same again. god bless you.

Permalink Reply by Deborah Dodds on June 17, 2011 at 3:31pm

Thank you Pattie...Randy and I were together for 8 years.  We were definitely soul mates, best friends, lovers, husband and wife.  I love him with my heart and soul.  I will never ever love or be loved like that again.  I can't explain it.  I felt whole, complete as if I had finally found my other half.  This grief thing is not easy.  Yesterday was a good day but today I am having waves of tears and sadness.  As I told Kelli, I keep "seeing" the attack on my husband and seeing him fighting for his life.  I guess I just need to go with the flow and not fight it.  I am going back to school in the fall and will continue my internship.  May God bless you also. With Love Deb

Permalink Reply by nadia on June 17, 2011 at 3:09am

Dear Deborah,

I feel your pain ....I guess it will never really subside... it is less than a month since I lost my sister, with various moments of despair, composed calmness and anything in between and I guess it is not getting any easier.. I cannot imagine me being OK a year after...I tend to think that this would be my life from now on.. some happy moments with my kids, and bouts of sadness and grief.. My sister was a shining star and cannot feel but being overwhelmed with emptiness...I do not expect this to change... but it is hard to tell.. I am thinking I will try to embrace it , just ride with and things will move on...

Not that I am ready to move on I even feel crossed with the others ( not immediate family) moving on with their lives but this luckily does not last long.... I will miss her everyday for the rest of my life just like you and I guess there will always be those days.. but will try and think of these as another tribute.... I am sure there are some happy days when you think of your partner and smile and laugh for the good times together, for his warmth , spirit, energy ... try to think of these good things while sadness and tears take over... I do that I tend to cry more but also feel good too.. sad and blessed at same time... Thinking of you and you all.....nadia

Permalink Reply by Deborah Dodds on June 17, 2011 at 3:38pm

Nadia, I am so sorry for your loss.  I lost my sister in 1996 to cancer.  I still grieve but it has gotten easier.  I thought for sure that after the one year mark hit that I would be ok.  But I have come to realize that I will never be the same without Randy.  I must move on with my life and continue my education and internships.  Randy would want me to do that.  I do try to think of the happy times but they seem to make me cry more because I miss those happy times.  I do keep a journal where I write to Randy.  You see, he was in prison and we wrote to each other everyday.  So I still write and find it comforting.  It is a great outlet for my thoughts and feelings.  God Bless you Nadia and take it one day at a time

Permalink Reply by Tammy on June 25, 2011 at 12:11pm

Hi Deborah,

It's been 19 months since I lost my spouse, Jackie and I ask myself the same thing. It's still hard even after 19 months. I still cry and the waves of sadness send me crashing. I get so depressed. I don't think that "time" has any real meaning for us because when you lose the love of your life, your best friend then I think the sadness becomes a part of you. That doesn't mean that you stop living, but you have to create a new reality that includes the new spiritual relationship with your husband. I no longer look forward to when I feel will "better." Instead, I just try to take one day at a time. Deborah, I'm so sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself. 

Tammy

Permalink Reply by Deborah Dodds on June 25, 2011 at 2:27pm

Thank you Tammy, It is nice to know that I am not alone.  I guess I will be changed forever.  You are absolutely right that I need to take one day at a time.  The waves hit when I least expect it and I can't stop crying.  Take care of yourself too.  WIth love, Deborah

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