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Healing
Hello,
I've been reading the messages here and it's brought back memories of an earlier time in my grief. I feel for each of you. This loss is the most difficult of human struggles -- at least it has been for me.
I wanted to leave a message of hope to those of you who are looking for it. My story was as sad as any, but a time came when I returned to living again. I thought I was done with life, with happiness, with joy, and with love when my husband died at the age of 49. I, too, said the things that all of you are saying about wanting it to be over with. But life kept on and the worst of the grief healed in time. I think grievers don't hear that message much because these forums are -- rightfully so -- full of pain and sadness. Maybe those who get better and move on don't want to revisit here, and that's why there are so few uplifting messages.
I have a full life again. I will always miss my husband, and I wouldn't want it any other way. At some point, I made a decision to be open to living with all the joy it offers. My late husband is tucked inside my heart and he lives alongside me now, in a very different way than before but he is still near me.
It takes time, and it takes an open heart and willingness. At some point, you'll need to wake up in the morning and say, "I want to live again" and mean it. When you can say that honestly, you're life will start to change in small ways because you'll be receptive to changes. Before you know it, you'll be on your way.
Hugs to you all.
Trevy
Tags: healing, joy, moving, on
Views: 569
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Trevy Thomas on
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Dear Morgan,
I am sorry you're hurting this way. Of course there are no magic words to make it all better. No one will love you exactly the way he did. That's true. But it sounds like you do have some love in your life -- not the kind you want, but some. It's good to write it out as you have. I found that to be a release for me, like letting off steam.
There was a time when nothing anyone said or did pleased me or brought comfort. I thought everyone was just wrong because they weren't him. No one can understand exactly what each of us individually feels, but none of us is the only one experiencing this. We are all still of this world. And we are all humans experiencing the most difficult emotional torment there is.
I hope you do find some peace, and comfort, and joy in world of the living. I hope time grants you some ease from your suffering.
Trevy
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Permalink Reply by Vicki on
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Dear Morgan, I so feel you. Grief is not one size fits all. Everyone's story is different and so is the grieving process and recovery or lack of. We all come here to express our feelings without judgement. This is the place where we can find peace and love from people who understand the most. For me , when I read some posts, I find comfort in that I'm not alone in my thinking, my feelings, my grieving. I hope you can find some peace and comfort from all of us here as well. Love you and God Bless. I put all my life in HIS hands and go with whatever is meant to be. XO Viki
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Permalink Reply by bluebird on
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Amen to all of that, morgan. It is exactly the same for me.
Trevy, I'm sure you mean well, and I'm also sure that your post will be helpful and hopeful to some people who read it, which is good. But it simply doesn't apply to everyone, and that needs to be acknowledged and respected as well.
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Beautifully said Morgan. Every word, every raw emotion saw me nodding in agreeance.
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So perfectly said. I lost my husband 2 yrs ago at age 44. I thought I will never live again. Not only I had to worry about me , but my 2 kids, a new puppy, a new home, and a business we owned. All of which he took care mostly himself ( by choice) because he was a bit OCD. LOL. I literally had to LEARN to LIVE , on my own by my self. Well , 2 yrs later and I m still here, missing him always, but also having a new life, new love and we are all happy and healthy. That is all I want for me and my kids. I will never forget my husband, no one can ever be him, replace him or even come close to him. He was the best dad anyone could ever have. It's just a new life. not easy, but life is not supposed to be easy, or we get lazy. A little struggle, small steps, baby steps, I had to learn in order for my kids to be happy. I can go on and on but will end it for now for all of you. There is hope , do not give up, please go on. Especially if you have kids. LOVE YOU ALL. VIKI
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Vicki, that is heartwarming! Thanks for sharing your experience. I think often, the grievers who are feeling better are afraid to share because it may seem insensitive to those who are not. But when grief was new to me, I was desperate to see an example of someone who wasn't still hurting so much.
Like you, I had to learn my husband's business after he died. And he left me with a mess of heavy equipment and tools and piles of wood, and anxious clients and on and on. All I wanted was to stay in bed but I couldn't do it because of the mess I had to sort out. I hated it. Sometimes now, though, I wonder if that saved me a little exactly because I couldn't just go back to bed. Love to you too!
Trevy
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