Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Trevy Thomas on April 9, 2018 at 6:15am

Dear Morgan,

I am sorry you're hurting this way. Of course there are no magic words to make it all better. No one will love you exactly the way he did. That's true. But it sounds like you do have some love in your life -- not the kind you want, but some. It's good to write it out as you have. I found that to be a release for me, like letting off steam. 

There was a time when nothing anyone said or did pleased me or brought comfort. I thought everyone was just wrong because they weren't him. No one can understand exactly what each of us individually feels, but none of us is the only one experiencing this. We are all still of this world. And we are all humans experiencing the most difficult emotional torment there is.

I hope you do find some peace, and comfort, and joy in world of the living. I hope time grants you some ease from your suffering. 

Trevy

Permalink Reply by Vicki on April 16, 2018 at 11:53am

Dear Morgan, I so feel you. Grief is not one size fits all. Everyone's story is different and so is the grieving process and recovery or lack of. We all come here to express our feelings without judgement. This is the place where we can find peace and love from people who understand the most. For me , when I read some posts, I find comfort in that I'm not alone in my thinking, my feelings, my grieving.  I hope you can find some peace and comfort from all of us here as well. Love you and God Bless. I put all my life in HIS hands and go with whatever is meant to be.  XO Viki 

Permalink Reply by bluebird on April 29, 2018 at 9:13pm

Amen to all of that, morgan. It is exactly the same for me.

Trevy, I'm sure you mean well, and I'm also sure that your post will be helpful and hopeful to some people who read it, which is good.  But it simply doesn't apply to everyone, and that needs to be acknowledged and respected as well.

Permalink Reply by Geri on May 28, 2018 at 6:06am

Beautifully said Morgan. Every word, every raw emotion saw me nodding in agreeance. 

Permalink Reply by Vicki on April 11, 2018 at 10:56am

So perfectly said. I lost my husband 2 yrs ago at age 44. I thought I will never live again. Not only I had to worry about me , but my 2 kids, a new puppy, a new home, and a business we owned. All of which he took care mostly himself ( by choice) because he was a bit OCD. LOL. I literally had to LEARN to LIVE , on my own by my self. Well , 2 yrs later and I m still here, missing him always, but also having a new life, new love and we are all happy and healthy. That is all I want for me and my kids. I will never forget my husband, no one can ever be him, replace him or even come close to him. He was the best dad anyone could ever have. It's just a new life. not easy, but life is not supposed to be easy, or we get lazy. A little struggle, small steps, baby steps, I had to learn in order for my kids to be happy. I can go on and on but will end it for now for all of you. There is hope , do not give up, please go on. Especially if you have kids. LOVE YOU ALL. VIKI

Permalink Reply by Trevy Thomas on April 11, 2018 at 11:20am

Vicki, that is heartwarming! Thanks for sharing your experience. I think often, the grievers who are feeling better are afraid to share because it may seem insensitive to those who are not. But when grief was new to me, I was desperate to see an example of someone who wasn't still hurting so much. 

Like you, I had to learn my husband's business after he died. And he left me with a mess of heavy equipment and tools and piles of wood, and anxious clients and on and on. All I wanted was to stay in bed but I couldn't do it because of the mess I had to sort out. I hated it. Sometimes now, though, I wonder if that saved me a little exactly because I couldn't just go back to bed. Love to you too!

Trevy

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