I found that venting some of the stupid things people say with others that hear them as well helped me with some of the frustration. We know they mean well but, Dont you just want to scream sometimes..... So lets Vent - Go for It..... Lets hear them----

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The only ones who understand my pain are people like you who've been through this and are still managing to breath in and out.

I hate when people say I'm sorry. What are you sorry for. Just don't say anything at all.

Kelly, when people say they are sorry, they simply don't know what to say. They have never experienced what you have. They never want to. They are struck with fear of the same happening to them and the gut wrenching imagining of that experience to them, or to you by proxy. I was once told, before the funeral for my son, that those who say "I'm sorry" feel your pain, but cannot bear very much of it and cannot express it in any other way. So they carry a tiny amount of your pain for you. It is the only thing they can do to try to help.

My mom asked me how I was doing on the morning of my sons funeral. I said that this was the second worst day of my life, (the worst being discovering my son dead and attempting CPR.) My MOM said, "well, he's already dead." I have no idea why that came out of her mouth. I Told her that I was burying my son today, and that made it the second worst. She did realize the absolute stupidity that she had spouted about two seconds earlier. I saw it in her face. I still can't believe it. My own mom.

My sister flew in from California for the funeral. She kept going on about her two kids. We have one two year old and lost our 17 day old son. She kept saying things like, "As soon as (older sister) tries something, (younger sister) has to try it." "I'm so glad my kids love being sisters." She said multiple things like this. She has a doctorate and is a counselor. You would think she would have some idea.

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