Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Paul on September 12, 2017 at 8:48pm

Maxey,
Please do not harm yourself with the pills. Your husband would not want you to do that to yourself.
All of us on this board are living in this unwanted and undeserved hell of losing loved ones. We are here for you. We are here for each other.

Permalink Reply by Ellis Gee on September 12, 2017 at 9:41pm

Maxey,
I know free advice can be worth what you pay for it (nothing) but here's some anyway: Go out there and find somebody to help. They're out there, and they need you.It's amazing what that will do for you.It worked wonders for me. And your husband will be looking down on you, and smiling.

Ellis

Permalink Reply by JenShep on September 12, 2017 at 9:56pm

Hi Maxey, I feel the same way that you do. I'm nearing the one year mark since I lost my husband. I told myself I'd give myself a year to see how it went before making such a big decision. It hasn't gotten better. In most ways it's actually worse. I'm sad to hear that you're at two years and you're still feeling this way. The only reason I can find to not take my life and hopefully join my love or at least end this awful suffering is that I've read about reincarnation and soul contracts and I think it might be possible that my husband and I planned this life for our souls to learn and progress and grow. I kind of heard him tell me that's what we did when I asked him why this is our life one time when I was meditating. I felt him tell me that I had wanted a huge growth spurt and he was willing because he loves me that much. If this is true then I HAVE to learn what I am supposed to from this incarnation. I can't waste the sacrifice he made. This all could be total crap, I don't know for sure but it is what has kept me here so far. I keep reading and researching trying to find what I believe it is all about and what my purpose is here and what the purpose of my husband's death is. I need answers. (Which I may never get but I keep trying.) Maybe there is something to this though. Maybe you are still here for a reason. And maybe if you take your life now you'll end up in another incarnation where you have to go through an awful experience like this over again because you skipped out early. I don't know what your beliefs are. I barely know what mine are. But it's worth trying to figure as much out for yourself as you can before doing something so irreversible. Sorry, this may not be comforting. Just trying to give you a reason to stick around.

Permalink Reply by Ericka on December 4, 2017 at 2:42pm

I grieve nearly every day, some days are worse than others. But, similar to your beliefs, I believe that we need to learn from this experience in this lifetime. I talk to my deceased husband through a medium once a month to help me cope. I know it sounds crazy, but it helps me greatly. Anyway, my husband said, through the medium, that he had to leave as part of our soul contract. It doesn't help my heartache, but it gives me a sense of purpose.

Permalink Reply by britt b on February 4, 2018 at 6:07pm

Would you care to share who your medium is? I have talked to several and found one good one but am always searching for new and different ways to connect.

Permalink Reply by britt b on February 4, 2018 at 6:06pm

you have described my exact situation. But exactly - in a meditation I heard from my partner that we had a soul contract that he would leave (very) early. He was only 34. I wanted to die for 6 months, but the ONLY thing stopping me was my belief that I would have to go through the same lesson all over again, and I could not take that. I MUST learn what it is that I am supposed to now. I may not get answers but I am still searching and will not stop.

Permalink Reply by Nancy on September 13, 2017 at 11:21am

8 Its only been 4 months for me and I too am numb. I have a very stressful job which isn't helping. I have a short fuse for sure. I'm considering one to one therapy before I lose my mind. I do not want to think about doing anything that would hurt my kids anymore than they already do. Have you thought about individual therapy?

Permalink Reply by CH on February 4, 2018 at 9:20pm

Nancy, do the individual therapy -making certain it is one with training and experience in GRIEF counseling otherwise it is waste of time. Best of luck. All of us have had fortune in experiencing such a deep love we all know that is why the loss is so painful.

Permalink Reply by Linda Engberg on September 13, 2017 at 4:55pm

Hi Maxey,

I lost my husband 4 years ago to cancer. There is not a morning since then that I wish I didn't wake up. I see a psychotherapist every two weeks and thanks to her I can still go through the motions of acting normal but deep inside I am lost in the crummy world without my rock, Julian.  

Permalink Reply by Pamela philipp on November 2, 2017 at 12:35pm

Maxey I’m sorry for the pain you feel ,I understand how you feel it turned 2years in September since my mom and husband left they both left this world in September of 2015 eight days apart and I honestly have been is this fog ever since I feel like my whole world has been flipped upside down and also have contemplated suicide the only things that stop me is the promise I made to my husband and my grandchildren and most days I still think about ending this constant pain I cry every day I have never felt so lost in my life but his memories keep me here because I know he would not want me to do that and I believe that your husband wouldn’t want you to do that either the only things that help me stay are my memories we had together please just try to remember all the love you have for your husband and I hope you can like me just take one step at a time it’s ok to grieve as long as you need there is no time limit I hope that you stay and I hope if you need someone to talk to I want you to know I m here I am going to send you a friend request I hope you except it if you ever need someone to talk to or cry with I’m here honey I hope you have a better day

Permalink Reply by Linda Engberg on November 2, 2017 at 2:34pm

Pamela,

After my Husband died I was ready to die with him, thanks to a wonderful grief councelsor and seeing a therapist, I still wake up each morning missing him even after 5 years, 

Permalink Reply by Laura Wallace on November 5, 2017 at 8:49am

Hi Maxey, you aren't alone in what your experiencing and going thru,  I'm so sorry for your pain, it hurts me for both of us. Everything you said is exactely how I feel , what I do , same actions or lack of , and wondering where  did I go and what happened to me.  Except the checking out part (present time).  

It's been 2 yrs and 7 months since my husband of 30 yrs has  been gone , he was working out of town. Life these days  have been a continuous cycle of emotional overload , I feel guilty when yet  another day goes by and I have done nothing or  talked to no one . Procrasternating about absolutely everything  has become second nature and I think it's my way of not giving or caring a darn bit. Everyday is a new chance to make a change for yourself ,  it doesnt matter how small ,   re routing  your thinking when its getting bad , a little prevention can go along way (lol),cause when those feelings start building up , you know they are coming and omg ,I dont want to cry anymore  , how much pain do I have to endure and then wondering if somethings wrong with me for not accepting the truth and the reality .

  We all desrve some peace of mind , I try to do the  15 minutes  of anything, anything, anything , to distract myself , re think ,   focus ,   and allow yourself a tiny spark of hope that surely its gonna get better , probably not easier tho,  seems harder everyday  cause it never fails to  shows me  another way I miss him . I am  sending good thoughts,  and positive energy  . Hugs 

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