Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Jackie cooke on June 9, 2017 at 2:52am

Richard I to am struggling with the emptiness and loneliness but there is absolutely no way I could consider being with anyone else. As painful as this life is I do not want to replace Shirl. I wouldn't judge anyone or blame anyone for moving on, but personally I have had my life, my love and I will be grateful everyday for the years we had together. I hope you are starting to feel a little better physically, I know you will never stop missing Annette xx

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Permalink Reply by Nora on June 9, 2017 at 8:00pm

I think, my dearest friends, that LOVE is the only base for any marriage. And LOVE just exists, it does not depend on our thinking about it, searching for it, even rejecting it. You cannot FIND love actually as it is always with you, inside your heart.

I also think that LOVE just happens. Waiting or not, planning or not....

I will never stop missing 3 men in my life who came loved me, left me and gave me their gifts of love. I cherish their love in my heart forever, it helps me going through this pain, knowing that 3 great men loved me. 

Now our hearts are hurt and bleeding - no a good time of thinking about some future love, but its a great time to find that seed in your heart and just keep watering it. We all have ourselves and we must love and accept ourselves.

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Permalink Reply by Jean on June 13, 2017 at 8:59pm

What a lovely way to accept the things that happen to us and the ones we love. Your message is one of hope and happiness. I have been struggling with the loss of my mother and a best friend. Now a loss of a long time friend of 40 years to a motorcycle accident in May. His wife is so strong in her faith that they will be together again. I admire her strength. I am feeling stronger but have been weak from all of the fall out from losing my mother. I let it overwhelm my life. She was my best friend and I miss her and by the constant grieving I failed to honor her and her life. I am doing the best that I can everyday to just keep looking for the good in life. Not always easy. I still have a bunch of things to do to close up her house. Ya I know 4.5 years is a long time but it is my thing to sort through and go through so anyone that thinks I am a dumbass to bad. It's my life and I will do what I can to get through it each and everyday.

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Permalink Reply by bluebird on June 10, 2017 at 6:16pm

I will never marry again.  I will never date again, or develop any sort of romantic/sexual relationship with anyone else, ever.  The very idea is anathema to me.  My husband is my soulmate, and I never have and never will want anyone else. 

Which is not to say that someone who does choose to date and/or marry again is wrong for doing so. I don't understand why they would want to do so, but it doesn't really matter if I understand it, as it's their life, not mine. Each person has to do what's right for her/him, and has to decide that for her/himself.

I just know that for me, there never has been and never will be anyone else, only my beloved husband.

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Permalink Reply by bluebird on June 11, 2017 at 3:29pm

Anne,

You're right,but I wouldn't care if a great guy, kind and intelligent and good-looking, wanted to have a relationship with me (not that it's likely at this point anyway, but as a hypothetical). I have zero interest. I do not want anyone else, and I never will.

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Permalink Reply by joanne on June 11, 2017 at 8:38pm

Bluebird i completely agree with you.x  I am one of those people that believe we have only one true love in our life time , I had mine and even though he may not be here with me, he his still mine, always will be mine. I have zero interest in meeting  let alone marrying anyone else, because for me  anyone else would be a lie .x  

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Permalink Reply by bluebird on June 11, 2017 at 8:41pm

Exactly, joanne. That's how it is for me, too.

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Permalink Reply by Jackie cooke on June 12, 2017 at 2:46am

I agree Joanne, it wouldn't even be fair on anyone else as they could never even to start to compare to shirl. Iv never wanted or looked or thought about being with anyone else since I was 16 so if I haven't in 36 years I'm not going to. Ever. I'm just waiting for the day I'm back with Shirl, until then I'm just treading water trying to get through each hour x

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Permalink Reply by Robin M Bond on April 12, 2018 at 5:02am

Hi there, it is very difficult to live alone and spend a whole life in loneliness. I think in every phase of life you need someone who cares for you, make you smile and love you. I think you need to take the help of professionals who can help you out from this confusion. One of my friends was also faced this situation and he was confused about the future and his love life. He visited to Martine-voyance who guided him with helpful suggestions.

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Permalink Reply by bluebird on June 1, 2018 at 11:56pm

Robin,

You are absolutely wrong, at least in terms of trying to apply your view on this to every grieving person. I am not in the least bit confused, I know exactly how I feel, and what I do & don't want. I want my husband -- he is my soulmate, my love.  I do not want anyone else. I have no need of a clairvoyant to assist me with any of this.

Perhaps some people do want or need assistance from therapists or mediums or the like, maybe they would find it helpful, and that's fine. However, you are incorrect in thinking that everyone needs that, or that everyone who is grieving the loss of her/his spouse or partner is "confused" or "needs someone".  No.  I need one specific someone, my husband. I don't need to be in just any relationship, I never have. I need my husband.  There will never be anyone else.

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Permalink Reply by Richard Rivera on June 2, 2018 at 5:41pm

It's been almost 2 years now and I still wake up screaming out Annette's name. I am living in terror. I am 

living in hell. I even find myself heading toward homelessness soon. I was turned down for a 3rd time for ss disability. I'm almost out of unemployment benefits. Add to that my depression, morbid obesity, inability to remain conscious for more than a few minutes and in poor health I see my end coming soon. 

I collapsed un in the shower alone. I couldn't climb out for nearly and hour. Blood everywhere and I was lucky the wound was in my hand. But the same thing happened to Annette and I had to call for an ambulance to help her climb out. 

Suffering  24/7 is no way to live. Yet I do. I pray for mercy every day from God. To hear Annette call to me and reunite us before the silent nights drain my spirit.

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Permalink Reply by Frances Koonce on August 7, 2018 at 7:44pm

Dear Richard, it’s been several months since you posted and I’m concerned about your well being.I’ve only been visiting this forum for about a week or so, but I’m trying to learn about others as I know mutual support is important. 

Thinking of you - 

Frances

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