Things That We Learn

I never knew how hard it was to lose someone until I experienced a loss firsthand.

People will say these things - drives me crazy.  I know they mean well, but...

1. She's in a better place.

2. God had plans for her.

3. It was her time.

Also, whenever I talk with anyone about this experience they ALWAYS change the subject to a death that they had experienced.  "Well, when my father died 4 years ago..."

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Permalink Reply by rachel_micele on May 5, 2017 at 3:57pm

Oh yes, the meaningless, bullshit, fucking platitudes of the naive. There are so many and that is what's so sad of our society. The first one that comes to mind as pissing me off the most is people saying, "He wouldn't want you to be so sad." Who the fuck are they to tell me what he would want. And even so, then maybe he shouldn't of fucking died on me. I only got 3 1/2 years, max 5 of even knowing him. I don't say that because I blame my love in any way, I don't, but it doesn't matter. I am the one here, left behind, to deal with the fucking aftermess. And so it feels incredibly insulting to be so invalidating of my feelings. I don't want to make my love sad but telling me to not be sad just makes it even worse. And I'm already in the nightmare from hell.

Permalink Reply by Louise on May 5, 2017 at 6:05pm
I hate that one, fucking stupid!
Permalink Reply by Jeff C on May 6, 2017 at 2:31pm

I agree. Especially with the ""He wouldn't want you to be so sad" line.  We don't know what he/she would want.  Either way, it really doesn't matter.  Being devastated is a natural reaction to this kind of loss.  We don't feel a certain way because someone wants us to feel that way.

And do these people believe that if there is an afterlife - and I think it's possible - they would be happy to see us cheerful after losing them?  That makes no sense.

Permalink Reply by bluebird on May 5, 2017 at 3:59pm
rachel,
I feel exactly the same way.
Permalink Reply by dream moon JO B on May 5, 2017 at 5:33pm

q thng i did lern its tk me so ao long 3 lern  lif is full of bull shit u get tld 1 thg th a difrtent thng

evn ovr a loss or it ex ther tim u shud get ovr it bt why shud we

or 1s its giv u hrfd tim ovr loss u giv me grief its a ,oss os wott

im turnin in2 esn its got torots coz of lsss ihav

im fu>>>kt it it s me its misin evr 1 havu had a loss no bt u hrtin me im lk hw fukin hw can i hrt u iv had so mush loss a moms gt alz/dem calin me evry nam umdr sun u cud say

ths 1 pissss me off evry day evry tim it gets esy

easy

all funrels u will go 2will get esers bull sht no it dnt it brgs it all bac

evn ut funrels wh u cryin for its only persn its died juts get fuck ovr it im lkin my hed hav u a humn fealin in yore body ths persn wz a humn bean i t wz

Permalink Reply by Jackie cooke on May 6, 2017 at 3:51am
Today, are you feeling better now, well suppose it is 8 weeks now!! I'm not Ill, I'm not going to ever feel better, this can't be cured with tablets. No I'm not feeling better, everyday I feel worse, reality is setting in and i am realising I am alone and will never be happy, safe or loved again.

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