Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Oleta Cato on February 27, 2017 at 8:28am

Believe me, I understand.  It's been one year and two months today.  I ache for my husband.  I want my husband.  I would give all of my tomorrow's for just 24 hours with him.  At least once a day I scream his name.   Life will never be as it was.

Permalink Reply by Krystle on February 28, 2017 at 3:59am

I understand fully. It's the worst pain ever. Keep your head up..

Permalink Reply by Jon-Paul Ackerman on April 12, 2017 at 10:45am

Kevin, welcome to a sacrificial life of fatherhood. It is a cold, dark place where everyone expects u to chin up and smile. It gets worse as well. However, we can understand how to provide the best support for all Our children's circumstances. I love you bro. I am here with u thome it may be too dark to see

Permalink Reply by Kevin Bailey on April 12, 2017 at 11:19am

I really appreciate that Jon- Paul, much love and respect to you and everybody else in this support group. You beautiful people are even closer to me than some of my own family and so called friends. We understand eachother and unlike most people I talk to in my every day life, the ones that don't wanna see me depressed, just Happy and smiling and not talking about my beautiful wife. We speak the same language and We have true empathy for what eachothers going through. When I read these comments, I truly feel your pain and it hurts me so deeply that we're in this hell. You beautiful people are my shoulders to cry on.

Permalink Reply by Robin Quinn on April 18, 2017 at 8:20pm

Almost at the 15 month mark of losing my soulmate, my heart of over 29 years.  The pain doesn't go away, you just learn to live with it.  I still cry daily, I can almost talk about my husband without crying, almost, I can look back on memories now and smile some.  I still can't bring myself to watch the video we made on our last xmas together, maybe someday, but it still hurts too much.  I'm lucky that the people I know don't try to cheer me up, they tell me in time it will get better, it will get easier, and they just hug me. Grieve for as long as you want, there is no time limit.  No one who hasn't lost their soulmate will ever understand the vast emptiness we feel.

Permalink Reply by Kevin Bailey on April 25, 2017 at 8:24am

Robin I feel the same way, I just feel a little comfort being surrounded by her pictures but I can't really look at them for too long because I just wanna go back to that time. My grief is apart of me, it's a wound that will never heal or get better but I know I hurt because I love and that's why I can deal with it. I will always love her, therefore I will always be in this pain.

Permalink Reply by M Adams on April 25, 2017 at 6:21pm

Really relate to what you say here, Kevin. t's strange how things can be comforting and painful at the same time. We never had any photographs of each other on display, but after my husband died it was one of the first things I did, getting digital photos printed and looking for older envelopes of photographs. I put some in frames and now they are everywhere in our home. I do love seeing them and seeing him looking happy and full of life, but I know what you mean about gazing too long bringing tears. I also made an album with some of the pictures and some other things, ticket stubs and so on, from our life together, writing in it some details of when and where different moments occurred. It was painful doing it and I had to do it slowly, bit by bit over months. Since I finished it I have not been able to look at it but I am glad it is there, waiting for me to be ready.

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