Move on?

I get up and go to the store, I see people laughing so freely and going on with their everyday lives. Meanwhile I'm dying inside and always on the edge of crying no matter where I am, I now wear my sun glasses inside so I can cry without people noticing. I have absolutely no motivation to move on with my life right now, this depression has taken over and has rendered me powerless. This pain is unbearable at times. I try to watch tv or play games, work or even talk on the phone but it's always waiting for me and is always on my mind. One of the few bright spots I have in my life is my Kids and knowing that I'll see her again. Hopefully sooner than later.

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Permalink Reply by Oleta Cato on March 31, 2017 at 11:40am

Kevin,  I only dreamed of John the night he died.  I couldn't sleep so I put on his p.j.s, had a large glass of straight whiskey and slept.  A few hours into my sleep, he was standing by the bed, he had on Levi's and a sport shirt.  He put his arms out and I woke to see it was not real.  I have not dreamed of him since.  I don't remember my dreams so this was unusual.  I am at the depths of depression right now.  Our wedding anniv. would have been April 4th.  His b'day was Mar. 20th.  Too much, too close.  I can't seem to function.  My son tells me I need to talk to a professional.  He may be right. I honestly don't have any idea how people live through this.  I am so tired of putting on a good face and a smile for others.  No one wants to see me depressed or know what's going on in my mind.  I'm so glad for the understand of all of you people who are in the same boat.  God bless.

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