Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Richard Rivera on February 19, 2017 at 6:35pm

Something else I want to add. I'm now outside this evening sitting on my stoop. The weather is just beautiful. It's quiet as always.

I hope Annette is now beside Me enjoying it too. I'm going to stay in tomorrow. Tonight, I'm going to have some whiskey and fish. My old doctor once told me (when I had medical insurance) that whiskey will aggravate my heart and liver due to the already strain put on by my obesity.

My view? I'm going to enjoy my dinner and to hell with the advice. I'm going to enjoy myself then hit the sack to 8 hours of soothing music thanks to You tube.

Permalink Reply by Elynn m on February 19, 2017 at 9:36pm

Richard, it is good to hear you say that your faith is better every day!  There is life after death.  God created us and does not intend to forget about us after we die.   He created us to be with Him throughout eternity.   My hope is in Jesus, and I know that I will see Joe again (as soon as possible!)  God is there in every step we take.   As difficult as this is for us, He is always there for us.  

     I was feeling very lonely tonight, as I'm sure all of us do.   Trying to reach out to old friends is often very disheartening .    Trying to make new friends.  Sorry if I sound very negative.  Just had to express myself.

Permalink Reply by Richard Rivera on February 19, 2017 at 11:03pm

Elynn:

No need to apologize there's nothing negative about being honest about your feelings. I myself cry every night during the day as well when I'm alone I think the hardest part for all of us especially those who have no children and live alone is that there's no one around when we need someone to talk to the nights get Darker and our feelings make us sad.

I have survivors guilt about what happened to My beloved Annette. I can't stop thinking What I could've done for her to prevent her from dying. That one item alone will haunt me for the rest of my life. I can't shake those feelings as much as I want to. I have to live with it and pray that my time on earth is very limited so that I can be reunited with my beloved. there's nothing wrong with wishing that. I know she's there and I hope she takes me quickly too.

Permalink Reply by Richard Rivera on February 20, 2017 at 9:02am

Something I also realized on this beautiful day. The loneliness is literally killing me. I don't mean figuratively. I really mean it. My body is just about collapsing. My insides are hurting like hell. I. Can't handle the suffering of knowing Annette isn't with me. I mean to say she is in spirit
(where I can't see her) but I can't hold her hand and greet each day.

Annette and I vowed to be with each other for life and whoever died first, the other would soon follow. We both knew that together we could handle whatever problems life threw at us. But we also knew we were, if left alone, we would whither and die once one of us were to die. We spoke of this every so often.

She told me that being only the two of us that if one of us were to die, it should be her. She told me she'd never, ever be able to survive and would go insane without me.

But the fact is we are both alike. I. Ant and won't survive without her either. I'm as weak and losing my mind just as she would have if I were dead.

I can't reconcile any of this. My mind is indeed slipping. I know the physical part is close behind. Even now breathing has become more labored each day that passes.

Sleeping is a privilege I rarely am lucky to get when I can.

But the shrieking has increased not gotten better.

If I do find that I indeed qualify for Social Security disability, the only thing left for me to do is grow d and die or die from illness. My days of seeing hope are gone.

My only solace is that Annette and I will be back together again.

Just like the ending to the movie THE ROBE. you can check it out if you haven't seen it on you tube.

Permalink Reply by Richard Rivera on February 20, 2017 at 3:29pm

I was reading about a widower in Wales who 2 hrs after his wife's death from cancer took his own life. They were a young couple in their 30s, no kids. However the in laws on both sides were saddened but not surprised as the coup had a reputation of being joined at the hip. They were inseparable according to the wife's father-in law. It begs the question. If a couple have no children, and no one to answer to but each other, is it morally wrong for a surviving spouse to get their affairs in order and take their life? The Welsh couple had no religious affiliation, so I'm assuming the husband didn't consider that a factor. But I've seen online articles like this one I mentioned.

Anyone have an opinion? I know to each his own. For me I let time, God and circumstances dictate how and when it's my time and would never, knowing how much suffering is enough, would judge others who are alone in the world too harshly.

Permalink Reply by Elynn m on February 20, 2017 at 8:47pm

Richard. Yes, I can offer my opinion.    there is definately something beyond this life.   We are only here for a short time.  As I get older I see why God says in his word (the bible) that "..life is like a vapor",   (here one day and gone the next.).  

 Everyone has an appointed time to die.  That's why I don't believe that a person should take his own life.  In my case, the Lord has more for me to do here before He takes me home, even though His grace is sufficient for me.   (Yes, it's very hard and lonely, but I am praying that I complete what He wants me to do, so that I can go home.)    Every life is precious in God's sight.  That means you, too Richard....  And everyone else who is here.

Permalink Reply by bluebird on February 20, 2017 at 5:49pm

Richard,
I think that is up to each person to decide for her/himself.
For me -- I do not believe there is a god, but I could be wrong, and if I am he could be a bastard (if he exists and let my husband died, then he is) who might try to keep me from my husband if there is an afterlife. Also, I don't want to hurt my family (parents, sister, brother-in-law), whom I love, plus our cat needs me, and I love him.
However, once our cat's life has ended, I don't know if I will kill myself or not. I refuse to live for many more years, but I hope to die peacefully, painlessly, and quickly in my sleep, or, failing that, quickly of a sudden heart attack, as my husband did. Dying that way would be easier on me and on my family, and could very well happen, as I do not take care of my health.

Permalink Reply by Richard Rivera on February 20, 2017 at 7:12pm

Bluebird

Do you believe in an afterlife regardless? it doesn't have to be God. It could just be an afterlife. I still believe in an afterlife even if there wasn't a God. There's more evidence than ever that supports the existence of an afterlife. That at death we shed our mortal bodies and move into a spiritual realm. That there is definitely something beyond this world spiritually.

Even if we believe in it, it doesn't take away the pain and grief of being separated. Believe me, I know. I still scream in the night. My health is shot. I almost suffocated this very day. I was eating and my esophagus could not process the chewed food. My oxygen was cut off. The food rested in my chest area. I started to suffocate in public. I made it worse by Drinking, thinking it would clear it up but it made it worse. It's a miracle I can tell the story today, but there was no one there to help. I was alone. I was ready to scream for help when I could feel the food dislodge and pass to my stomach.

I was scared as hell. I realize now that if anything should happen to me there's a 99% chance I will be alone when it happens. No one wants to die alone. But i know Annette will be there waiting whether God exists or not. But I know the afterlife does it exist.

Permalink Reply by annjulie on February 20, 2017 at 8:58pm

I often wonder if there is an afterlife. I'm hoping there is so I can see my mom and boyfriend again. For their lives to end so tragically, 5 days apart from each other, it atleast makes me believe that there is a bigger picture. It terrifies me that this happened to me, I hope I didn't do something terrible in a past life, if it exists. It also makes me believe that life is very short (which keeps me here for now) and that perhaps this life on earth isn't home and one day we will go home, wherever that is. This can't be home. I just wish that I could have spent my time here on earth with those I loved the most my Mom and Boyfriend </3 I hope I can see them again. I'm not sure how I can live all these years without them.

Permalink Reply by joanne on February 20, 2017 at 9:52pm

Richard , I have no religious beliefs whatsoever,  but before Andy died 2 days before actually I dreamt he died, I told him this and he told to to stop being silly amd it was just a dream, but this dream upset me to the point I told some of my colleagues about it, then when he was in critical care this was when I was told their was a 50/50 chance of survial, I dreamt my that , y deceased  grandparents, whom by the way I have never dreamt of before came and told me that they had come to take him, I remember screaming and saying you can't have him and me running to find him, only to be trapped behind glass and saw Andy turn to me a smile and take out his wires, these we not normal dreams, ive had many  more since, to many to write down here , although I do keep a dream journal now, I even had one where Andy just appeared and said to me "jo there's an afterlife you know, it's just not what you think" . Andy knew I had no belief in an afterlife so I believe he came to me to tell me it was going to be ok, and that I would see him again.My last encounter was not that long ago, I was drifting or arousing from sleep, when I felt someone behind me , I was a bit frightened to be honest, but I knew it was andy, I also caught a flicker or movement, I can't explain, yes it might be my grief playing tricks on me, but I've always have strange vivid dreams since I was a young girl, so I know the difference between a so called normal one and a much deeper one, what iI'm trying to say is that I am now a believer, I believe there is something, Andy told me so, right,  and he never lied to me. I hope this helps you a little, or maybe you think Im crazy, I hope it's the first option.  Take care, Jo x

Permalink Reply by Richard Rivera on February 21, 2017 at 10:22am

Dear Joanne:

I don't think you are crazy. I think you are absolutely blessed to believe and understand now that there truly is an afterlife. I think for myself with my health declining each day and getting worse as I try to function, that I too will cross the veil and be united with Annette.

The life I have now is nothing. no ambition. no work. Ill health. just each day blurring into the other and trying to stay sane as the silence and solitude consume me.

I believe and so do many others that we give meaning to the afterlife using words like God and Jesus when regardless of any religion association, death and rebirth are part of the normal process of human existence.

Despite increasing proof every day showing that there is something after death (an afterlife) the scientific circles still have a problem because they are grounded in this physical world. And this universe can only be measured and even quantified using the laws that govern THIS universe (as science progresses and discovers more truths).

the existence of an afterlife far exceeds the understanding of our current knowledge of energy, linear time, matter etc..

The study of metaphysics's of the afterlife will require its own Einstein, Newton and Galileo to emerge and confirm the existence of life after death.

Sadly, I don't see that happening in my lifetime. and even if a new generation of scientists who were to study the metaphysical were to emerge and prove the existence of the afterlife they would run up to the same skepticism and disbelief that the church and religious leaders displayed when Galileo tried to tell them about how the earth revolves around the sun and that we were not the center of the universe.

So for those like us who believe in the afterlife, we wait for the arrival of our Einstein, Newton and Galileo to prove, quantify, and explain that a human soul exists -- and that another world waits for us with our loved ones.

Permalink Reply by Richard Rivera on February 23, 2017 at 1:40pm

I have an update on the "life after death" conversation I spoke of in my previous reply.

I took an Uber cab and during the trip the driver and I got on the subject of life after death. He used to be a radiology tech who due to an injury can't do his job anymore. So he drives his Uber car.

He went in for an operation behind his neck. An error in administering medication during his operation caused him to go into cardiac arrest.

Here's where it gets interesting. He said at first it dark then he said he saw himself as the surgeon tried to revive him. He said he watch from outside his body as they tried to shock him into consciousness.

Then he said he found himself back in his body. He said he was astonshied by what he saw. He saw the light but never got the chance to go because he was revived so quickly . From that point on he said he no longer feared death, that he was changed.

Just thought I'd mention it.

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