I'm just wondering has anyone had issues with bad dreams? They are horrible. I wake up crying and can't go back to sleep. Then I'm a total mess for days after. I want so much to have a good dream with my husband and I have been lucky enough to have a couple, but have had several bad dreams. Just wondering if this is normal? I don't know how many more of these I can take!!

Views: 314

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

had thn on off 2 still few nw agan had a lot wen my dad died 2012 flash bac nite mars  i had had few mor flash bac 1 on off 2  off orht pepel i no it pass i did 

sorrry on yore lossss

Absolutely.  My husband died four years ago, and almost the only dreams I have had with him in them are nightmares.  In these nightmares, he leaves me or I leave him (as in breaking up), or he cheats on me or I cheat on him -- in reality, none of those things ever happened or ever would have happened, but in the nightmares they do.

I know it is because my subconscious is desperately trying to find him, trying to work out where he is and why he is not with me. Nonetheless, the nightmares are horrible, far worse than any other nightmare of any kind that I have ever had in my life.  In the past year or so there have been a couple of snippets in regular dreams where he appears, in which we are doing regular things (in one dream we were browsing in a thrift shop, for example), but they never last long and they are rare anyway. I have never had a "visitation" dream, in which my husband actually visits me in a dream (I am agnostic regarding the afterlife, so I honestly don't know if my husband's beautiful soul even still exists).

Anyway, you are definitely not alone in having bad dreams / nightmares. I think it is probably fairly common for widows/widowers, especially those who are deeply in love with their spouse/partner.  Even more so, I think, when the spouse/partner has died suddenly and unexpectedly, as is the case with my husband.

Thank you so much for replying. I was feeling so alone. I only got 2 responses to this. I have lots of dreams where i'm looking for him and when I find him he won't look at me or talk to me. Also flash back dreams of the night he left me. I have also had the dreams where he cheated on me and wants nothing to do with me. They are so hard for me to deal with. I am upset for days after. I just dont understand the dreams. We were so in love we told each other everyday. I'm so lost without him. I was so confused and hurt by the dreams. It has been just over a year and the dreams still happen on a pretty regular basis. Thank you for your insight!! Now I know I'm not alone in this.

Thank you for replying. It does help to know I'm not alone in this. I might try reading the text messages before I go to bed and see if that helps. Thank you

{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}

I'm glad I could help a bit, in such a shitty situation. Like you, I have also had dreams where I am looking for my husband and when I find him he is just indifferent to me, he won't talk to me or anything.  To me, those dreams are just as bad as the cheating ones, as they imply that he just doesn't give a fuck, which I know is not actually true, but in the dream I don't know it and I don't understand and I am just devastated.  I know what you mean about being confused and hurt by the dreams, but please realize that it's your own subconscious mind trying to make sense of things, it is not your husband actually conveying that he doesn't love you or that he cheated on you or anything like that.

My  husband and I are very much in love, too, and I am completely lost without him. To me, the world is no longer real, now it's like some hellish virtual reality nightmare in which I am trapped. I literally no longer feel as though I am part of humanity or part of the world, because I am not. I am like a zombie or a shade, merely a shadow of who I was. The nightmares certainly don't help with that, especially when the feelings/effects from them last for days, as you mentioned.

You are definitely not alone in having nightmares, or in the way you are feeling. I think you will find a lot of support on this website, as we are all in much the same situation. I hope you are able to find some measure of peace.

I really think it's just your subconscious mind trying to figure it all out.

sinse my dad died in 2012 had a few bad 1s thn sum lovin 1s wish lovin 1s i luv 

1 i had of my dad had my o up set wear he tld me he hatedddd me wish stil has me pst evn it wz lst yr tht 1 i thng i rebr it coz it rely upst me it did

im word in cas i get bad 1s of my cat i had 2 get pt 2 sleep coz i wz nt srng enuf 2 tak her my slf evn orth falyiys pas sum tims hav bad 1s of thm i do

I have had a lot of them. I dream about finding out he died all over again.
I have had nightmares for 7 years since my dad was stabbed over 6 times byou my stepbrother. I've gone thru grief counseling and I'm better but everyone lies when they say it gets better. It never gets better. My step brother and step mom made sure he never had prison and he is free. It hurts so much and I refuse to tell someone that this kind of loss just "gets better" because that's not true
My nightmares are my dad being alive and I wake up and he's always gone.

RSS

Latest Activity

Speed Weasel commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"GriefShare is a church based support group. They do have meetings online, but the usual format is a group of people experiencing a loss getting together weekly to watch videos (13 weeks total) about grief and loss. After the video, we talk about the…"
Oct 21
Natasha commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"is griefshare a website like this?"
Oct 21
dream moon JO B updated their profile
Oct 16
Morgan Sangrouber is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Oct 10
Addie replied to Kali's discussion It was not supposed to be like this in the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
"Kali I’m so so sorry you are going through this. Grief is hard enough, but going through it secretly, all the while having to continue showing up for your kids, is just brutal. Perhaps your friend was careful to hide your conversations behind…"
Sep 26
Kali added a discussion to the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
Thumbnail

It was not supposed to be like this

In 2014 I met the most amazing man ever. We were both in our very early 20s and were looking for different things at the time. We ceased communication for roughly 6 months. During which time, he completed basic training and joined the Air Force. By the time we reconnected he was already at his first duty station.. 8 hours away.We decided we wanted to continue our relationship and proceeded to cultivate a deeply emotional connection. Regular calls and video chats, visits while he was home on…See More
Sep 26
Kali joined Cathy Richardson's group
Thumbnail

Being the Other Woman/Other Man

This is for anyone who has lost their lover to death and you were the other woman/other man in their life. We have to grieve in silence. I can't find any support groups and feel like I'm the only one going through this situationSee More
Sep 25
Profile IconKali and Bridget Baker joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Sep 25

© 2024   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service