Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
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No one can know until they have been here. NO ONE. The loss of any other person is not like the loss of a spouse. A friend recently lost his wife. When I called I did NOT ask how he was. What a stupid question even for well meaning people. I KNEW how he was. I asked if he could talk and then I let him cry. I can still hear my husbands voice....a lot of my widowed friends cannot do this. I can still smell his scent. I can almost reach out and touch him but not quite.
There are no words for how we feel.
I feel the same way. I wish all the time I would wake up and it would just be a horrible dream. The night my husband passed I remember thinking go to sleep so when you wake up everything will be fine. I havent found anyone who understands. I am 39 and none of my friends have been through this. they try to help and sometimes they just make it worse. I feel the sadness all the time. I am very glad you shared. I can relate to everything you shared. I wish I had something helpful to offer, but I have not yet found anything that helps.
I just want him back and it's awful knowing it won't happen. We will never see one another again or look into each other's eyes......share an embrace or a laugh or enjoy a fine meal, listen to music and all the other things we did. It's over. Never to hear him say, "I love you"......heartbreaking.
I sat in John's chair, in front of the TV, for five months praying for him to take me to join him. Didn't happen. I have no idea how I managed to put one foot in front of the other but I did. What a particularly sad time of year for all of us. In eleven more days it will be the first anniversary of John's death. No words, just no words.
As I'm trying to get ready for the day my husband's favorite version of A Christmas Carol comes on. It wasn't my favorite but we always watched together. Suddenly, I started thinking of what we considered one of our best Christmas'. This was in the early 80's - everybody has their favorite veg clothes for staying around the house. He had a pair of cut offs that were soooo ready for the dust rag job but he loved them and wore nothing else when he was just staying home - now I'm talking denim with see thru holes in places not everybody wanted to see! He wouldn't give them up. About 2 weeks before Christmas, I washed and hid them and wrapped them up. He was not a happy camper when he couldn't find them and of course, I told him I didn't wear them so I had no idea what happened to them. On Christmas morning we were unwrapping presents with the kids and we made sure that was the last thing he opened. You would have thought he hit the lottery! He dropped his drawers right there and put those rags on and wore them all day - even when the rest of the family came for dinner - not a pretty site to the rest but me and the kids knew how happy he was and that's all that mattered. I can't help but sit here and smile as I remember his happiness. What I wouldn't give to be able to hide something from him again.
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