Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Crystal on October 11, 2016 at 7:11am

I found the 1st year after dad dies, or for that matter anyone does, is the hardest. You're having to get used to him not being "there" for you & around your life. How do you cope? You can't call him & chat anymore like you used to, & stuff like that. Truth be told, you don't at 1st. You just deal with the pain of loss. One thing I have to,suggest to you, I'd reach out to mom, she's dealing with his loss just like you-her other half was taken from her. She can understand your mutual loss as your husband can't understand or cope with. When my own dad died, I had my sister to lean on. We both could reach out & know each other understood. Until my husband lost his own father a few years later, he couldn't really help. I also suggest you find a counselor to talk & help you handle this. They are trained to listen & give you ways to cope that you may not have thought of. I'm glad you reached out here, it's a 1st step to healing. It shows you admit you can't handle this alone. Keep posting! We're here for you.

Permalink Reply by Angela Thompson on October 11, 2016 at 7:06pm

Thank you Crystal for replying. I normally would not have a problem with talk Inc to my mom but she has moved on and she moved on quick with another person. Two months after his death she was talking to another person and now he has moved in to the home with her. After my dad passsd she went to visit her cousin in Hawaii for a month and then to her sister in Germany for 6 weeks so she got her support and grieving out. I'm sure that a counselor might be the ideal person for me to talk to but finances won't let me, so here I am. I will admit you are so right about having to learn to deal with not being able to chat or laugh together cause he's not here. I walk into their house and there isn't anything left there of him... no coffee cup, or cigarette butts, no nothing. It's just a very hard thing to deal with.

Permalink Reply by Linda Miranda on October 27, 2016 at 11:45am

Hey Angela,

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. And your mom's quick recovery must be hard for you. I lost my mom two weeks after I lost my dad, on the day of his service actually. We finally found out a few months later that she died of heart problems. My dad was killed by a speeding car while he was crossing the street near his home. Anyway, my point of all of this was I went into a tailspin after. I had no idea what to do with the random outbursts of tears that had become the norm for me. So I searched online and found this group as well as Free Hospice grief groups. That may also help with the grieving process. Best of luck moving forward. Its been 4 months and it's getting better. But then today, I can' t stop crying and I want SO BAD just to hang out with him for a little while.

Permalink Reply by emma on October 11, 2016 at 5:13pm

It's been all most 11 years for me and for me it's not easy I never got to say goodbye... I'm so sorry for your loss

Permalink Reply by Michael on April 16, 2017 at 5:22pm

Angela, how well are you coping with your loss?