Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Paula Marie on July 14, 2016 at 11:56am

Stephanie, I'm so sorry to hear of your tremendous loss. It sounds like it may have happened very unexpectedly. I lost two people who defined the word "reality" as I know it - they were my world - within five years, and I'm still having a very hard time with the devastating loss. I don't know what to say to offer any comfort, except that you are not alone on this very confusing and unwanted path. Again, my condolences.

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Permalink Reply by Stephanie R on July 14, 2016 at 1:05pm

Thank you, I am so sorry you lost your loves. He was killed in a car crash caused by someone running a stop. I said how do I live without him but I keep waking up everyday. I am not sure why the Gods are keeping me here but here I am.

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Permalink Reply by Paula Marie on July 14, 2016 at 3:13pm

Hello Stephanie,

I think the worst way to lose someone is so very suddenly like that. I've experience that, too. It leaves one completely numb and in a state of shock. Reality suddenly seems as if it has disappeared. If you'd like to send me a private message, please feel free to do so. I don't know why the gods would keep on waking us up every single day, only to face the horror of our losses. It's been very hard for me to understand anything anymore. 

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Permalink Reply by Copper "Charlie" on August 18, 2016 at 6:38pm

I'm so very sorry about your husband and your pain.  My husband passed away unexpectedly, as well.  From when he realized he was having trouble breathing to his passing was 45 minutes.  I was lucky in that the last words he said to me, repeating over and over, was "I love you!"  That's all that's kept me sane.  It's been a year and 3 days for me.  He was 55.  Unfortunately, we did not have our whole lives ahead of us.  He had stage 4 lung cancer and had maybe 5 years left...but I feel cheated, sometimes not having gotten those 5 years. 

I go through the motions.  Living without him is so lonely.  Even with my daughters living here.  My husband was my reason for living, my laughter and soul...he was my everything.  Know you're not alone. 

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Permalink Reply by Vanessa Stinnitt on September 26, 2016 at 5:33am

I lost my husband of 27 yrs on jan3=2016 i am still reeling from the pain.i miss him so much it literally feels like my heart is breaking.i write to him in a journal as if he were here.it helps.i get my feelings out. It , give ut a try it may help.
..[

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Permalink Reply by Ruthie on September 26, 2016 at 11:30am

Vanessa, I lost my husband 1-7-2016, in an accident, and our daughter is 27 years old.  We are both about at 9 months since the loss. I never lost anyone--my parents are still alive and together--than all the sudden I am in a world of darkness with many uncompassionate people.  It makes me appreciate the few angels/compassionate people that I run into.  I never knew life could be so miserable and my heart ache so much and my body just wont naturally shut down.  I just tried the journal last week too and it is helping. I got the book "The light between us that others on this site suggested and it too is giving me some comfort.

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Permalink Reply by ShingingLight1967 on October 7, 2016 at 1:42pm

Hi Stephanie...

I am so understand your pain.  I lost my husband suddenly last December, one week after we celebrated our 6th wedding anniversary, we had been together for 14 years, he was 46.   I still wake up everyday thinking that it is all just a dream, expecting to see him, and as the cloud of sleep fades, I realize that this IS my life.  

I am still struggling trying to figure out how to move forward. Everyday is really just a slog to get through, and I feel like a fraud.  Everyone tells me that I seem to be doing OK.. and little do they know that almost every night I am curled up in a ball. 

I am so sorry for your loss. 

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Permalink Reply by Pamela philipp on October 7, 2016 at 3:29pm

I am so sorry for your pain I lost my husband one year ago eight days after my mother passed and I'm still very lost I feel like I have the plague sometimes cause no one talks to me anymore my family totally has ignored me for a year I have been absolutely alone in my grief I hope you can find some peace I'm still trying I wish I could tell you that time heals all wounds but I can't and I am very sorry for your loss

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Permalink Reply by ShingingLight1967 on October 10, 2016 at 10:14pm

I dont know about that platitude "time heals", because I honestly dont think that is the case.  Maybe time dulls the pain?  But it doesnt heal it, especially when it comes to a SO. 

It will be 5 years starting October 16 that I lost my Dad, and then 3 months later, I lost my Mom.  The next few months are going to truly throw me into a loop.  I am already anticipating it, bracing for it. 

I dont think that time heals, especially when you have new wounds that open up old hurts.

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Permalink Reply by Pamela philipp on October 11, 2016 at 3:19pm

I said I wish I could tell her that time heals but I can't because I know that's not true time doesn't even numb the pain because it's been a year for me since I lost my mom and husband and I am lost as ever I wake up crying every day I go to sleep crying every night many nights I don't sleep at all i'm sorry I wasn't more clear about that because I don't want you to think that I think time heals everything cause I agree completely with you it doesn't heal with time it also does not dull the pain

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Permalink Reply by ShingingLight1967 on October 12, 2016 at 12:49pm

No apologies Pamela.  None needed. I think we are just trying to find our way...

((hugs))

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Permalink Reply by Ruthie on October 12, 2016 at 11:15am

Traumatic and Sudden loss is so hard. I too lost my 51 year old husband unexpected and this makes it so much harder to believe or sink in.  Prayers to you.

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