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"Loves Knows No Death" - This Could Help You!
First, I don't mean to offend anyone. If you don't agree with my viewpoint, please ignore this post. I am really only trying to help.
As I have mentioned before, I am a total hardcore skeptic of anything that I can't see, feel, touch, etc. I am an agnostic, and I look at astrology as total nonsense, for example. I was a very social, personable, and fun guy to be around. I liked to drink, tell funny stories, host big parties, tell off-color jokes, and be one of the guys. I was also mostly "surface," guarded, and kept people at a distance. Losing my girlfriend, Milagros, has made me small, fragile, scared, sad, lost, and raw, and an overall mess. I'm lonely, feeling bad about the future, and miss her terribly. I love her more than I love myself. I am desperate and need to have even the slimmest form of hope.
Meeting with grief counselors hasn't done much. I realized that I'm not going to get better this way. Not that I want to very much, really. My goal is to keep her with me while I get though the day-to-day stuff. I don't have to be happy - just functional. For several weeks, I was. I was going out with women (but telling them about her), drinking, etc. It's a band aid. But now I'm in a down cycle. You can identify, I'm sure.
Someone here suggested "The Light Between Us," and reading it made me realize that things might not be as final as we think, that there could be hope. The book lead me to the Forever Family Foundation: https://www.foreverfamilyfoundation.org/ They are a non-profit organization that is made up of people like us, along with scientific researchers.
"Love Knows No Death" is a $10 workbook that I have just started to read. I am at work, so I can't access the associated videos, so I will have to stop until I get home, but I am very impressed so far. The premise is basically that, okay, we have suffered a severe loss, but that that person isn't really gone. They still love us, are aware of our pain and sense of loss, and there is a good possibility of contacting them. I know that I would feel a lot of relief and comfort if I knew that Mila were still with me and that we could communicate.
Here is a quote from the workbook:
"When you will understand – rationally understand – that your loved one has not simply ceased to exist, some of the hopelessness and desperation will go away. When you will realize that, from the spiritual place where he or she lives now, he or she still loves you, then you will open up to the possibility of a contact."
Well, there you have it. Again, I don't want anyone to be offended. I wanted to put this out there in case someone is helped by this group, their information, and the workbook.
Views: 836
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Patricia HELEN on
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Hello Jeff
This is comforting. I lost my precious husband in June and keep wondering if in spirit he is with me in our love still. He believed there was a life or an energy as he called it beyond this life but we never really talked about how our love might endure beyond this world. What a wonderful thing if this were the case. After 35 years together our love had grown stronger than ever- the pain of the loss of him is indescribable. Your post gives us some hope that death might not be as final. Surely when a love for another is so strong in this life it doesn't just die with physical death. I will read the book with hope... iwll read the bok
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Thank you Jeff
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Hi Helen,
I hope it helps. I am halfway through it and it's really doing a lot for me. It is not a "move on" kind of guide.
Also, it is not a book. It is an interactive workbook with associated online videos.
Good luck.
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Hi Jeff
I have the work book on order. I'm glad you say it is not a 'move on' book... so many of those around and while they may help some there is always the feeling that there is something wrong if you just want to stay in your relationship after your loved one has died. As a Christian since my husband died I have questioned whether there is anything in the Christian belief in an afterlife- the 'how' and 'why' questions are there. But I've also started to read a book by John Polkinghorne a well known British quantum physics scientist who has studied the relationship between science and theology and makes the case for the existence of a Creator and a life beyond ours...He has written numerous books. They do not look like light reading but still comforting if you can wade through the density of the writing.
Thank you again Jeff
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Permalink Reply by Ruthie on
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Thanks, I will have to check it out. I am a Christian, but YES I do believe I have Kevin's energy around me. For example radio stations changing all by itself to our station, tree frog on my window every night watching me and just this weekend came upstairs somehow for a visit. I am not sure how it got in. I have felt a touch on my ankle right before I was falling to sleep, this was his way of gently waking me up in the morning. My Kevin was full of energy and even if I was not a Christian I would know Kevin is NOT gone. I wish everyone could have the beautiful signs of life continuing some how. These signs have brought me so much peace.
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Ruthie,
Please do. While this workbook is secular in nature, I think it will make you feel a lot better.
Those sound like very real signs!
Good luck!
Jeff
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Permalink Reply by Bruce on
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"The Light Between Us" is a great book. I lost my daughter in July and every day is getting more difficult. I am going to check out the "love knows no death" as well.
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I am so sorry to hear about your daughter... PLEASE check out "Love Knows No Death." I honestl;y believe that it will give you hope and comfort quickly.
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Oh my, thank you for suggesting "The light between us", I cant put it down and it makes so much sense--thanks, Bruce
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In "Love Knows Know Death" the doctor says that grief basically stems from two things:
1. The physical and permanent loss of the person.
2. The finality of it all, that they have completely vanished.
He also mentions that no one can do anything about the first part. But if the second part can be shown to be not true, tremendous healing can occur.
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The doctor has good points.
Having endured this journey for three years and eight months I can vouch for both. What grief for me has resulted from number one has now increased dramatically in its ability to make a wreckage of my psyche. It isn't all the time like it was for the first two years or so but the visceral missingness of my husband is intense but was different then. It was constant and literally made me unable to function.. Now I am better at functioning, but, but now I find myself willingly steering towards some final exit. I don't think I have the courage (yet) but the visceral missing has grown (if thats possible) and is now so intense when I fall into my hole that anything is preferable to the pain. Just about anything.
As for his second point. It is the battle of fantasizing that somehow, somewhere they still exist. The need to find that place where he might be has pushed me to study physics since day one and even with all I have learned and wish to be true the unknowingness to a non believer/skeptic has not provided the relief I seek. No, the finality with no options is another killer.
All I can hope for is that this grueling, exhausting, physically debilitating period in my life quickly diminishes what health I may have and takes me to the same place where he is. Nothing short of that as I move the mountain around seems to be the solution.
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