I am an introvert. I always have been. I have spent my entire life with just me and my significant other pretty much being my entire social network. Sure, I am good in social situations. But I don't want or need a lot of people in my life.

When my husband passed away (almost three years now) I was just totally lost. He was everything to me. My best friend, my husband, my father, my brother, my child. I know that may be hard for other people to understand but I didn't have anyone to fill those other roles in my life.

I soon realized that a HUGE problem for me, in addition to my grief, was how to find new people to add to my life. I mean, I never really needed or wanted a lot of friends and I guess I still don't now. Ideally, I would love to meet another man to spend my life with but if I can't find that, I need to find one or two good female friends.

The problem is, I'm an introvert. Everyone tells me I need to join groups or go to bars (I don't drink) or do something else that involves a lot of people but that just isn't me. Its hard enough learning to be a widow I really don't think it makes sense to try to entirely change who I am (from introvert to extrovert).

I'm retired so I can't meet people through a job. And the volunteer opportunities I have tried aren't really good for meeting people.

Are there any other introverts out there? And if so, how are you handling this situation? 

Views: 1443

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Hello Betsy. 

I wouldn't say I'm an introvert, exactly, but I do have panic/anxiety disorder, so I really don't like social situations unless I already know and am comfortable with most of the people there, and in any case I prefer smaller gatherings to larger ones.  I've always been that way, but since my husband died I really have no desire to spend any time with anyone, outside of small amounts of time with my family. I much prefer to just sit at home, alone.

If you do want to meet other people, there are activities you could join that don't involve going to bars or other places with lots of people. For example, if you enjoy reading then you could join a book club -- they generally only have 5 to 10 people per club.  Or if you attend a church/temple/mosque/etc., maybe you could get involved with some groups there (maybe a group that volunteers at animal shelters, or a group that organizes childrens' activities, etc.).

I hope you are able to find some activities that you enjoy, and that allow you to meet people in the way you prefer.

Thank you. 

Hi, Betsy. I am an introvert. I cared for my dad for the past few years of his life and watched him slip away. This entire year for me has been nothing but death and loss. I have a couple local friends but I do not get out much, I just really have no desire too. I look for online friends and found the most supportive are online. I am on facebook and in a couple bipolar groups as I am bipolar. My online life helps me a great deal because I do not want to leave my house, I will not even go shopping really. I have been so lost this year and it started with my mother-in-law passing away. It has been all downhill since Christmas eve last year. Add me as a friend on here, I don't have any which is kinda sad. I would love to chat. (((hugs))) I know how hard it is not making friends, and getting out there. It will get better, and  just so you know you can meet nice people anywhere, restaurants, grocery stores...anywhere. If you happen to have a facebook send me a message and you can add me there. Have a great day.

RSS

Latest Activity

Speed Weasel commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"GriefShare is a church based support group. They do have meetings online, but the usual format is a group of people experiencing a loss getting together weekly to watch videos (13 weeks total) about grief and loss. After the video, we talk about the…"
Oct 21
Natasha commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"is griefshare a website like this?"
Oct 21
dream moon JO B updated their profile
Oct 16
Morgan Sangrouber is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Oct 10
Addie replied to Kali's discussion It was not supposed to be like this in the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
"Kali I’m so so sorry you are going through this. Grief is hard enough, but going through it secretly, all the while having to continue showing up for your kids, is just brutal. Perhaps your friend was careful to hide your conversations behind…"
Sep 26
Kali added a discussion to the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
Thumbnail

It was not supposed to be like this

In 2014 I met the most amazing man ever. We were both in our very early 20s and were looking for different things at the time. We ceased communication for roughly 6 months. During which time, he completed basic training and joined the Air Force. By the time we reconnected he was already at his first duty station.. 8 hours away.We decided we wanted to continue our relationship and proceeded to cultivate a deeply emotional connection. Regular calls and video chats, visits while he was home on…See More
Sep 26
Kali joined Cathy Richardson's group
Thumbnail

Being the Other Woman/Other Man

This is for anyone who has lost their lover to death and you were the other woman/other man in their life. We have to grieve in silence. I can't find any support groups and feel like I'm the only one going through this situationSee More
Sep 25
Profile IconKali and Bridget Baker joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Sep 25

© 2024   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service